Decemystery (2019) 6: The Bermuda Beast

Ia, Ia, Shub-Niggurath! Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young!

The Bermuda Triangle with a reputation that exceeds its name. Known to some as the Devil's Triangle, this hypothetical location has been blamed for numerous missing aircrafts, ships, and peculiarities—ranging from mysterious lights in the sky to bizarre compass readings. These date back to when Christopher Columbus was waiting through the triangle in October of 1492. Columbus claimed that his crew saw strange lights in the sky that darted around, while the man himself said he had unusual compass readings.

Theories surrounding the Triangle are as plentiful as its body count. These include aliens abducting the aircrafts and ships, Atlantian technology causing aircrafts and ships to crash, wormholes, the Triangle being a portal to another dimension or universe, otherworldly beings destroying or stealing them, and blackholes.

Officially, the explanation to the Bermuda Triangle's bizarre behavior is that it's in a spot that causes unusual magnetic field behavior. I'm likely butchering that explanation, but I'm extremely bad when it comes to how Earth's magnetic field operates. Regardless, this theory has been scoffed at by those who believe there is more to the Triangle than we like to believe.

While I have full the full intention of one day covering the entirety of the Bermuda Triangle in a documentary style write-up, where I'll cover the mammoth legend front and back, inside and out, I want to focus on one theory today. It's called the Bermuda Beast and it's something that reads more like something straight out of the 2019 film “Godzilla: King of the Monsters”.

Described as being four times the size of the Eiffel Tower—which would make it a staggering fifty one times the size of a Blue Whale at over 4,000 feet long—the Bermuda Beast is said to be capable of leaping out of the water to snap entire planes from the sky and devouring them and everyone inside in a single, this colossal monstrosity would be the largest creature to have ever inhabited Earth by a country mile. It would be four times the size of the largest tsunami ever recorded. Ride the wave, dude.

However, is there any evidence to support such a leviathan? Let's find out.

A Real Life Kaiju: The Mystery of the Bermuda Beast

Besides being the record holder for the largest cryptid to ever “recognized” (the second largest being the Zaratan—a supposed turtle with an island on its back), the Bermuda Beast is a creature that is purely hypothetical in nature.

As stated above, the creature would be capable of leaping out of the water to devour plans. It could rise up to the surface, open its mouth, and swallowing entire fleets of ships in one gulp. Its mere movement would likely cause “ripples” that would be classified more as tidal waves. I’m also certain that the level of water displacement that this thing would cause upon crashing back down into the ocean would cause cataclysmic tsunamis, just like it snoring or breathing would register on the Richter scale.

My facetious statements aside, this type of creature serves as nothing more than a hypothetical explanation for the Bermuda Triangle. So, our first question is: what does it look like? Well, there are naturally no photographs of it, but I was able to find three definitions of what it may look like. The first was the header for this entry, where our adorable little beast looks more like something out of an H.P. Lovecraft story.

The second one is of a serpentine creature, which bears the name of “Magnathorax”. This comes courtesy of the “Mythical Creatures Guide” website, which you can view if you click here.

There’s also a bit of lore that accompanies this photo which reads as follows:

The Magnathorax, is one of many legends known behind the Bermuda Triangle, but the story on this creature is very vague, some debate if it is either a Sea Serpent, or a Dragon. Some say it could be a Dragon King, from Chinese Mythology. A ginormous creature, the Magnathorax is suspected to be as long as ten city blocks, and when lied out flat, one hundred to two hundred meters high. Some people who claim to be dragons call the Magnathorax one of the "Great Deaths", A Great Death is a dragon of ancient times, and very VERY large. Some say this beast is peaceful, some say if it's awakened it'll be the end of us. Some say it's fake, some say it's real. It's up to you to decide.

All grammatical errors and whatnot have been retained by the way. That said, the third and final image is below and according to the “cryptidz” wikia was from a photoshop contest. Make of it what you will.

With those two other images out of the way, the final question one would ask is: are there any sightings of it? While there have been reports of remarkably massive creatures in the past—some of which we may one day go over—I cannot say I’ve heard of any story that’s quite like this thing. The aforementioned Zaratan was allegedly seen by two sailors and some claim it sparked the myth of the Kraken. However, that thing is four times smaller than the Bermuda Beast. Should there be a creature even close to that size, it wouldn’t be able to hide for very long unless it rested beneath the ground of the Marianas Trench.

With that said, that’s the story to the Bermuda Beast. A fascinating little-big monster, let’s check out the theories associated with it.

Theories

1. It’s real

Indeed, there are some out there who will claim that the beast is real. This isn’t something I ridicule mind you. Rather, I welcome all sorts of thoughts on this blog; I do not discriminate even if there are some theories and claims out there that I think are incredibly silly. The Bermuda Beast is, at its heart, one of those things that I think is silly, but to each their own.

The idea as to why some think this varies. Some will say it’s because our world is much bigger in scale than we believe it to be (this is something I actually believe). Others will say that the governments of the world are covering up its existence. Exactly how is beyond me, though perhaps it’s through the use of Project Blue Beam—the legendary holographic technology that is used to conceal the real Moon behind a hologram. This is of course among other things; Blue Beam goes above and beyond the world of normal conspiracies and we will be covering it much sooner than you may think.

Who’s to say it’s being concealed though? Perhaps, the beast is something otherworldly. Indeed, the mere concept of a 4,000 foot long sea monster capable of devouring an entire passenger plane in one gulp not being quite terrifying—or fantastical—enough. As such, perhaps it’s an alien, left behind just as the Chupacabras, Bigfoot (Bigfeet?) and Mothmen of the world have. Alas, such a theory is merely that: a theory. Take it with a 4,000 foot long grain of salt.

2. It isn’t real

On the flip side, there are those who believe the beast to be nothing more than a hypothetical creation to explain the mysterious disappearances of an invisible triangle. This theory has the counterargument of how we as a species have not discovered something that is nearly a mile in length, how it survives, where it could reside, what its prey is, and a plethora of other things that relate to the survival of any living organism. There’s little more to it than that.

My Take

People have an odd fascination with overcomplicating things that can be explained quite easily. This applies to the Bermuda Beast a thousand fold. The Triangle itself is a fascinating little enigma, but to the best of my knowledge, the number of disappearances isn’t something exceptional. In fact, it’s quite normal. However, thanks to popular culture, it’s become a worldwide legend that’s up there with the likes of Bigfoot, Nessie, and the Yeti.

The fact of the matter is, a creature like the Bermuda Beast is something that cannot live. Period. A 4,000+ foot long creature would have an extraordinarily difficult time surviving given it would need to eat an absurd amount of food to sustain itself. It would need an obscenely large amount of blood to course through its body too. This wouldn’t be any normal creature that one can claim relies on magic to give itself sustenance, this thing would likely have a blood pressure of Eternal Agony over End My Suffering.

To say that deep down, I think this theory is comical would be kind. I think it’s foolish to tell yourself a creature like this can exist. We aren’t talking about a creature that is Biblical or Theological in nature—a creature that one can argue has metaphorical purposes within its context. The Bermuda Beast is meant to be taken at face value and as such, we are meant to take the statement of a 4,000+ foot long sea monster as fact. This is silly and I think that anyone who does think this creature exists could benefit from understanding how biology works.

While I do think there are plenty of terrifying, fascinating, and magnificent beasts waiting to be discovered in the depths of the world’s oceans, I don’t think there are any that quite fit the description of the Bermuda Beast. Not unless Godzilla got a pet goldfish.

Conclusion

Stories of monsters that are thousands of feet tall or long go back millennia. They’re fun stories to think about, but they have no basis in reality—at least for the time being as we will cover something that relates to them being a reality at a later date. For now, you can rest easy knowing that the Bermuda Beast is by no means real. Not that I think anyone was ever truly scared of it.