Conspiracy: The Laptop From Hell

Politics: it’s a minefield where mudslinging is norm and fanaticism is an inevitability for any strongman who wants to boast about how he’ll bring about change. Here in the United States, I ponder how on God’s green Earth we’ve gotten to where we are now. Then I remember that this country was built upon fighting our fellow man and sit back as people outside throw Molotov Cocktails at each other. Good times, good times.

Indeed, in recent times, American politics has become a hotbed for a second civil war. The left-wing (or center-right in the eyes of some) Democratic Party and the right-wing (or far-right in the eyes of those who see Democrats as center-right) Republican Party have been at each other’s throats. Democratic Congressmen such as Adam Bennett Schiff, Nancy Patricia Pelosi (who currently serves as Speaker of the House of Representatives), Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and Ilhan Abdullahi Omar are all seen as demons in the eyes of many conservative Republicans.

On the opposite of the spectrum, Senate Majority Leader Addison Mitchell “Mitch” McConnell, President Donald John Trump, Congressman Devin Gerald Nunes, and Political Commentator Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson are all seen as traitors and general dickheads by the liberal Democrats. Such accusations are also thrown by Republicans towards the Democrats I mentioned above as a side note; nothing is off-limits when it comes to labels hurled against the opposition party. There have been murders, attempted murders, attempted kidnappings, and just about everything else one can imagine that hasn’t escalated into a full-blown days-long gunfight.

Such tension is inevitably going to hit a point when a gunfight like that does break out though—but we aren’t here to speculate on that (though who knows, maybe we will down the line). Politics is, however, the name of the game today and with that, I felt it was necessary to give a background to what sort of chaos we’ll be looking at in this write-up. So what exactly is today’s story? Well, it’s one that’s going to be something much, much different from my usual back of tricks. We’ll be taking a look at an on-going story; one that only recently emerged. It’s a highly controversial—heck, I’d call it volatile—one that’s almost certain to get me a great deal of flak from many people (particularly acquaintances of mine). It's a story known as the laptop from hell, though I’m sure that most Americans will know it as Hunter Biden’s laptop.

Now, before I even get into the story, I want to stress something—and I desperately want you, dear reader, to keep it in mind. Given that this story’s ongoing and still developing, I want you to treat this write-up as nothing more than me conveying what I’ve read and know about the story to you. If you’re a Democrat, this is not going to be a debunking of the story. If you’re a Republican or a Q follower, this isn’t going to be something to fuel your confirmation bias. It’s merely me telling you what I’ve read, what I’ve heard, and what I know. So treat it as a write-up filled with hearsay; it’s built upon the foundation of the rumor mill and nothing more.

On one final note: I’d like to address why I want to cover this. Simply put: the United States’ 2020 Federal Election is next Tuesday, and I think that it’d be fascinating to take a look at how this cycle has culminated in what’s arguably one of the wildest stories I’ve ever read in my 24 years on this planet. So come along, dear reader. We’re going to take a look at what some claim is one of the biggest political scandals in American history.

The Story

The actual timeline of the laptop dates back to April of 2019; this introductory information comes from a Fox News timeline that I found (which I’m aware some people aren’t fond of Fox, but let’s roll with it). As the story goes: an unknown man dropped off three “water-damaged” MacBook’s (which from here on out I will refer to as laptops) at a computer repair shop, but never picked it up. According to some news sources: the repair shop was “halfway across the country”, but I cannot independently verify this. As such, like a lot of things in this blogpost, take it with a grain of salt. I cannot stress that enough. If you take everything I say in this blog at face value and don’t bother to do your own research so you can come to your own conclusions, you have no one to blame but yourself.

Anyways, the repair shop’s owner, a man by the name of John Paul Mac Isaac, is the fellow who helped to get this story onto the mainstream scene (though the article by the New York Post was how it got out). Isaac—as I’ll refer to him—stated that he discovered sexually explicit photos on one of Hunter’s laptops; a 12-minute-long video of Hunter also smoking crack and having sexual intercourse with a still unidentified woman was also found. This sex tape is, as far as I’m aware, available to view online, but I don’t know if it’s the full video or if it’s potentially another video entirely.

So who exactly dropped these laptops off? Well, that’s unknown. Isaac is legally blind, though it’s believed by some that the man was Robert Hunter Biden, the son of former Delaware Senator and former Vice President Joseph Robinette Biden Jr.—though some say otherwise. More on that in a bit though. For now, let’s talk about Hunter Biden.

To say that Hunter is an interesting figure in the realm of American politics would be a serious understatement. A former crack and cocaine addict, Hunter was dishonorably discharged from the United States Navy after failing a drug test (he had recently done Cocaine). He’s become the center of a great many arguments in regards to Joe Biden’s ability to nurture and care for the citizens of the United States, let alone his own son. Hunter is, to say the least, a troubled individual. Currently, he’s 50-years-old, but he’s very obviously been through Hell and back when it comes to his substance abuse problems. It’s also probably not too far-fetched to say that he has abandonment issues when it comes to lacking a father figure given Joe’s lengthy tenure as a United States Senator, but that falls more into the realm of speculation thanks to some texts that have been leaked. I recommend looking them up if you want more context. For now, let’s get back on track.

Now, when it comes to the identity of who dropped the laptops off, some have speculated that it could have been some sort of conspiracy to have dirt one of the two possible Democratic candidates for the Presidency (the other likely candidate was Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders). While most would probably not want to admit it still, Joe Biden was, from the get-go, one of the most popular choices for the Democratic nomination. A career politician who had the nostalgia of former President Barack Obama’s tenure as the leader of the free world behind him, Biden’s persona as a kindly old man appealed to middle America in some capacity. In short: many left-wingers have their suspicions that Russian FSB agents stole the laptops, implanted false evidence onto one of them, then dropped them off. More on this in the theories section though.

Fast-forward a few months. Nobody ever came to pick the laptops up and murmurs of impeachment were filling the air. Well, as luck would have it, Isaac was a registered Republican and, deducing the laptops may have belonged to a member of the Biden family thanks to a sticker for the Beau Biden Foundation (Beau is the deceased son of Joe Biden; he died from cancer). Upon looking through the emails on the laptops—specifically using the word “Burisma”—Isaac found the following:

Dear Hunter, thank you for inviting me to DC and giving an opportunity to meet your father and spent some time together. It’s realty  an honor and pleasure,

It’s reported that the email was from a man named Vadym Pozharski, a Bursima advisor, and was dated April 17, 2015. This was roughly a year after Hunter took a job on the board. Joe has since repeatedly denied that his son used the family name to get the job, let alone used it for any sort of influential gain around the world. Despite this, it’s said that in May of 2014, Pozharski sent an email asking Hunter if he could use his influence (presumably his surname) to assist the company.

These emails led Isaac to supposedly contact an “intermediary”, who Isaac claims is a citizen he’s known for a long while. Also, if you don’t know what that is, it’s a person who acts as a link between two people—or parties—to help them come to an agreement or reconciliation. This intermediary proceeded to get in touch with the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI for those who aren’t familiar with them in spite of the numerous memes).

Time would tick by until November of 2019 when the FBI would arrive at Isaac’s home and make forensic copies of the laptop. However, they left the original devices at his home. A month later though, they did take it. In the time that the devices were left at Isaac’s home though, he made a copy of the hard drive. An agent also informed Isaac that if Hunter ever came along asking for them to inform him that it was in storage and to contact the FBI and they’d drop it off.

Imagine that: the FBI having to be the delivery boy for the son of the Vice President. How novel.

On one final note: Isaac claims that the FBI “buried the investigation”. This is something that we’ll get into later; I’m just parroting what Fox News has. Geez, that’s really weird to type.

Moving on: the start of a new decade brought up many things. The Coronavirus, a quarantine, a lockdown, a this and that and the other thing. Interesting way to start the decade off all things considered, but nothing for Isaac, it was something else. According to him, he had stopped hearing from the FBI and that he’d attempted to contact “several members of Congress”. Alas, none responded (man, that’s about the most fitting description for Congress I’ll ever read). It was at this point that intermediary ended up contacting a man named Robert Costello, who serves as the attorney for the former Mayor of New York City, Rudy Giuliani.

Then there’s a large, large gap of time that I cannot account for. Whatever happened between “early 2020” and September of 2020 with Hunter’s laptops is unknown. For all I know, they fell into the Twilight Zone and then emerged again by falling onto Sean Hannity’s head. Whatever the case may be, the article states that Steve Bannon—the former head of the controversial news site Breitbart and former Chief Strategist for President Trump—alerted the New York Post about the laptops. It was also at this point that Rudy got a copy of said hard drive, which he later provided to the Post.

Tick tock, time was on the clock as Election Day was drawing closer. Then, just this month, the New York Post released a report on the emails. Chaos ensued.

Like, a lot of chaos.

The Biden campaign, naturally, denounced the report and labeled it as malarkey (okay, I don’t know exactly what Joe’s campaign said, but I’ll be damned if I don’t get to use that word once). Though that brings us up to speed on what exactly the backstory is to this all, so what warrants a write-up on this? Well, there are a few things.

For starters: the emails imply that Hunter used his family name to get onto the Burisma board. It also seems to point to Joe withholding money from Ukraine unless an investigation that was ongoing was nixed; said investigation was looking into Hunter Biden. After the investigation was thrown out, Hunter later joined the Burisma board.

That is, at least, my understanding of it all. The story behind that is worthy of its own write-up and that’s something I won’t even touch because I know I’d be crucified no matter what sort of stance I took on it. Alas, it plays a little role in this story, but we’re not focusing on that.

Indeed, the angle of Ukraine, the controversy surrounding it all, and the claims that the Democratic Party said Trump was in cahoots with it while they themselves were isn’t why we’re going to talk about the so-called “laptop from hell”. Rather, it has to do with a great many rumors that surround it.

You see: since this all began, there have been claims that a lot is on the hard drive and that what is on there is something that would shock the whole world. Child porn is at the top of the claims—some have claimed that Hunter Biden has nude images of Natalie Biden (Beau’s now 16-year-old daughter and the niece to Hunter), a sex tape or sex tapes of him having intercourse with her, and claims of sexually explicit images and/or videos of Ashley Biden, Hunter’s blood sister. There are also claims of videos of Hunter raping very young Chinese girls (since the Biden family has a close relationship with Chinese corporations).

Yeah, I’m not going to waste any time. The supposed contents of the laptop are quite vile and disgusting to read about, but is there any proof to these claims? Well, kind of. You see, a few days ago, GNews—a news outlet that serves as opposition for the Chinese Communist Party (or CCP) began leaking images that are supposedly from the laptop. The number of these images is close to 25,000 and it all started with a sex tape. In it, Hunter is smoking crack and having sex with an unidentified woman who some claim is either:

1. Natalie Biden—who at the time most believe would have been 14-years-old.

2. Ashley Biden.

3. An unknown Chinese prostitute.

The general consensus is that it’s a prostitute, but this hasn’t been confirmed and as such, the worst remains a possibility (though one can only speculate on the probability).

Numerous other images began coming out after this; there are a ton of pictures of Hunter’s penis, one of an Asian woman bending over, exposing her butthole and vagina as Hunter stares into the camera, and a fair number of him receiving footjobs from unknown women. One image is of an African American woman who some claim is Malia Obama—one of the daughters to President Obama. Another the leaker claims is of an underage girl. None of these images I will show because I don’t need the FBI dragging me into a dimly lit cell where they can interrogate me on why some no-name white guy is writing about Hunter Biden.

Of course, we only have the word of the leaker to go on when it comes to the age[s] of these women, though I’d argue that given the images and sex tape clearly show Hunter, it’s likely that they aren’t lying.

Though does any of this have anything to do with the Ukraine controversy? Not exactly—strangely. The two are independent of each other unless we go by some of the other revelations that have come out. A diary entry from Ashley Biden detailed supposed “inappropriate showers” with Joe Biden (her father) while a text from Hunter claims that he exposed himself on a facetime call with Natalie—and that he was also naked on some calls. This was, I believe, during the time he was addicted to crack, so I guess plausibly, you can argue that he was high and wasn’t aware. Either way, it caused more than a few Republicans to raise their eyes until you could collectively use them to climb into the “Oh my God”-o-sphere. Cue a lot of sharing on social media.

Now cue a great many suspensions on social media.

The United States of America: free speech means jack squat when tyrants rule social media!

Ah wait, that’s biased. Oh well, whatever: Twitter and Facebook are nonsense anyways, though the actions by Jack Dorsey and Mark Zuckerberg and the other head honchos when the Post’s story went viral were met with more criticism than The Last Jedi. Many accused them of covering for Joe Biden’s campaign. Nothing was ever done about it, though the Senate Judiciary Committee subpoenaed Dorsey. Yay, now do something.

Hah, they won’t.

Ahem, anyways, it’s around here where the story hits a serious roadblock. Between a few days ago and now, new images and accusations have arisen. New theories and claims about the identities of the girls in the images have also come out, with some comparisons to Natalie Biden, Ashley Biden, and the unidentified women in the pictures having been done. So why don’t I show them? Well, that’s simple: the images are simply way too explicit and feature either potentially underaged girls or just straight up nudity. It’s because of this that all I can really do is endlessly ramble about nothing. So rather than do that, I would rather simply end the story off here. While there’s certainly more I could talk about, I would rather not have to mark this blog as “not safe for work”. So, without further ado, let’s move onto the theories. Tally-ho!

Theories

1. Russian disinformation

The first theory is one that you’ve likely heard from news sources that are left-leaning, or are at least skeptical of the allegations made about the laptop.

The idea of Russians interfering with our election is a can of worms I don’t want to touch because it’ll inevitably make half of my four readers want to beat me with concrete milkshakes. That’s exactly why I’m going to go over them in a bit, but for now: what exactly is the Russia theory?

Well, the idea is that Vladimir Putin wants Donald Trump as President of the United States so he can slowly gain more and more power. Trump, for his part, did speak kindly of Putin—who was a Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti (better known as KGB) agent—on the 2016 campaign trail, though US-Russia relations have remained as cold as Siberia’s desolate land.

Despite that, many Democrats insist that Russia is working around the clock to push pro-Trump propaganda. This is, to a certain extent, true, though China and Iran have recently joined in on the fun to push their own propaganda to ensure that Joe Biden gets elected. Ultimately, as stated at the start, it’s a case of every country wanting their own preferred candidate to win. With Russia, they’re more active than the norm, but as it stands: the idea of collusion between Trump and Russia is a conspiracy theory. As for the Russian government pushing a narrative, that is true—to some degree as far as I’m aware anyways.

So with that said, let’s move on. The theory here states that some sneaky FSB guys planted the evidence and let the rest play out as you may guess. Isaac found it, the FBI covered it up because they thought it was a nothing burger, and then Republicans went crazy because “libs are evil”. Simply stuff all things considered, though is there any evidence to back it up? Well, given the leaks seem to state otherwise, no. However, the FBI did drop all charges against Hunter (wherever he may be), so there’s that.

All things considered, this theory doesn’t really have much to it, though neither theory does. There’s a great deal one can do to prop it up and knock it down, but I’d rather you do your own research. Why yes, I am afraid of people lambasting me. How could you tell? Whatever, next theory.

2. It’s the real deal

The second and final theory is the one that has been posited by primarily right-leaning news sources.

For starters: the theory denounces the idea that Russia is trying to get Trump re-elected. Okay? Let’s just move on and not linger here.

Ahem: whether you browse 4Chan, Breitbart, right-wing Twitter, or any other conservative news outlet, this theory is easily the more vocal of the two. Granted, it isn’t without reason. While some left-wingers argue that the allegations don’t matter because Hunter isn’t the one running for President, a great many right-wingers have pushed this theory as proof that Joe is a dirty politician who couldn’t raise a good son. After all, the video and images are all real, so what more could you want?

Well, nothing technically; it does prove that Hunter is a weird, sex-crazed, drug-fueled man, but there’s one thing that keeps this theory from really ending everything right here, right now. None of the supposed images that show Hunter having sex with his underage niece have been released and there’s nothing to imply they even exist. Because of that, this theory really, really hinges on your belief in a Satanic Cabal, let alone Hunter being a pedophile. I know almost every left-leaning person will press X to doubt so hard, they’ll break their controller/keyboard/phone.

With that said, accusations of Joe Biden being a creep are nothing new. There are a great many images out there of him getting way too close to young girls for comfort, so I guess there’s always that. At the same time, some attribute that to Beau having died and having messed him up mentally. I’ll leave that up to you to decide though. For now, that’s the end of the theories. Yeah, sorry I didn’t get into this much more. I genuinely don’t know how to really make the theories sound interesting. So… yeah, let’s move onto my take!

My Take

I want to preface this by saying that in the long run, I don’t have a concrete take. Given that this story is ongoing, I feel it’s irresponsible of me to say for certain that I view this story as either disinformation or the absolute truth.

With that said, as it stands, I don’t believe that what’s being leaked is fake or the product of foreign interference. Yes, other countries try to meddle in American elections—that’s unfortunately normal. While the leaders of other nations will deny such things, it’s silly to imagine they don’t. Heck, I’d say that the United States tries to interfere with elections. Everyone wants things to go their way and they’ll tamper when they can so they can have the leader that would fit their interests the best.

In the case of Hunter’s laptop though, I don’t think that what we’re seeing is some sort of hoax. I believe that the material is absolutely legitimate. The question, in my eyes, that one should ask is: how bad does it get? Is what we’re seeing with the copious amount of images featuring Hunter’s penis the norm—with the hightide being the sex tape and images of him having intercourse with prostitutes? Or is there really child pornography on there, along with other incriminating texts and images that could implicate Joe Biden and other Democrats in cases that could be met with charges of treason?

Maybe.

Such a question is something that I feel uncomfortable trying to answer since it’s possible to fake texts; that’s something I cannot deny and to do so would be extremely stupid of me. Yes, it’s possible that there’s child porn on Hunter’s laptop, though I think it’s worth mentioning that that wouldn’t immediately implicate Joe in any sort of wrongdoing. As we’ve said, Hunter’s addicted to crack. Speaking as someone who was once addicted to a prescription drug (Xanax specifically), any sort of addiction can lead to you doing a great many stupid, ignorant things on your own volition. No, I didn’t do anything close to what Hunter did, but I did so without the encouragement or approval from my parents.

My point is: it’s entirely possible—and plausible—that Hunter’s laptop has no real tie[s] to Joe and that everything is entirely on Hunter and Hunter alone.

Alas, that’s merely speculation and, in my eyes, speculation isn’t worth a penny in a write-up like this (at least, in my eyes). I could throw out theories and hot takes in relation to this story for thousands of words, but really: what good is it when new information will come out for hours, days, or heck, maybe even weeks? While I know some want this story to be nothing more than disinformation or the straw that finally breaks the back of the Deep State, I think we have to realize that such conclusions won’t be met unless an actual bombshell is released—and I don’t mean a political commentator tweeting “tick tock” for the fiftieth time this week.

So look: ultimately, I cannot—and will not—give a definitive take on what I think of Hunter’s laptop. While I think that the contents that we’ve seen are legitimate, the full extent of the contents is up for debate and as such, I won’t dare take a chance at guessing it. I’m not a clairvoyant, nor am I in any place to influence what one thinks. I encourage you to decide for yourself.

Conclusion

The story of Hunter Biden’s laptop is, in my eyes, a piece in a much larger puzzle. That puzzle is in and of itself a part of a much grander picture—and that picture is a part of a much grander story. Said story is the one where America heads towards a great period where its history will change forever. We will either see the ultimate destruction of the Democratic Party or the Republican Party. One must fall in the empire that is the Land of the Free, and whichever falls, the world as we know it will change forever.

The contents of Hunter’s laptop are likely to play a pivotal role in which party falls, for it could forever change how people view either the political parties in America and independent right-wing media. As stated earlier, One America News and Fox News have been a big part of the story and their reputation is riding on this story being legitimate. So how will it all play out? Well, we must wait and see. Enjoy the show, patriots.