Mystery: Az’-i-wû-gûm Ki-mukh’-ti

 

Once upon a time, there was a website called Mystery Archive. I wrote a whopping two articles there, and one is now lost to time. It was the one I wish I could’ve found, but the Internet Archive doesn’t have the page and I am very sad. Lucky for me, I could find this one! So, due to that website appearing to be dead, I will now post it here. Woo-hoo!

Salutations, dear reader. Tell me: are you a believer in the unknown? I know I am. I love to read about cryptids of all types: Sasquatch, Nessie, Mothman, and the reason that gas prices are obscene. However, those creatures are normal; they’re simplistic in their appearance and in their names.

Indeed, cryptids can have some funny names. Whether it’s the Nyagwaiheogwa (Naked Bear) from upstate New York or the ten-legged Qupqugiaq, there’s more than a few creatures that have names that can—and most likely will—make you do a double take.

One of those creatures with funny names is the focus of today’s story. It’s known as the Az’-i-wû-gûm Ki-mukh’-ti. If you’re wondering how to pronounce that, then so am I. Though if you ask me: I don’t think pronunciation is all that important. After all, we must first discover what this creature is and that’s why I’m writing about it. So let’s grab some snow gear and head to Greenland and Alaska!

Mystery: The Murder of Alain Bouzeida

This story is dedicated to my father, whose birthday is today. Happy birthday, old man. <3

I dunno about you, but I think that every village/town/city has “that guy”. The person who’s seen as a troublemaker, or at the very least isn’t very well-liked by the community. Maybe they’re a drug dealer, maybe they’re a raging alcoholic who tries to pick fights with everyone, or maybe they’re just generally shady and there are shifty individuals who go in and out of their home. Heck, maybe “that guy” is just a bit on the weird side.

Whatever the case may be, there’s usually at least one person who’s like that. Today’s story is one which centers on someone like that; it’s a showcasing of how every community can always have one person who people just don’t like. However, the person here isn’t one who was misunderstood. No, they were… actually kind of a dick.

Before we get to who our central focus is, I want to just say that I’ve only ever seen this story covered by the YouTube channel “Criminally Listed”, back in February of this year to be exact. While I try to steer clear of covering something/someone that a much bigger, much more popular content creator has gone over, this was a story which I couldn’t help but showcase. It’s one of the weirdest and most random murders I’ve ever seen in my life. So let’s go over the murder of Alain Bouzeida.

Mystery: The Pokémon Incubus

Minor content warning: brief mentions of rape.

Okay, so, get this: I’ve discovered this thing called “not working constantly”. It’s a really novel concept where I don’t sit around on my bed, staring at a blank Google document, trying to force myself to write for hours on end before inevitably having a mental breakdown. I know, really incredible; I am truly ahead of my time and am far more enlightened than the Dalai Lama.

In all seriousness: I’ve actually finally decided that maybe not writing when I don’t feel like I can (whether it be due to feeling under the weather or just not really desiring it) is, in fact, a good idea. This has opened up a whole slew of new possibilities for me, like playing video games and enjoying some time to myself so I can recuperate from writing.

So in short, I’m making progress in living a healthier life!

Anyways, when it comes to video games, I’ve been playing a ton of Pokémon ROM Hacks, so I’ve been going through Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and even Unova (well, that is until the game froze and I couldn’t progress). It’s been a ton of fun, and quite frustrating. Though mostly fun.

At the same time, however, it’s also been kind of a bummer. While I’ve been having a lot of fun, I’ve found myself really unable to write. This is mostly because none of the stories I had in mind really struck the right chord with me. Sure, I wanted to write about them, but nothing I wrote really struck me as “worthwhile”. When I set out to cover something. I always want it to be entertaining and not flat, boring, and unengaging. So for a brief while, I found myself feeling really bummed out.

Well, that is, until I remember a certain story.

Just yesterday, I remembered something that I saw on the good old Paranormal World Wiki. It was a story involving Pokémon and I thought it fit with my recent bingeing of the series. So, let’s take a look at the Pokémon Incubus.

Mystery: The Antarctic Godzilla

 

Let’s take a trip back to the middle of 2019. I’d just lost my girlfriend because of a gnarly break up, I was lonely, but I still had World of Warcraft to play. All was technically okay, except it totally wasn’t. Lucky for me though, I had an ace up my sleeve: writing. That’s why throughout most of 2019, I didn’t write a dang thing. However, I did have a plethora of ideas, one of which is the center of today’s story.

You see, back in 2019, I had been looking into these things called “Ningens”, which were reported by Japanese sailors. They’re basically aquatic humans that live in the Antarctic sea and are said to be really dang big (well over 10 feet/3 meters). If you want to know more, I did a rather short write-up on them for 2019’s Decemystery. It’s minimalistic, but I think it gets the point across somewhat well.

Anyways, while doing research on the Ningen, I came across another story which not only was reported by Japanese sailors, but also happens to take place in Antarctica. It’s called the Antarctic Godzilla, and it was originally slated to be covered during Decemystery 2019….

Then Decemystery 2020.

Then in this year’s Decemystery.

Finally, I decided to cover it today, because there’s honestly next to nothing in the way of information when it comes to this story. So let’s dive into this whale of a tale and see what the truth behind it is.

Spoiler: it isn’t actually Godzilla.

Mystery: Daviess County John Doe (1990)

 

Okay, so, here’s a funny story for you all. Originally, I had planned to write about Septic Tank Sam, the infamous murder victim from Alberta who was tortured, murdered (real shocker there), then disposed of in, well, a septic tank back in 1977. However, as I sat down to prepare for this, I learned he had been identified as 26-year-old Gordon Edwin Sanderson. This took me by surprise since 14 hours prior to this identification, I had told my best friend that he would likely never be identified. So not only did I have to change my plans, but I was also proven wrong and Septic Tank Sam got his name back. Truthfully, I’ve never been happier to be wrong.

At the same time, I was somewhat disappointed I wouldn’t be able to talk about a story like Sam’s. Part of what attracted me to it is I personally think I’ve never really dove into a truly dark, horrific case; something which serves as a sobering reminder to how heartless some people can be. There were a few stories I could fall back on (such as the story of Mary Anderson), but none of them really impacted me the same way that Sam’s story did…

All except for one that is.

As cliché as it is to say there was “just one”, I really do think that Sam’s story was that unique. The amount of suffering he went through prior to his death is shocking to say the least. So I feel it’s really unfortunate there is another story which does affect me the same way Sam’s does. Known as the 1990 Daviess County John Doe, this morbid tale is arguably more unpleasant than Sam’s. So if you’re squeamish, you may find this to be a hard read. For everyone else, let’s take a trip to Kentucky and discuss one of the most (if not the most) violent unidentified persons cases I’ve ever come across.

Megalist: An Introduction and Summary of 500 Conspiracy Theories (Part 2)

 Click here to read the first megalist. It’s highly recommended.

O say can you see, by the dawn’s early light,

What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming,

Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,

O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?

And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,

Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;

O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore dimly seen through the mists of the deep,

Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,

What is that which the breeze, o’er the towering steep,

As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?

Now it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam,

In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:

‘Tis the star-spangled banner, O long may it wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore

That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,

A home and a country, should leave us no more?

Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps’ pollution.

No refuge could save the hireling and slave

From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:

And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave,

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

O thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand

Between their loved homes and the war’s desolation.

Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the Heav'n rescued land

Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!

Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,

And this be our motto: ‘In God is our trust.’

And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Happy 4th of July to my fellow Americans. To those of you outside of the United States, I raise a beer and burger to you instead! 

Welcome back to my meager little blog, dear reader. It’s time that I make up for an absurd amount of lost time thanks to mental health issues. I figured there was no better way to do this than to look over another 500 conspiracy theories. Just like last time, I won’t be actively trying to debunk any of these stories, though I also won’t be trying to prove them as fact. I’d rather you come to your conclusions. That said, I won’t be refraining from making some snarky remarks. After all, I want us to have some fun as we go over these theories.

I must also clarify that a fair number of the theories may come across as “meme theories” or closer to urban legends. This briefly deterred me from even making this list, but I figured it would be worthwhile since a fair number of these theories have been asked about on 4chan and as such, there are likely people on Reddit and other websites who are curious as to what they’re about. So, consider this megalist to be the “word soup edition” of the previous one’s more serious, down-to-earth theory… soup.

Now, I would like to echo something I said in the update I posted in the middle of last month: yes, I’m aware that a lot of what I’m going to cover has already been covered by Wendigoon. To amend that, I did what I could to expand upon his research (though I don’t think I did that great of a job, but I tried). If you’d like to watch his content by the way, click here. It’s ridiculously good.

As for the icebergs I used, click here and here for them. The latter is the one used by Wendigoon himself; it’s also the one I first came across roughly two years ago. The former one is a lot more expansive, but is also littered with more meme theories. Despite that, I would consider both to be the gold standard for conspiracy icebergs.

Also, I decided to do something a bit different and added some images throughout the write-up. Hopefully, this will create a more lively feeling that I seldom feel is created in other posts on this blog; the words can only go so far until they begin to feel like they’re as repetitive as concrete in a major, metropolitan city. So if the images do help to brighten up the write-up, please let me know in the comments section down below and I’ll consider doing it for other write-ups! If it doesn’t work, then I’ll write this off and never consider it again.

On one final note, this megalist will differ from the first one a fair bit. It’ll have a much more lighthearted, comedic tone. This is simply because I wanted to spice things up by playing this closer to heart; a much more personal, upbeat, silly way of bringing information to you, the reader. My attempts to word a lot of these topics in a way similar to that of the first megalist really didn’t work, so I felt the best way to go about things was to be me. So, if that doesn’t sound appealing… well, I’m sorry. I just wanted to be as I feel that, when I’m me, I win at life.

Now then, enough dillydallying. Let’s get into the meat of this write-up; it’s time to go over another 500 conspiracy theories. Tally-ho!