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Friday, December 17, 2021

Decemystery (2021) 17: The Kinnula Humanoid


First things first: here’s a random fun fact for you. This is the last intro I’m writing—and it’s on December 12th, not long before this story goes up. Really good job on my part for doing these stories out of order, but that isn’t even the best part.

No, the best part is I have no idea where I originally found this story. I was scrolling through my list of mysteries that I have, and I noticed the name. It caught my eye because stories that involve the word “humanoid” always intrigue me, so I had to know. When I looked up the name, I was greeted with results from the ObscUrban Legend Wiki, the Cryptidz Wiki, and the It’s Something Wiki. That kind of answered where I found it, but which one it specifically was from is beyond me. For the sake of keeping in with the fact I’ve found nearly every story from the ObscUrban Legend WIki this month, we’ll say that that’s where I found it.


Anyways, the thing that brought back memories of what this story was about was when I saw this image, plus the one you can see as the header. It was the image that I hyperlinked that reminded me of what the story was, and why I picked it. It was a good old alien sighting, and I live for them!


Still, that wasn’t the biggest reason I picked it. No, that reason goes to the fact that I have a friend from Finland. Last year, I’d had her pick out a story that I was going to cover for that year’s Decemystery, but I didn’t. Then, I had thought about doing it this year, but I didn’t because it would’ve taken too much time to do. So I scrapped it and have no idea when I’ll get around to covering it (especially since I have some plans for next year). So, I opted to do this story for her.


So come along, dear reader. It’s time to talk about the green scuba suit extraterrestrial known as the Kinnula Humanoid. And to my dear friend: I hope you enjoy this.

The Story


The first thing I want to go over involves doing research for this story. You see, if you were to look this story up and do detective work, you’d find out a few things rather quickly. The first is that this isn’t quite as obscure as the Gargantuan Globulous. The second is that the ObscUrban Legend Wiki article is very barebones.


However, the one that I found most interesting is that the Cryptidz Wiki and It’s Something Wiki articles are remarkably detailed. Far more detailed than most articles than I find normally on that website. In fact, they’re so detailed that they were the main source of information for me. I say “were” because I also found that there’s an article for this story on Cryptopia, the place where I got the information for the aforementioned Gargantuan Globulous write-up from.


Still, something kind of puzzled me. Reading the Cryptopia article felt familiar. Very familiar. Too familiar. That’s because the articles on the It’s Something wiki were just copy and pasted from Cryptopia. Honestly it took me a moment to realize it was the exact same. The Cryptidz wiki article, meanwhile, is also a near carbon copy, but it has a bit of unique wording. It’s still extremely similar and a lot of it is the exact same. I only mention this because I was initially going to credit each website, but since I know that most of it came from one source, I’ll instead credit that sole single source, which is Cryptopia. So, yeah, all credit goes to them and their terrific article on this story.


Now then, onto the actual tale. It begins at 8:00 P.M. on February 2, 1971. Two women—Sinikka Kuittinen (who was driving the car) and a lady known only as “Mrs. Manninen”—were traveling from Kuusamo to Oulu. The former is on the eastern portion of Finland, a little above the central portion of the nation, while Oulu is on the opposite end. Anyways, during their drive, something caught their attention. A light had appeared by their car, on the right-side of the road, and it was approaching them.


This light evidently had a bit of a playful attitude to it. After flying on the right-side of the road for a bit, it flew over the vehicle and went onto the left-side. Sinikka would later say that, as it went over the car, her ears felt as though they were plugged up. For those who may not get what that means, just get water in your ear. It’s that. It really sucks.


Anyways, Sinikka continued to drive; whether she or Mrs. Manninen were at all terrified isn’t stated, but I imagine that being followed by a strange light in the sky isn’t exactly akin to meeting your childhood hero. I digress though; this game of ET’s Wildest Police Chases eventually came to an end once Sikka arrived at a field. At that point, the light suddenly vanished.


That isn’t to say that all was over, no siree; both Sinikka and her compandre claim that they saw a 3 foot (0.9 meter) tall humanoid standing… somewhere. Cryptopia doesn’t explicitly say where it was standing, nor do any of the other wikis. I even tried other websites, like UFO Insight, but that only added that the entity “replaced” the glowing light (which makes me wonder exactly how big the light was, and how close to the ground it was). If I had to guess, I’d assume that the figure was standing in the road, but given they were near a field, I can’t help but ponder if it was standing there, and one of them spotted it, screamed, and the other turned their head and saw it too.


Whatever, let’s get back on track. Both women have stated that the figure—which has since become known as the Kinnula Humanoid—was wearing a “greenish-brown suit”. After being spotted, it proceeded to make its merry way across the road by jumping ever-so gracefully. This makes me think the creature wasn’t on the road, but I’ve heard people say that someone has crossed the road, even when they’re standing in the middle of it. Whatever the case may be, I just wish I had some sort of confirmation as to where this thing was (especially since, if it replaced the light, the last mention of where that was was over the road).


I’m probably overthinking things way too much and am grinding this story to a halt way too often. So anyways, both women watched as the creature swiftly vanished into the woods. At this point, Sinikka slammed her foot onto the gas and sped off to Oulu, never looking back, nor having any desire to find out what the jolly old humanoid was going into the woods for.


My guess is it wanted to catch up with its high school classmate, Finnish Bigfoot.


Anyways, the second, final, and most famous sighting of this creature took place three days after the inaugural one. It was only after this one that Sinikka and Mrs. Manninen would report their encounter with the Kinnula Humanoid too. This time, however, the sighting was actually in Kinnula—specifically Kangaskylä, which is a village within Kinnula itself. Anyways, this encounter took place at 3:00 P.M., on February 5, 1971. Two lumberjacks—21-year-old Petter Aliranta and 18-year-old Esko Juhani Sneck—were doing what they do best: chopping down trees. They’d been doing that the entire morning, plus part of the afternoon, doing nothing but that, and were naturally rather exhausted from the laborious task. That, and it was also an overcast day, so it was getting dark.


However, as the duo were beginning to end their day’s work, Aliranta spotted something above them: two saucers that appeared to be stacked on top of each other. The object was metallic and was simply hovering at the canopy of the forest. Aliranta estimated that the saucer-stacked-object was apparently 15 feet (4.5 meters) in diameter. I’m not good with anything related to the size of an object, but I can only imagine that this thing was rather large, so I can only imagine that seeing it was quite terrifying.


Rounding things out, Aliranta stated that the craft had four thin landing legs that he guessed were at least 6 feet (1.8 meters) long. The fact they were already out is kinda strange to me since, if this thing was near the canopy of the forest, it would’ve risked damaging its landing gear, but we’ll get to that later since it’s actually important. For now, let’s focus on the story.


Whether or not the saucer made any sound (which it’s worth mentioning that in the vast majority of UFO sightings, they never do) is unknown; this is due to Sneck having never shut off his chainsaw (which Aliranta had before spotting the saucer). Aliranta kept his eyes on the mysterious craft, which made its way to a clearing. As it descended, a portal of sorts opened on it, to which an entity sporting a green outfit popped out of it. It was a Roselia; catch it so you can get a Roserade on your team to defeat that pesky Water-type gym leader!


Except no, it wasn’t a Pokémon. It was actually the creature that would later become known as the Kinnula Humanoid. It’s at this point that I feel that it’s worth mentioning something: Kinnula is absolutely nowhere near Kuusamo or Oulu. If you were to drive to or from the former, it would take you 4 hours and 46 minutes. In the case of the latter, the estimated time is 2 hours and 11 minutes. Quite a ways away, but we’ll get to this later once more. I just thought it was worth mentioning it now since the titular ET has finally appeared in the area that gave it its name.


Anyways, the creature once again looked as it was described by Sinikka and Mrs. Manninen, albeit with slight differences. Although the two women estimated it to be about 3 feet in height, Aliranta stated that it was less than 3-feet-tall. He also stated that the creature’s outfit was completely green. Beyond that, there were some new details that helped to create quite a unique look to an alien’s outfit. Aliranta said that the entity didn’t appear to have fingers and that, at the front of its head, there was a faceplate (which resembled that of an old school scuba diver’s outfit; see below).



You’re off to Shell City!


Once our little, green-suited friend had landed and allowed Aliranta to mentally process what he was seeing, it was gamer time. The creature set its sights on Aliranta and started to make its way towards him—and in a very strange way at that. He would later say that it sorta glided towards him, similar to how one would skip when on the Moon. Although I can imagine that rather easily, I want to make note that, in the subsequent paragraph, the writer states that it was “galloping” towards Aliranta. Because of that, I have this mental image of Bojack Horseman on the Moon coming towards Finnish lumberjack. I’m deeply disturbed, and I need an adult.


Given that no adult is willing to help me, I am unfortunately forced to continue. Lucky for Aliranta, he was capable of defending himself against this horrific abomination unto mankind, for he still had his chainsaw. He started it back up, which got the attention of his compadre, Sneck. Yes, he was still there and he at no point noticed the large aircraft over him, nor did he hear or feel it descend (I’m going to hazard a guess and say that in the process of descending, the UFO didn’t disturb the snow beneath it; yes, there was snow on the ground). Hearing the chainsaw revved back to life, Sneck turned to see why Aliranta had restarted it, and caught sight of the UFO and the manlet-extraterrestrial making its way towards them.


That was when Aliranta decided to do something incredibly bizarre. With his chainsaw now roaring with life, he decided to make his way towards the tiny extraterrestrial cosplaying as the Ghost of Captain Cutler. Sneck, for his part, simply stood there in amazement at what he was seeing.



Get A Clue with Scuba-Doo.


While I wish I could say that Aliranta’s courage led to a battle for the ages—that of Man vs. Alien—that wasn’t the case. No, instead, the alien turned tail and began to gallop-skip-run (I really have no idea at this point how to visualize its movement) back to the UFO. Why it did this isn’t really known, but I imagine that either it was fearful of the chainsaw’s roar, the appearance of the chainsaw, the boldness of Aliranta, a mixture of the four, or just flat out all four. Given that some stories of close encounters with aliens involve them being afraid of loud noises (such as the firing of a gun), I wouldn’t be surprised if the close proximity to the chainsaw scared this little guy.


The retreat didn’t satisfy or deter Aliranta though. No, at this point, he was out for blood (or something; maybe he wanted the suit so he could give it to a relative as a gore-stained birthday gift). Anyways, Aliranta would later say that, as neared the saucer, he could see other humanoids near the various windows. These were presumably friends, family, acquaintances, and coworkers of the alien who Aliranta intended to go full Leatherface on.


These aliens, though, didn’t appear to be all that concerned for their pal. No, they simply stood there as Aliranta drew ever closer to the little bugger. Lucky for the latter though, it got to the ship just in time and began to ascend into it. However, Aliranta was close enough to where he was able to lunge and grab onto its heel. Not quite sure how he did that while holding his chainsaw, unless he threw it aside before lunging. Or maybe it was a small chainsaw?


Whatever the case may have been, it was when Aliranta grabbed onto the heel of the alien that he realized that touching mysterious beings wearing mysterious outfits is astronomically dumb. This is because, according to him, the alien’s suit felt like “hot iron”. I have no idea as to how hot “hot iron” is since there are various types of hot iron (red-hot iron and white-hot iron are two I found), but this could be anywhere from 400 degrees Fahrenheit (204 degrees Celsius) to 2001 degrees Fahrenheit (1094 degrees Celsius). I’m going to guess that it wasn’t the latter since that would’ve likely burned Aliranta’s hand to the point that he could see his muscle—if not his bone.


To pause for a brief moment, I want to state that this part really, really piqued my curiosity. I’ve seen images in the past of people who’ve supposedly been burned from touching UFOs (like the injuries that Stefan Michalak sustained in what’s become now known as the “Falcon Lake Incident”). Because of that, I tried to find an image of Aliranta’s injury—or at least Aliranta himself, but I was unable to. The closest I got was the following image:



This had me hopeful that maybe, at some point, Aliranta (and perhaps Sneck too) had done an interview and maybe showed his injury (or a potential scar/color deformity that was left on his hand), but it doesn’t appear that the image is of him. Instead, it seems to be from a video entitled “Old-fashioned lumberjacks required cold-resistant strength and hound character”, so I’m guessing it was some sort of old documentary/broadcast. I found it on the website yle.fl (or Yleisradio Oy, which translates to Finnish Broadcasting Company). Ytl is, according to Wikipedia, “Finland’s national public broadcasting company”, and the image is from the aforementioned video. So, unfortunately, I can’t find anything on the burn. Honestly rather disappointing, but I’ve rambled enough. Let’s continue.


Amidst all of this chaos, action, and fun, Sneck was still presumably standing where he had been standing this entire time, his chainsaw rumbling like Winnie the Pooh’s stomach. Got a smackerel of that Alien Honey for me today, Rabbit?


Ahem, anyways: after trying to grab a hold of the alien’s boot, Aliranta immediately let go and watched as the UFO departed from Finland. As it did so, it supposedly emitted a mysterious soft buzzing sound. This was likely the aliens’ way of saying that the would-be White Death successor won the battle, but not the war, and that they would be back in several decades for round two when they’d invented chainsaws themselves.


God I’m unfunny.


On a much more serious note, Cryptopia’s article states that, as the saucer began to ascend off the ground, it created a “weak gust”. This is really bizarre to me since I imagine that it would create one as it landed. Although the distance between the saucer and Aliranta and Sneck originally were had been decently large (I believe a little over 100 feet/30 meters), I imagine that they’d still feel the effects of the gust since it’s, you know, an aircraft landed onto the ground. Maybe I’m overestimating how powerful anything landing is, or maybe it was a windy day (which it isn’t specified if it was), but that’s really weird to me.


In total, this entire event lasted three minutes. However, what came after those three minutes lasted a fair bit longer. You see, Aliranta and Sneck stated that for an hour after the saucer left, they weren’t able to speak, and they had a great deal of trouble moving. This might have been shock, but when it comes to close encounters with UFOs and extraterrestrials, it’s usually said that those beings and their spacecraft have strange effects on humans. Not really sure what it would be, but I’m sure there are theories out there that explain it. If you happen to know of a theory—or multiple theories—do let me know in the comments; I’d love to hear about it.


Anyways, once the two men had recovered from the ordeal, they went to investigate the landing site. There, they found prints left by the UFO’s landing gear, plus some footprints from the alien itself. The prints of the former were relatively peculiar and trying to word the information I found without simply plagiarizing other sources is hard because I’m extremely bad with things like this. Sure, I can word simple lengths/heights/widths, but in this case, it weirdly throws me for a loop. Still, I’ll try my best.


According to ufologie.patrickgross.org, whose website we’ll be using a lot for one of the theories, the UFO had left “four round prints” that had penetrated the snow cover (which was 1.3 feet/40 centimeters). The prints themselves were round and 1.1 feet (35 centimeters) across, which seems quite large as I imagined this UFO (along with the clearing) being relatively small when I initially read this story. Anyways, although the prints were, they were in “an even square with a side of about 2 meters (6.5 feet)”. Within the square itself, the snow had melted somewhere between 1.9 and 3.9 inches (5–10 centimeters) on the surface.


I really cannot visualize what Patrick was writing about because I’m honestly nowhere near as smart as I’d like to think I am. Still, most of the wording I used there goes to Patrick; I simply had no real way to try and reword it myself and I’m sorry. If I’m overreacting about this… well, I’m sorry about that.


Anyways, let’s move onto the Kinnula Humanoid’s footprints. They were fairly small for a creature that was the size of a child and were circular. They were a meager 15 centimeters (5.9 inches) “in size”, which I’m guessing means either length, width, or something else I’ve either forgotten or am unaware about. Either way, that appears to be smaller than a human’s foot size (be they male or female).


Where things get interesting though is the distance between each “step” the alien took. They were roughly 20 centimeters (7.8 inches) apart. This didn’t vary at any point; the distance was the same when the creature was advancing towards Aliranta and when it was “running” away from him as he chased after it with his chainsaw. That said, I still can’t really visualize how this thing was moving when it’s said it was gliding/galloping. Maybe I’m just dumb.


I digress though. WIth that, the story ends. As far as I can tell, there was never another sighting of the Kinnula Humanoid (likely because the first impression it got of humanity was that if you’re seen, you’re going to get chased with a loud, scary object). However, there are a few theories, one of which takes us down a very intriguing rabbit hole. So come along, this story is nowhere close to being done!


Theories


1. It was an alien


First up, we have the theory that this was really an alien. There isn’t too much to say here; some folks genuinely believe this was a close encounter of the third kind. There have been some pretty wild encounters with aliens, you needn’t look further than the two we’ve covered this month.


In fact, I would go so far as to say that the entire thing itself isn’t too remarkable at all. In the case of the first story, two women were “chased” by a strange light that eventually vanished, at which point a strange creature was seen. There are plenty of stories of people being in cars and seeing a strange light in the sky.  Sometimes, it turns out it was a satellite, the International Space Station (ISS), or an airplane. Other times, it’s a hallucination from either mental health problems, drug use, alcohol use, or sleep deprivation. Then there are the times when it remains unexplained and it’s chalked up to a UFO; occasionally, these encounters result in missing time, and it becomes a case of alien abduction.


In the case of the second encounter—which I’ll be referring to as the “lumberjack story”—we have a story of two men seeing a UFO land and an alien exit from it. This is actually not too uncommon, but also not that common. People seeing an alien in person, however, isn’t a novelty; there are stories out there of people seeing aliens of all shapes and sizes (you needn’t look further than the Long Prairie Cans and Gargantuan Globulous). Really, the only thing novel about this story is that someone actually touched one and chased it with a chainsaw. I’ve heard of aliens being shot at, but never being chased like it was a Texas Chainsaw Massacre film.


It’s also worth noting that the Kinnula Humanoid itself isn’t exactly anything special when it comes to its appearance. There are far, far, far weirder aliens that have been spotted. As I said just above, there are the beer can aliens and the glob alien. There are also aliens that resemble penguins, and we’ll be covering a story of an extraterrestrial so bizarre, you’d think David Croenberg decided that The Fly wasn’t weird enough. So yeah, this theory really isn’t too far-fetched, though it’s natural that there are folks out there who’d scoff at the notion of an alien encounter like this. Though I digress, let’s move on.


2. It was an interdimensional creature


This isn’t a theory that’s listed anywhere, but I’m including it because it’s a rather common theory whenever aliens are seen (heck, it’s a theory applied to aliens in general). The idea is that the Kinnula Humanoid was a creature from another dimension. Whether or not you believe in this theory depends on whether or not you subscribe to the theory that there are multiple universes/dimensions/realities, so I’ll leave it at that.


3. It was all made up


This theory is the rabbit hole I was talking about earlier. You see, when it comes to any alien encounter—let alone any fantastical encounter with anything—there are people who call shenanigans. However, in the case of this story, there’s a lot more to it than just “skeptics are calling tomfoolery”.


Initially, when I started reading about this story, I found it to be plausible enough. Some folks saw a weird creature, the second sighting just so happened to have been when two men had access to an extremely dangerous and intimidating tool, and the alien was likely scared and ran off. Nothing special. However, at the very end of Cryptopia’s write-up, the writer mentions that some believe that the whole thing was made up by a radio DJ. I was curious about this, so I began to snoop around for information on this.


That snooping is what led me to Patrick Gross’ website. In the article that I hyperlinked above, he mentions a few very interesting things. At the very start of the article, he states that a Finnish UFOlogist told a British magazine dedicated to UFOlogy the lumberjack story. The name of the Finnish UFOlogist isn’t immediately stated, but later in the article, Patrick mentions his name was Tapani Kuningas; Tapani sadly passed away on December 20, 2009. May he rest in peace.


Anyways, Tapani appears to have been the first person to have reported on this story as he told the British magazine (Flying Saucer Review) the story in September or October of 1971, eight months after the encounter supposedly took place. That’s right, the lumberjack story wasn’t even reported in local papers back in Kinnula, Finland. It only became public knowledge months after the fact. If it was made public anywhere in Finland, it sure as heck isn’t mentioned anywhere that I can find.


Now granted, it isn’t too uncommon for UFO reports—or alien encounters—to go unreported. Most people don’t want to be labeled as crazy, mentally ill, or anything of that sort. So it isn’t too far-fetched to think that Aliranta and Sneck didn’t want to potentially lose their jobs for saying that they were charged at by an alien, only to be saved when Aliranta decided to fight back using his chainsaw.


On top of all of this, Tapani states there was one which didn’t reveal a single thing that would’ve made Aliranta and Sneck’s encounter “questionable”. However, Patrick Gross flat out disagreed with this in his article. For starters, he states that there doesn’t appear to have been an investigation. All there really is is the claim, which doesn’t mean anything when said investigation could have been nothing more than Aliranta and Sneck going over to look at the prints.


Patrick also mentions that the Aliranta seeing the other aliens in the windows is quite weird. He states that the saucer was 3.2 feet (1 meter) broad. I’m not sure where he got this information since it wasn’t mentioned elsewhere, but for the sake of this argument, let’s roll with it. Anyways, he goes on to state that, had there actually been three windows on the UFO, they would’ve been small—far too small for anyone on the ground who was focused on chasing someone (or in this case, something) to have been able to spot another three humanoids staring out of them.


As for how small “very small” is (or was), Patrick states that the windows were supposedly 78–11.8 inches (20 to 30 centimeters) in width. Given that he states that each would “could hardly measure” more than that, I’m imagining that these windows would’ve been closer to a mere few inches wide (perhaps 3.5–6.5 inches (8.8 to 15.2 centimeters). That’s just me spitballing though; I know nothing about measurement.


Anyways, rounding out his problems with the story, Patrick states the following four flaws:


1. There isn’t a “precise origin” of where this story came from. I feel this is a bit weird to bring up when Patrick himself outright states in the article that in the 1990’s, it was stated that a “radio journalist” told Finnish UFOlogists had made it up. Though mayhaps I’m missing the point here.


2. There’s “no detail available about the fraudulent nature of the story”. Not quite sure what he’s getting at here, which makes me feel like a smooth brain.


3. The supposed investigation cannot be traced anywhere. I feel like this is the biggest flaw in the story, but that’s just me.


4. There are “inconsistencies” in the story.


These issues were initially noted on April 5, 2007, and remain open, so if someone reading this happens to have answers, I think Patrick would appreciate it if you were able to answer them. As for me, I feel that Patrick misused two issues.


The first is that there doesn’t appear to be any record of Petter Aliranta and Esko Juhani Sneck ever existing. From what I can tell, there’s nothing beyond this story. Neither man appears anywhere besides this one story. That may not be a huge issue since it’s possible they wanted to stay out of the spotlight, but it begs the question as to how Aliranta’s supposed injury was treated. I imagine that burning yourself on something that was akin to hot iron would warrant some sort of medical attention. Maybe I’m overthinking things though, but I still find it weird that neither man got any sort of attention ever.


The second is the story with Sinikka and Mrs. Manninen isn’t mentioned. This is something I’ll go over more when we get to my personal take, but the fact it isn’t mentioned is really odd. The two stories appear to have gone hand-in-hand, but given the similar appearances, along with the lack of an origin for that story, is really weird.


On one final note, I found someone in the comments section of a video from williamdefalco (a YouTuber who does videos on anything and everything related to cryptozoology and supernatural) who mentioned that this story was fake. They had one person reply to them—who went by the username “These Nuts”—who simply said: “No”. I don’t know why, but that cracked me up when I saw it.


4. Everyone was drunk and they mistook something for an alien


This theory comes from the comments section of williamdefalco’s video. One commenter (whose name I won’t outright state because I believe it may be their real name) claims that they (I’m unsure as to whether they mean Sinikka and Mrs. Manninen, the lumberjacks, or both) were all drunk. Their reasoning? Well, supposedly, “everybody in Kinnula is always drunk”. I have no way to prove that Kinnula has a high rate of intoxication, though the first reply to the original comment backed it up (to some degree).


You see, the follow-up comment (which was from a user named Rapsu 93) states that “here in Sastamala, Finland, everybody is also always drunk”. Once more, I have no way to prove this, but if they’re correct, then I’m beginning to question the safety of driving in Finland. My dear Finnish readers, would you be so kind as to confirm the validity of these statements? If they’re true, then I must ask: when is the next Beer Fest over there?


Anyways, the final reply to the original comment was a rather straightforward rebuttal of everything that was said. According to a user (whose username I won’t state because, once again, I believe it may be their real name), simply stated:


THEY WERE NOT DRUNK, YOU DUMB [BLEEP]


Censored because naughty language is not allowed on this Christian Minecraft blog.


In all seriousness, this theory was more or less just an excuse for me to make jokes, though it isn’t too far-fetched. Had both sightings occurred after the eyewitnesses consumed a large amount of alcohol, they may have mistaken something for something else. However, there is a major flaw. In the case of the first sighting, it’s quite remarkable (heck, I’d say it’s an outright miracle) that Sinikka didn’t end up in a serious car accident. Meanwhile, in the case of the lumberjack sighting, one has to wonder how Aliranta suffered his burns, and how no one was injured given that, you know, lumberjacks use dangerous tools (seriously, I imagine that being heavily intoxicated and using a chainsaw is a recipe for one heck of a mess).


Still, I guess there could be some argument to be made here, though it doesn’t appear to be a popular theory, nor do any of the sources I went to during this write-up mention that any of the witnesses stated they had at any point drank even a single drop of alcohol.


5. It was Mickey Mouse


DID SOMEBODY MENTION THE DOOR TO DARKNESS?


My Take


This is a really hard story to come to a full conclusion on. On one hand, I think that there’s a lot which points to this story being a hoax. The lack of any photos or interviews (the latter of the two being far more damning than the former) of the eyewitnesses, a complete lack of anything involving Aliranta’s supposed burn injury, and nothing on the footprints/landing marks from the lumberjack sighting are all really suspicious to me. Because of that, my gut instinct tells me that this is just all made up and that there’s nothing to see here.


However, at the same time, I can’t think of any motive for faking such a story. Usually, when it comes to any sort of hoax, there’s an underlying motive. Fame, money, or publicity for something that you either own (like a radio show or podcast) or a product/service you have on the market (such as a weight loss program). If you were going to make up a fake alien encounter story, you’d do it because you have something you want to earn from the publicity. In this case, there’s nothing which indicates that this radio DJ gained anything from it.


Now granted, that DJ’s name isn’t know, and I’m not going to comb through each and every one from that area and see if any of them made it big (that would take a ridiculously long time and as I’ve said in the past: I’m a one-man team when it comes to the vast majority of the writing, my co-author/best friend is typically a busy man nowadays). Though even with my unwillingness to go through each one, none of the sources I looked over had anything to state on a mysterious rise to fame and stardom involving one particular DJ. This means that Finland did not get their own Zak Bagans (who, for those who don’t know, was a DJ prior to creating, hosting, and producing Ghost Adventures).


With that said, I can think of one reason the lumberjack story may have been faked: the story involving Sinikka and Mrs. Manninen. From the research I did for this story, that one has absolutely no ties to the lumberjack one; it appears to be completely independent. Because of that, it’s got even less coverage and leads me to believe one of two things.


The first is that the story did in fact happen and that the DJ was inspired by that encounter to create his own in an effort to either drum up publicity for his show, or to draw attention to that sighting. If it was the former, I have no idea if it worked; I have no idea which radio station he was a part of (let alone how popular each radio station is in Finland, let alone the specific part of Finland this story took place in). If it was the latter, it kind of worked because this story’s become well-known enough that some wikis and UFOlogy websites covered it. However, it doesn’t appear to have become as big as, say, the Falcon Lake Incident, Rendlesham Forest Incident, or the Phoenix Lights.


The second is that it didn’t happen and that’s really it. I have no idea where its origin could’ve come from; maybe the DJ created it too, but it never really took off or it was mostly forgotten. Given that most sites which mention the lumberjack story—and point towards the whole hoax aspect, I really can’t build upon anything here.


With all of that said though, my overall take is this: I believe the lumberjack story to be a hoax. The lack of photos—let alone interviews—simply doesn’t sit well with me. The claim that the aliens had their landing gear out before being at their landing site also irks me. I feel that the idea this hyper-advanced alien race would risk damaging it rubs me the wrong way. I brought attention to that much earlier, and I can finally expand upon it now. Maybe I was visualizing the entire thing wrong in my head, but it feels so reckless and I can’t imagine why they would do this. Unless they were higher above the trees and I thought, but even then, it seems like a very odd move.


That said, if I were able to find even one interview, even if it was with some sort of Z-grade magazine that only three people subscribe to, I would be much more willing to believe the whole thing. However, the fact I can’t find one, or even get a reference to one, raises enough red flags that you could cover a major US city in them. Sure, I’d still have questions (like why Aliranta didn’t get his injury checked out), but it would at least let me know that the people involved are (or were) real. Then again, the various points that Patrick Gross brought up are really convincing and I can’t really explain them away.


I digress though; I’m beginning to repeat myself. With all of that said, I don’t really know what to think of the first sighting. That one really puzzles me. Given that there doesn’t appear to be any references to the UFOlogist who originally said that the DJ behind the lumberjack encounter story was in any way involved with that one, I’m honestly stumped. Sure, there aren’t any interviews with those witnesses, but I feel a lot more hesitant to simply brush that one off as a hoax too. If I missed something on that one, do let me know. Until then, I’m stumped. It could be real, or it could’ve been made up too. If it wasn’t made up, then I have no idea as to what the heck Sinikka and Mrs. Manninen saw.


On one final note: if Aliranta did in fact burn his hand for this hoax, I have to wonder how he felt (and maybe still feels) that he didn’t get much of anything out of it. Personally, I’d be pissed. Imagine burning yourself, having to endure upwards of two months of pain, and then not getting jack squat out of it. That would just suck so much.


Conclusion


With that, our story comes to an end. I won’t lie, this was not what I expected from this story. I went in thinking this would be a run-of-the-mill extraterrestrial encounter. Instead, I got something that truly left me in awe. Sure, I may have thought it was a hoax, but I didn’t think the story—as it’s told—would be so exciting. A lot of stories involving someone seeing an alien don’t involve so much supposed detail. Because of that, I kinda wish this story could be expanded upon into a full-blown short story. Then again, it may be kind of “been there, done that”. Ah well, tell me if you think that it would make for a good short story; and as always: thank you for reading. Remember to stay happy and healthy, and I hope to see you tomorrow!

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