Here’s a fun fact for you, dear reader: I’ve never had a schedule for Decemystery that has remained the same from the moment I began work on the inaugural write-up to the capstone. The reason for that is because of that thing called “time constraints,” and maybe the desire to cover some other story because it intrigued me more than another one. ADHD will do that to you.
More often than not, it’s due to time constraints. When you’re consistently on the clock, sacrifices must be made, and that can lead to seeking out a shorter and simpler case to fill a slot. That’s what happened today—and I think it’s easy to see why if you read yesterday’s entry. The Man From the Box left me mentally fatigued, so I needed something that would be easier and would make me feel less stressed.
Boy, I wish I could say that today’s story provided that.
With something like the Man From the Box, the exhaustion came from how much there was to it and how disappointed in myself I was for not knowing what I believed were crucial details. I’m sure this disappointment will remain when these write-ups go up, and I’m still working on the tail-end of Decemystery 2024 (unless I get really lucky and manage to finish it before December 10). Regardless, the exhaustion I felt originated from my own shortcomings as a person; those shortcomings are something I can overcome, though. I hope to do so when 2025 rolls around.
In the case of today’s Decemystery entry, the exhaustion and stress were brought about by something much more comical. Every now and then, there are stories I find that make me feel like I’m trying to decipher ancient texts or I’m piecing together a jigsaw puzzle. In other words, the grammar or punctuation (or both) are terrible.
That’s the case with today’s story.
Some may ask why I’d bother writing about a story that stresses me out. Well, this one’s special. It’s not only a peculiar UFO story; it’s one that I was able to make sense of somewhat easily. It also has a plethora of baffling details that I believe will make for a fun read and will allow me to have far more fun than I did with yesterday’s story. So pack your bags, dear reader, because we’re headed to America’s Last Frontier! This is the story of The “Butterfly” UFO of Willow, Alaska!
North to the Future (and Beyond)
I found this story on NUFORC’s website (the National UFO Reporting Center, for those who are unfamiliar with the acronym). It was submitted on November 20, 2021, by an unnamed woman from Willow, Alaska. I was curious about the population of Willow since Alaska has the third smallest population in the United States despite being the largest state by a colossal margin (it’s over twice as large as Texas).
Apparently, the population of Willow is projected to be a mere 1,890 in 2024. I knew Alaska was sparsely populated (40% of it lives in Anchorage—the largest city in Alaska), but it blows my mind how small some of its communities are.
Anyway, now that your geography lesson is over, let’s move on to the story itself. Given that the eyewitness opted to remain anonymous but is referred to as “mama” by her son, I’ll refer to her as Trisha. As for her son, I’ll call him Brandon.
According to Trisha, she and Brandon were sitting outside between 1:00 and 1:30 a.m. The exact date isn’t given, but given the way Trisha worded everything, I’m inclined to say it wasn’t long before she submitted her report to NUFORC. This may seem innocuous now, but it’ll be relevant later.
That said, why the mother and son were outside in the dead of night is beyond me. All we know is that they were talking, and they were doing so in the most bizarre place possible: the “bottom” of Trisha’s driveway. I’m guessing the driveway was inclined because otherwise, my first thought is that she got “driveway” mixed up with “front steps.”
Unusual locations to enjoy a late-night mother-son chat aside, Trisha went on to note that it was a clear night, so she and Brandon could make out the stars above with ease. Not that this mattered, though, because there was something that outshined everything else (even the North Star—also known as Polaris). So, despite the lack of light pollution, any hypothetical attempts at stargazing were about to be interrupted.
This “something” was radiant white light. That’s very helpful when you consider it was in the sky where there are countless lights called “stars.” However, lucky for us, Trisha also said that the light was also “big.” How big is that? Well, Trishia put a 14-word-long summary before the report itself where she said it was “bigger” than she and Brandon. We never learn how tall either of them is, but Trisha did note that the light resembled a star. So, if nothing else, we know it looked like an orb—an abnormally large one, at that.
Anyway, Brandon was the first to notice the light. When he did, he asked his mother if it was moving, to which Trisha looked up at the sky and said, “I believe it is.” This directly contradicts what Trisha said eighteen words prior about how she and Brandon saw the light simultaneously. Remember this for later; I have a lot I want to say about it.
Regardless of how the light was first seen, Trisha added that it appeared the light was advancing toward them. This prompted Brandon to respond in the most blase and indifferent manner possible. According to Trisha, her son’s response was:
I hope it don’t.
If I saw something descending from the sky toward me, I’d like to think I’d have a stronger reaction than if I learned it might rain the day I wanted to go fishing.
Well, our brave mother-son duo never opted to run away and instead watched as the human-sized orb fell from the sky. Chicken Little would be so happy to know he was right all along that the sky was falling—and that it fell “below the trees” and “on the road in front of us.”
To briefly digress, I think Trisha meant that it fell behind the trees. Otherwise, it fell through the ground before resurfacing like it clipped out of reality and paid a visit to the Michigan Blue Hell. But, hey, maybe that is what happened. Anything’s possible when a report requires Robert Langdon to figure out what’s being said.
Anyway, despite being “on the road,” the orb was “flying along like a little butterfly.” If any of you were wondering why I put quotation marks around the word “butterfly” in the title, that’s why. This UFO didn’t resemble a butterfly (not that it matters because that would be aerodynamically inefficient). Rather, it merely flew like one.
Oh well, whatever; I want to address one other thing about what Trisha said in regard to the way this thing flew. She said that the orb wasn’t “bebopping up and down the road” or “around the trees” as it drew closer to her and Brandon. I had absolutely no clue what Trisha meant when she said the orb was “bebopping.” When I Googled the phrase, I got numerous results related to an early style of Jazz from the mid-1940s. As such, I’m inclined to say that she meant the orb was gracefully floating and not zipping around erratically.
Float like a butterfly, sting like a Jazz musician’s saxophone.
Regardless of how the orb was moving, what happened next is the thing that piqued my curiosity about this story initially—and it’s one of the main reasons I wanted to cover it. Trisha said that Brandon went and grabbed a gun. Trisha objected to his action, but Brandon said that he was “going to kill him” and that he was also “going to kill it.” He followed this up by saying he had “to shoot at mama” and that he, once again, also needed “to shoot it.”
I want every federal agency that stumbles across this blog to not only enjoy my writing but know that I have absolutely no knowledge about who “him” is in the context of Trisha’s report. Believe me, I’m as lost as you are.
Setting aside disclaimers, Trisha told her son not to shoot the orb as they didn’t know what it was. It’s also here where she specifies that it was an orb of white light; I mentioned it earlier because I didn’t want you to be left without a mental image of what she and Brandon were seeing.
After this, I have absolutely no idea what the heck happened. I don’t mean that it gets confusing in the same way that the Bagodemon, Oviedo Dick Monster, or yesterday’s Man From the Box were confusing. I mean that Trisha’s grammar is so poor that I genuinely cannot discern what she meant. Despite that, I’ll try my best to convey it.
Trisha said that “they” said they knew that and that it came “down in front” of a car before it headed over to a neighbor’s house and vanished.
If I had to guess, she meant that Brandon knew it wasn’t something normal because it’d come down from the sky, but that he didn’t care because it was coming toward them. It then approached their parked car rather than them, made its way over to their neighbor’s house, and subsequently vanished.
Don’t take my word for it, though! If everything you just read felt like it was the Decemystery equivalent of a scene from Tommy Wiseau’s infamous film The Room, that’s because it practically is. Here’s everything I just retold to you; this is how Trisha wrote her report. Behold, dear reader!
[M]y son grabs the gun and I’m like no no no he’s like I’m going to kill him I’m going to kill it I got to shoot at mama I got to shoot it I said son we don’t know what that is it was a big bright ball of light like white light like an orb or something and they say I know it come down in front of the car and then it goes to the neighbor’s house and we don’t see it no more.
None of this is made up; you can click the hyperlink at the start of this section to see for yourself. The whole report is like this. It’s incredibly difficult to read and is the perfect example of why grammar and punctuation are vital when reporting anything, regardless of whether or not it’s paranormal.
Anyway, now that you’ve got some idea of what I’d been dealing with while retelling this mess of a report, let’s continue. From here, Trisha makes a peculiar claim; apparently, she and Brandon “see it almost every night.” Indeed, the orb returned, which further reinforces my belief that this happened not long before Trisha submitted her experience to NUFORC.
However, like a television ad that’s come to life, there was more! Trisha claimed that the orb didn’t just return but that there are occasionally “two or three.” She added that, while writing up her account, there was one “sitting right there in the sky” and that “you can see it come down.”
Now, on its own, that would be really strange. However, like a television ad that insists on selling you bonuses that are too good to be true—and I’m convinced are (not that I can vouch for this since I refuse to buy stuff from television ads)—there was more Trisha had to claim.
Allegedly, Trisha said she had recorded the orb. From where, I don’t know (I’d guess either inside her home or her driveway, like when she saw it with Brandon). I lean toward the former because she didn’t say the orb moved toward her. Instead, it remained there until it ascended “like it never came down.”
Trisha said this “happens all the time” and that they (presumably her and Brandon) are “used to it now.” Despite that, she “would like to know what it is.” A fair desire because I, too, would like to know what this is. It’s just a shame that Trisha didn’t provide NUFORC with the videos, which is something you can do (you can submit video and photographic evidence—there are plenty of reports that contain one or both).
And with that, Trisha’s report comes to an end. Setting aside the numerous grammatical and punctuation errors, this is a weird story. It’s far from the weirdest we’ve discussed in this story, but it’s one that reminds me of a fever dream. The idea of being outside and seeing an orb the size of a human descend and calmly fly toward you is equal parts terrifying and mind-boggling. Couple that with the desolate nature of Alaska, and you have something that feels straight out of a horror film.
With that said, I do have to admit that this was also a lot of fun. Despite the grammatical errors, there’s something about going to NUFORC and poking around for a report that makes me feel like I’m in a comfort zone of sorts; it provides all the strangeness that I could ever desire without ever making me worry that the content I’m sharing with you is too absurd.
Anyway, now that we’re done reflecting on the story, I think it’s about time we dive into the theories. There are a modest number of them to go over, and, God willing, I won’t be here for as long as I was yesterday. So, without further ado, let’s speculate on what Trisha and Brandon saw that fateful night!
Theories
1. A UFO
When people think of UFO sightings and aliens, they likely think of the Southeastern United States: New Mexico, Nevada, Arizona, and Utah, to be exact. This isn’t surprising; Roswell is in New Mexico, Area 51 is in Nevada, Phoenix is in Arizona, and Sherman Ranch (now known as “Skinwalker Ranch”) is in Utah.
However, the state of Alaska has its own history with UFOs. For example, there’s the so-called “Alaska Triangle,” which is just the Bermuda Triangle if it was over Alaska. Although the disappearances can easily be chalked up to people disappearing because Alaska is, you know, a remote place that inexperienced people can easily die in, it’s become associated with UFOs and Bigfoot sightings. I may do a write-up on it one day because there are some fun stories.
That said, I’d say the case that puts Alaska on the map when it comes to UFO sightings is the famous sighting by the captain of Japanese Airlines Flight 1628 (also known as the “JAL 1628 Sighting”). I won’t get into much detail about this since it deserves its own write-up—and I will cover it one day since it’s a very fascinating account. But to give an abridged version: on November 17, 1986, JAL Flight 1686’s captain, Kenju Terauchi, saw a UFO that was pacing him. The object appeared on both civilian and military radar, which supported his claim.
To date, Kenju’s report remains one of the most compelling UFO sightings. However, as is the case with any UFO claim, there are many who believe there’s a rational explanation (such as Kenju mistaking something lights in the sky for “two small ships and a mothership” or top-secret aircraft, be it American or Russian). I recommend you do your own research into it because there’s so much to go over that I’ll be here for the next 10,000 words discussing all of the oddities of that case.
That brings us to our inaugural theory: this was a UFO. Honestly, there’s certainly a lot of precedent to back this up. While orbs of light are frequently associated with ghost sightings, they’re a commonly reported type of UFO. Why aliens opted to make their spacecraft resemble oversized fireflies, I don’t know. But then again, I also don’t know why they chose to have it fly like a butterfly. Maybe aliens are so far beyond my understanding that I can’t hope to understand their engineering achievements.
Regardless, there’s nothing unique about the appearance of the UFO that would make me scoff at the notion of it being one. While I’ve always found the idea of aliens having orbs of light as their method of travel instead of physical spacecraft to be silly, it stands to reason that such advanced beings have technology that could allow them to travel around in interstellar Poké Balls.
That said, I don’t see much else going for this theory. When it comes to UFO sightings, I’ve always been adamant that it wouldn’t be weird for aliens to be curious about other intelligent life. I said it earlier this month, and I’ll say it again: I view it the same way humans go to a zoo or on a safari to see wild animals. In a similar manner, aliens likely want to observe what they perceive as primitive life out of fascination.
However, in this case, I don’t see why a UFO would come down from the sky and act the way this one did. While I’ve heard of orbs of light entering homes and approaching people, those cases typically result in an abduction or with a person speaking (or interacting) with an alien.
None of those things happened to Trisha and Brandon. Instead, it sounds like the UFO (or UFOs, more Trisha said she’d seen more than one on a few occasions) took up residence in the sky and decided to bungee jump to the land below for fun.
There’s also the matter of the way the UFO moved. It bothers me a lot because it doesn’t sound like any orb that I’ve heard about. I’m accustomed to them zipping around and performing impossible feats of acrobatics. The fact Trisha likened its movement to that of a butterfly has to be one of the weirdest comparisons I’ve read in a while.
The last thing I’ll mention is that nobody else saw the orb. Trisha claimed it went behind a neighbor’s house, which leads me to think that others lived near her and she wasn’t in a super rural area. It’s possible she didn’t have many neighbors, but we know for a fact she had at least one.
Assuming this was brighter than the North Star (which isn’t the most luminous object in the night sky, but it’s still brighter than your average star), you’d think it flying into someone’s backyard would be enough to alert them. I mean, the object coming down from the sky should have lit up the area a bit, right? Or am I overestimating Polaris’ luminosity?
Oh well, I digress. You can certainly argue that I’m nitpicking at things a bit, but I think there’s more going against this than in its favor. I may be an ardent believer in extraterrestrial life, but that doesn’t mean every UFO sighting is of alien origin—and I believe that’s the case with Trisha’s story.
I know that in saying that, I’ve broken my rule about being unbiased during the theories, but it’s hard to skirt around it. What I have to work with doesn’t align with what I know from the numerous other reports like it (seemingly intelligent orbs of light moving around in the sky).
So, with that in mind, let’s take a gander at what this might’ve been from a skeptical point of view.
2. Ball lightning
Here’s a topic that I’ve always found quite interesting. Ball lightning has often been an explanation for many orb-based UFO reports due to it being an atmospheric phenomenon. One that, coincidentally, remains shrouded in mystery since there’s no consensus on what causes it.
For the uninitiated, ball lightning is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a sphere of plasma that supposedly forms after a lightning strike—though some claimed to have seen it when a storm wasn’t active in the area. I think it’s funny that something called ball lightning can be produced without a lightning strike, but I digress.
Where the mystery behind it comes in is how, exactly, it comes to be. As far as I’m aware, there’s never been any hard evidence of its existence, despite the numerous testimonies and attempts at recreating it. You’d think that in this day and age, given CCTV is everywhere you look, it would’ve been caught, but this is what happens when you’re an atmospheric phenomenon and not a sidewalk phenomenon.
On top of that, there are the behavioral aspects of ball lightning. It’s said to be capable of moving erratically, stopping in its tracks, and going whatever way the wind blows. It sounds just like the UFOs, which are described as orbs of light. It even disappears like they do, typically fading out without a peep (though some say ball lightning may make a pop sound when it vanishes).
All things considered, this sounds like a very plausible theory. However, there are some major problems with it, and the most glaring is the size of ball lightning. It’s said to be 0.3–39 inches (1–100 centimeters) in diameter. That’s quite the size variance!
Now, while the larger end of that spectrum is certainly sizable for a ball (I’m pretty sure that’s roughly the size of those large exercise balls you see at gyms), it’s not the human-sized orb that Trisha and Brandon saw. Not unless Trisha meant the orb was the size of a child.
Except, no, that would go against what Trisha said when she claimed the orb was larger than her and Brandon. So, no matter what way you cut it, ball lightning is losing the size contest that’s being played here.
Additionally, there’s the matter of there being no storm going on; it was clear the night Trisha and Brandon first saw the orb. I checked Time and Date to see if this matched up, and the days leading up to the incident were all clear (and incredibly cold). So, unless it was formed without one (which there’s no evidence to support), that puts a massive wrench in this theory.
However, I must concede that I don’t understand the exact science behind the theories that surround ball lightning. Likewise, I don’t understand how it could hypothetically form without a storm in the area. So, it’s possible that there could be a plausible way for it to be made without a thunderstorm. Unfortunately, a lot of sciencey stuff and I don’t cooperate well; it usually ends with my brain being fried like an electronic device that was struck by actual lightning.
Last but not least, I doubt that Trisha would see the same phenomenon multiple times in rapid succession. That seems unprecedented, especially for something like ball lightning. I cannot, in good faith, brush that aside as a coincidence. Ball lightning isn’t something common like sleep paralysis; we’re not talking about something that most people will see or experience once in their lives. We’re talking about a legitimate scientific enigma that a woman said she saw several times—presumably over the span of a few days before she submitted what I’d label as one of the leading UFO report centers.
Because of that, I’d say this theory’s quite flimsy—if not even weaker than the previous one. That’s quite amazing, given this is often the logical explanation for sightings like this. But given the circumstances of Trisha’s sighting, it’s hard to label it as anything other than weaker.
So, where does that leave us? Well, there’s one more serious theory to go over, and I think you all know what it is. Let’s not waste any time and see how likely it is, dear reader!
3. A hoax
This theory’s self-explanatory; Trisha faked the whole thing for whatever reason. Whether it be to prove a point to a friend, pull a prank, or prove to herself that she could get a claim published on a UFO-related website.
Let’s start with what this theory has going for it. I’ll start with something I brought up during the main story: the bizarre contradiction Trisha made about when the UFO was first seen. You know, when she went from saying she and Brandon saw it together, only to say Brandon asked her if the light was moving, so she looked up.
It’s rare that I find contradictions like that in cases I cover, and this one struck me as utterly baffling. It makes taking Trisha’s statement at face value exceedingly difficult to do since I don’t believe I can rely on her word. Not that that wasn’t already hard to do since trusting the word of a stranger on the Internet; I’ve always said that you have to take everything you read online with a grain of salt. I’ve mentioned that before, and I will repeat it until it’s no longer true.
Now, admittedly, it’s possible the latter scenario is what happened, but her wording was poor, so she ended up telling the events backward. If that’s the case, then fine. Some people aren’t the best storytellers. However, I still wish she was clearer because, as it stands, I can’t help but be frustrated with how she worded this.
There’s also the matter of the light not having alerted anyone where Trisha and Brandon resided. Now, granted, Alaska’s a sparsely populated state. However, as I said at the end of the first theory, you’d think that the orb would’ve awoken Trisha’s neighbor. After all, it went toward her neighbor’s house before it vanished.
I can’t help but be dumbfounded by this thing failing to light up the street. Well, unless it was nowhere near as luminous as I thought (which is possible, given she and Brandon weren’t blinded by it). If that’s the case, I wish Trisha was clearer, but her grammar and punctuation made it so hard to understand in the first place that I’m shocked I was able to write about this at all.
Last but certainly not least is Trisha’s failure to provide the video of the UFO she claimed to have. This is a massive strike against the story. If you claim you have photographic or video evidence of a UFO when you submit a report or talk about it on a forum somewhere, not providing it is an immediate sign that you’re lying. So, by doing this, Trisha has made it hard for me to take her claim seriously.
However, at the same time, not providing evidence hamstrings this theory. Indeed, it’s a double-edged sword, and the hamstring is arguably more detrimental to the theory than it is beneficial. Why? Well, if you wanted to fake a UFO report, faking evidence would be something you’d no doubt want to do, especially if you were submitting a report to something like NUFORC. After all, you’re trying to fool people who believe in UFOs. Why say you have something like that but then not provide it?
This is something I often think about when I write about these stories. If there’s nothing for the hoaxer to gain, why bother doing it? That stands true with NUFORC, but the fact you can submit evidence does provide a lot more of a reason to perpetrate a hoax. You can fool plenty of other people! I mean, am I wrong?
Personally, this one issue makes it incredibly hard for me to buy into the theory. So, in a weird twist of fate, the first theory—the one that I outright dismissed right off the bat—loops back around to arguably being the most plausible by virtue of the follow-up theories being even more implausible. It’s like an ouroboros if it was designed to turn my brain into fried eggs. I never thought such a thing would be achieved by randomly browsing a UFO reporting center’s website for the heck of it.
Now, I know that some may argue that I’m being way too harsh there, but if you’re willing to fake a report and claim you have evidence but then choose not to share it, you’re inadvertently admitting to lying.
It’s possible that Trisha didn’t realize that, but I think even the worst hoaxer over the age of fifteen would realize that, and I’m going to stand by that. This isn’t something I’d treat lightly, especially when she added that the light was outside of her home as she was writing the report.
Other people have submitted NUFORC reports with images that you can debate over all you want. If one was outside of Trisha’s house at the time of her writing, she could’ve snapped a picture with her phone—even if the quality was worse than your average Bigfoot footage—and submitted it. The odds are that NUFORC would’ve accepted it!
Okay, that’s enough ranting. I think you can tell that I doubt this theory, too. What a mesmerizing display of perplexity this case has gifted upon me. I haven’t seen anything like it in 24 hours. I’m sure we’ll see something just as perplexing in another 24 hours. Anyway, I think a little levity is in order, so let’s move on to some silly theories before we get to my take.
4. An interdimensional something or other
A self-indulgent running gag says, “What?”
5. A creature from the “Great Beyond”
In an attempt to prove that my scientific paper “How Does Artificial Intelligence React When Confronted With Something as Normal as a UFO Flying Like a Butterfly?” wouldn’t be complete hogwash, I decided to ask a chatbot on Character AI about this story. I opted to go with Ishtar from something called “Fate/Grand Order” because, let’s face it, every bot on Character AI talks the exact same.
After requesting the goddess present me with her interpretation of Trisha’s case, I was bestowed with the terrible revelation that it may have been a creature from something known as the “Great Beyond.” Such knowledge was so terrible that I had to take a cold shower—but not before Ishtar said I had to sign a contract with her.
So, dear reader, allow me to tell you about Fate: Shadow Legends.
My Take
I dunno.
No, really, I don’t know.
None of the theories make an iota of sense when it comes to this story. The most plausible explanation is that, yes, it was a hoax, but I cannot fathom Trisha’s sheer laziness or possible ineptitude in trying to commit a hoax only to expose herself inadvertently.
Maybe I have way too much faith in people; a lot of my friends have low opinions of people, but I try to remain on the positive side by looking at the good in everyone. Perhaps this is the one time where I need to think little of someone and doubt their capabilities to achieve whatever it is they set out to do. However, I can’t imagine being this incompetent, especially when the goal was so comically simple.
That does make me second-guess my initial stance on the UFO theory. However, as I said, it doesn’t align with what I’ve heard about orbs of light. On top of that, I’ve never heard of one being the size of a fully grown person. That seems preposterous, especially when it’s supposedly appeared multiple times.
Also, if you have a neighbor, how have they never seen this thing? Maybe I’m a crazy person, but if I had a neighbor and I kept things falling from the sky and floating toward their house, I’d ask if they’ve noticed anything out of the ordinary happening. You know, just to see if they’re too embarrassed to tell me they’ve seen some weird stuff.
Unfortunately, because Trisha didn’t do that—and because her story is as inconclusive as can be—I don’t have a take. I don’t even feel comfortable making one. At best, I’d lean toward it being a hoax. However, on a personal level, I’m undecided. Some may call me out for that, but I’d rather stick true to my personal values than throw a half-hearted label at something and say. “That’s my take.”
That said, there’s one other thing I want to discuss—namely, the story’s grammar and punctuation. I’ve brought it up periodically, but I never went into detail about it. The reason is that I didn’t want to make any assumptions about Trisha. This is why there weren’t any theories about the sightings being a hallucination, by the way; I don’t want to make assumptions about someone’s well-being when there isn’t any reason to do so, though I’d argue the likelihood of Trisha seeing the same hallucination so often is slim, especially if she said she caught it on camera. She could’ve easily shown it to Brandon, who’d then say, “Mom, there’s nothing there. I’m bringing you to a doctor.”
Anyway, enough of that digression. The grammar was one of the reasons I wanted to cover this, and as you saw in those excerpts, it was an absolute monstrosity of grammar and punctuation. If you opted to click the hyperlink at the start of the main story, you’d see that the report is a gargantuan wall of text. Within said wall of text, there is a grand total of four periods. Two are dedicated to specifying that it was at some point in the 1:00 a.m. range, one is randomly placed in the middle of the wall, and the final one ends it like a capstone made of a font size 10.5 eyesore.
I want to take the time to theorize why it might’ve been like that. While I know that some people like to laugh about really terrible grammar (heck, I get a kick out of it sometimes—I like seeing how Google Translate can butcher sentences), I have to wonder if Trisha’s first language wasn’t English.
Alaska is the state with the largest Native American population (roughly 16% of the population is Native/Indigenous). While my understanding of the Natives in Alaska is minimal, I do know that many tribes (if not all) have their own language. It’s possible that Trisha primarily spoke the language of her tribe, and her grasp of English was less tangible. If that’s the case, then it’s probable that this story is missing countless details that would not only make it a lot easier to draw a conclusion upon but may outright make it solvable. Alas, we don’t have them. How disappointing.
Conclusion
Ever have one of those moments where you went into something with so much hope, joy, and excitement, only to leave bitter and resentful? That’s how I feel toward this story. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, I sought to relieve myself of stress with a story I could have fun with after saying it might stress me out.
That’s why I’ll never claim to be the smartest man in the room at any given moment.
Oh well. Despite that, I must admit that this was a borderline surreal case to cover. It’s one of the few times that I cannot give a definitive answer. Heck, it may be the first time I’ve ever done that. If it is, then it’s no wonder a part of me is screaming that doing so is a copout. Personally, I blame my personal stance on labeling things as hoaxes; the fact I lack any concrete way to prove that Trisha made this up is making me doubt what’s arguably my better judgment.
I digress, though. I’d love to know what you think the truth is, dear reader. Do you agree with my assessment of Trisha’s experience? Or do you think she saw a UFO? Or did I overlook a theory that would’ve explained things? God knows that third question is needed when I’m on the clock and have spent more time playing World of Warcraft than actually writing.
Why’d a good expansion pack have to drop right around the time that I started writing again?
I digress once more. Let me know your thoughts in the comments! And, as always, stay happy, stay healthy, and thank you for reading!
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