Have you ever had one of those days when you didn’t want to do something, but you knew you had to do it because if you didn’t do it, you’d feel like a sloth? That’s me as I type this. As of writing, I got done with the previous Decemystery entry, and a part of me wants to do little more than slack off by playing a Pokémon ROM hack. Maybe Renegade Platinum; I’d like to do a playthrough where none of my Pokémon faint.
Alas, not writing will make me feel irritated at myself for being lazy. As such, I must continue the grind; I need to write more. Some may say that it’s unhealthy to push myself to write when I want to take a break. I concur, but I have a secret weapon to get the best of both worlds. It’s called “making sure the upcoming stories are easy enough to write so I don’t stress myself out.” By doing this, I won’t exhaust myself, and I can also have the time of my life without worrying about overworking myself.
I attribute this tactical move to Douglas MacArthur, who I’m pretty sure once said something along the lines of, “Duty, honor, country, write about simple things to make life easy.” I’m pretty sure he said that before the infamous Battle of Time Constraints.
Anyway, now that you know my mindset for today’s write-up, let’s get down to business. While I may be in the mood to slack off, I’ve had my heart set on today’s story because it was one that I was really eager to cover from the get-go. Then, when I was reading it over, I realized something rather bizarre.
I’d picked out the wrong story.
Indeed, when I was making a Google Document of links for stories I’d cover, I’d mistakenly copied the wrong one (likely due to being half asleep since I often gather stories before I go to bed) and hyperlinked it. However, upon reviewing the story, I found that it was far more than adequate for this month.
As for the other story, I’m sure I’ll find it again one day. Who knows, maybe while writing about this mystery, I’ll have stumbled across it again and worked it into the schedule. It’s not like there have been several stories that I’ve already scrapped due to not feeling like writing about them.
I digress, though. Yesterday, I briefly mentioned sightings of children seeing gremlins. Today, we’ll be talking about one such incident. Come along, dear reader; it’s time for us to head to the Land Down Under and investigate the mystery of The Brisbane Gremlin!
Don’t Feed Them After Midnight
I found today’s story on About. Yes, after a week of not visiting the archives of my new favorite hunting ground, we’re returning to it. However, after today, we’ll be on another hiatus from it. Don’t worry; there are still some stories lined up from there.
Now, this story was submitted by a man named Chris back in May of 2008 under the name “Brisbane Gremlin.” However, the actual event took place in 1982, so we’re dealing with a 26-year gap. If I wanted to, I could jump to a conclusion right now, but I won’t. I’ll be a patient gentleman.
Anyway, as the name implies, Chris’s experience took place in Brisbane, Australia. For those who don’t know, Brisbane is on the east coast of Australia; it’s the capital of the state of Queensland. It’s also here where I realize that this is the first story I’ve ever done from Australia. How has it taken me six years to do that?
Digressions aside, Chris—who was 14 at the time (making him 40 when he submitted this case)—said that his parents and baby brother had a weekly ritual. This ritual was to go out shopping, leaving Chris at home “in an old Queenslander that had been semi-renovated.” I had no idea what this was, but Wikipedia says it’s a type of residential housing. I’m guessing it’s Australian slang that my American mind cannot wrap around because I thought it was a large mobile home at first.
I won’t get into the specifics that Chris laid out about the architecture because, honestly, none of them are important. The only other things that are worth noting are that it was 11:30 a.m. and that “there was a door that could be closed from the kitchen to the living area in the house.” Beyond that, Chris had been tasked with a bunch of chores. He had to clean the house, do the laundry, and then hang it up outside. How exhilarating! When I wished that stories from About had more detail, I didn’t mean in this way. I suppose the Monkey’s Paw curled when I kept complaining about it.
Getting through a bunch of the unnecessary fat of the story, Chris placed a vacuum cleaner in the corner of the kitchen between two benches (I have no idea how this kitchen is laid out, and I don’t think I want to know). After that, he retrieved some laundry to hang outside. Upon returning to the backdoor (which he’d locked prior to going outside), he spotted something most peculiar.
Crouched behind the vacuum was “a little black creature.” And boy, oh boy, this thing looked weird. I’m also pretty sure its neck was turned 180 degrees because Chris said, and I fully quote him here, “Its body was facing out toward the door that led into the living area of the house, but its head was turned and facing me at the back door [sic].”
Look, I’ll be honest: I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I have no idea what the layout of Chris’s house looks like. Even though I didn’t lay it out for you guys, I kept re-reading it, and I couldn’t make heads or tails of anything. Again, the Monkey’s Paw screwed me over.
Anyway, let’s get back to what this thing looked like. According to Chris, the creature’s arms were “long and thin,” and its “finger rested on the floor.” I’m going to hazard a guess and say he made a typo there because if this thing had one finger, all I can envision is a humanoid version of Mononykus, but with lengthier arms.
Comparisons to dinosaurs aside, Chris added that the creature’s “elbows bent.” It also sported eyes that “were big and yellow” and had “ears that went just above its head,” along with an oval-shaped head. The more Chris describes this thing, the more I’m convinced he saw Arnold from Hey Arnold! But I’m guessing he means that it was vertically oval (which is a head shape) and not horizontally oval.
On a more serious—and confusing—note, Chris added that while its head was oval-shaped, it “was not distorted.” I’m not sure what he meant by this. If he means it didn’t appear deformed, I wish he’d worded it as such because all I’m imagining is a Snapchat filter being applied in the real world.
Adding to this, Chris said that the creature looked like it was “naked” and was “black and smooth looking.” It was also slender and had a bad akin to a human, but he “could tell it was not.” I can’t imagine what gave it away. Personally, I’d say the terrifyingly long arms are the first indicator that it’s not human, but maybe the large, yellow eyes are what did it in for you, bud.
The last thing I’ll state about this thing’s appearance is that Chris claimed it had “no distinguishing physical features.” Now, given he said this after the part where the creature was naked, I’m guessing that he meant it lacked genitalia. However, given he didn’t specify that, I’m going to substitute common sense with my own interpretation and say that Chris didn’t think anything he just described constituted “distinguishing physical features.”
My grievances about Chris’s wording aside, this does sound like a gremlin, at least to an extent. While my understanding of Gremlins stems solely from the first Gremlins film (see the header image; also, I never finished watching the sequel as a kid), I think it resembles one enough. The only issue I have is that we’re not given much detail on how tall it was. All we know is that it was little and slender, and its arms reached the ground.
That said, if we abide by the aforementioned film of the same name, a Gremlin would be around 2 feet (just under 61 centimeters) tall. I’m guessing if it extended its arms upward, it would’ve added a few feet, though.
Moving on from that, the duo stared at each other. Chris said it “just crouched there” and looked like “it had been caught off guard.” Then, after “a few seconds” of having a staring contest, the strange little fiend got up, jumped over the vacuum, and headed “through the door that led into the living area[.]” This was why that one detail about the door between the kitchen and living area was important. I find it a bit odd that there’s a door between the two, but I’m going to guess it’s a Queenslander thing.
Anyway, Chris—unsurprisingly—was scared out of his wits and remained near the backdoor. In fact, he was so scared that he “did not know whether to go inside or not.” Finally, after “what felt like a couple of minutes,” Chris stepped into his home and grabbed “a large carving knife” from a drawer. Sweet, I always wanted a Predator film set in Australia. Though, I think it’s just known as “the local wildlife” down there. Can any Australian readers confirm this for me?
After retrieving the Level 14 Carving Knife of the Folkloric Slayer, Chris began searching for the gremlin. According to him, he “knew that the creature could not get out of the house” because “the front door was locked and bolted with a safety chain.” This is a fascinating detail that I’ll circle back to for the first theory, so keep it in mind.
Although the front door was locked, Chris’s search proved fruitless. He said he “walked slowly through every room in the house” and searched each cupboard. Despite this, there was no sign of the gremlin; it had vanished into thin air. This is yet another piece of evidence that cryptids are all trained masters in the art of disappearing.
Eventually, Chris gave up and “waited on the back steps” until his parents arrived home from the oh-so-wonderful activity that was “shopping.” Presumably, he didn’t have the carving knife on him, or his parents would’ve likely freaked out, but I digress. Chris told his folks about what had happened and noted that he suspected the gremlin might’ve been trying to do something with the vacuum.
To my surprise, Chris said that his father went ahead and inspected the vacuum. Maybe I’m a bit pessimistic, but if someone said they saw a 2-foot-tall black creature with abnormally large ears tinkering with their vacuum, I’d ask them why a garden gnome was their sleep-paralysis demon.
Once the inspection of the vacuum was finished, Chris’s father said that it was fine. This led to Chris’s parents believing that Chris was pissed about having to clean. Whether or not he got in trouble, I don’t know. What I do know is that Chris remained (and I assume remains) adamant that what he saw was real and that “it lives with [him] every day.”
That, dear reader, is where Chris’s story concludes. Honestly, that might be the first case from About that feels like it has a proper conclusion; it didn’t feel like a smash cut to the credits. I genuinely appreciate that because there are several cases like that that I’ve passed over; I might bring them up in a future write-up when I’m not on the clock and when I can find them again. No, I didn’t put them into a Google Document like others. Why would I? I didn’t think of this until just now.
Anyway, with the story now told, it’s time for us to dive into the theories. There are a respectable number of them—as is the norm for cases I find on About. So, rather than sit here and yap, let’s see what the Land Down Under has to offer us in the way of theories—and discover if it’s just as strange as Chris’s experience!
Theories
1. A cryptid
I want to preface this theory by saying that I’ve used the term “cryptid” very liberally on this blog. However, I do since I don’t want to have a theory like this be, “A creature of 20th-century folklore circa World War II that came to life.” Let’s face it: reading that would undoubtedly cause some readers to scroll to the next theory.
Now that you understand my mindset, let me give you all a little history lesson. As stated above, gremlins are not cryptids. No, they’re folkloric beings that were blamed for malfunctions and issues with airplanes in the early 20th century. This inspiration led to one of William Shatner’s most famous lines in his long career: “There’s a man out there!”
Despite them being legends, reports of gremlins do exist—albeit not in the way their legendary counterparts exist. For example, Midnight Broadcast, a YouTube channel that uses text-to-speech to read scary stories from websites like 4chan, made a video that features one.
If you don’t want to listen to the video, here’s a quick summary. A 4chan user said he saw some skinny, greenish-grey-skinned humanoids rummaging through some trashcans. He got it with a pellet gun, though it didn’t bleed. Instead, it shrieked, and the group of “gremlins” began hurling trash at the guy. This led him to retreat inside.
So, what does this have to do with anything? Well, that’s simple: labeling this a cryptid when it’s called a “gremlin” isn’t correct. However, the story is called “The Brisbane Gremlin.” Because of that, I’ll still refer to it as a gremlin for the sake of consistency. It’s also what Chris titled his report, so I’d rather respect what he thinks it was and not cast it aside; my history lesson was meant for you guys and not to lecture Chris (even though the odds of him reading this write-up are astronomically slim).
So, with that little bit of history and setup done, let’s get to the theory. It’s simple, right? The idea is that Chris saw a small, humanoid cryptid of some sort; we’ve been down Cryptid Avenue a bunch of times on this blog!
Yeah, this isn’t Cryptid Avenue. This is closer to the road that takes you to Raccoon City.
Let me start by addressing a fault of my own: I don’t know that many kinds of humanoid cryptids (or, in some cases, “cryptids”). I know of the most common ones: Pale Crawlers, Fleshgaits (erroneously known as Skinwalkers), Deer Men (which, I think, are what people mistakenly refer to as the Wendigo), the countless Bigfoot variants, gnomes, and the numerous different types of extraterrestrials.
However, when it comes to the mischievous pint-sized humanoids, my knowledge is iffy at best. Believe me when I say that writing about these cases is as much of a learning experience for me as it may be for you—and finding the proper amount of time to gather information on these stories while also making sure I don’t fall behind schedule is a nightmarish task.
Lucky for me, I own physical copies of Albert Rosales’ Humanoid Encounters series. Unfortunately for me, I’ve yet to read them. I’ve been meaning to, but the brain fog I had from my at-the-time untreated bipolar rendered me unable to read them without feeling like what I was reading wasn’t being registered. I recall a few of the cases in there, but none of them remind me of this.
I contemplated skimming through a few pages to see if I could find similar stories to this one, but I opted against it since I think it wouldn’t be fair to Chris’s story. His story is a firsthand account, while the stories in Rosales’ books can be secondhand, thirdhand, or from Pliney the Elder, who I’m pretty sure qualifies as a sixty-fourth hand.
At the most, I know there are more than a few featuring shadowy people. Normally, shadow people are associated with ghosts or sleep paralysis, but there are some who claim to see them in the waking world. Theories abound as to what they are, ranging from demons to interdimensional entities that have somehow gained access to our universe.
There are also numerous ones involving small, mischievous humanoids. Some are rooted in the realm of folklore—like the Duende (which I’ve mentioned a few times this month already)—while others are rooted in the realm of the supernatural (funnily enough, that also applies to the Duende).
That may seem like it’d work in this theory’s favor, but it doesn’t. In fact, it’s a massive detriment. Why? Because those creatures are seldom thought to be cryptids. Rather, they fall under the category of something called “Zooforms.” I brought them up twice last year when I called Boneless and The Vampire Caterpillar of Scotland. Funnily enough, despite the write-up on Boneless being posted first, I said I’d “never heard” of Zooforms in the latter write-up. That goes to show you I wrote things at pure random last year and assigned random dates to them.
Also, if you’re curious, no, I won’t correct it. I think it’s funny to see my inconsistencies on display like that.
Anyway, what are Zooforms? Well, they’re supernatural beings that look like animals but aren’t. This means that creatures like Fleshgaits aren’t cryptids. The same goes for vampires and countless mischievous, small humanoids that are the stuff of legends (like the aforementioned Duende).
As you can plainly tell, getting this theory to stand on steady ground is difficult. Every time I go to set it up, something comes along to make it tumble down. So, you may be wondering why I don’t overlook that. After all, there are undoubtedly easy ways to have this creature be a cryptid, right?
Well, yeah, in some ways. However, Chris said it disappeared. Cryptids don’t disappear. They’re not ghosts; contrary to what the Internet may tell you, cryptids are, in fact, bound by the laws of physics. They don’t go poof like a specter.
That said, there are two ways that the gremlin could have disappeared. Although Chris said the front door was locked, it could have snuck out the backdoor. The reason for this is quite simple: Chris never specified that he locked the backdoor, nor did he say if it was creaky or prone to producing any other type of noise.
If we’re to assume the creature fled into the living area, it’s possible it circled around, making sure to stay out of sight, and snuck out the backdoor when Chris was on the opposite side of the house. Alternatively, it could have fled when he was upstairs (if there was an upstairs to his home). Either one works since Chris decided to check every cupboard; if this thing was fleet-footed and the backdoor wasn’t noisy, it could’ve just walked out.
Alternatively, it could’ve escaped through a window. Chris never specified that the windows were shut. While Australia’s known to be a warm country, I don’t see why he couldn’t have had a window open if it was a pleasant day outside. However, if there were screens on the windows, this possibility would go right out of the fuselage door.
What? Did you think I’d say “window” a fifth time in that paragraph? Nonsense; four times is acceptable, but five times is too much!
That said, there’s one issue with this idea. While it does make the gremlin sound like a cryptid of some sort, it doesn’t explain how it got into Chris’s house. Common sense would dictate it snuck in at some point, but how does a 2-foot-tall humanoid sneak in without being seen? It’s not like Chris kept the backdoor open when he went outside; Chris said he locked it. So, unless this thing picked the lock without being heard or seen and then locked the door from the inside, that seems highly unlikely.
The only way this could work is if it was living inside the house in a cupboard without being discovered. That’s not implausible; people have done that before. I recall a story from Japan where a homeless woman lived in a man’s cupboard after she broke in. But the difference here is that she was eventually discovered when the man set up a security camera after food went missing. This thing, apparently, didn’t do anything until Chris caught it near a vacuum.
Now, granted, it’s possible that Chris misremembered whether he’d locked the door or not. As I said at the start of the story, there’s a 26-year gap between when this occurred and when the incident was written about. The odds of the details being perfect are so slim that I’d sooner bet on Donnie Iris running for President of the United States.
Suffice it to say, this theory—despite it sounding like the most obvious one from the outside—has a large amount going against it. In fact, I never intended for this theory to be so long. It just so happened that my mind began piling on things that worked against it. I’m sure some will be unhappy with that, and I fully get it, but I don’t want to propose that reality can be substituted with fantasy. If facts are at odds with what something, I’m going to say so.
This theory is a prime example of that.
Of course, it’s possible that I’m missing something. Maybe if I refreshed my knowledge of cryptozoology, I’d realize that this could’ve been a cryptid. However, as it stands, what Chris experienced doesn’t align with one.
Then again, you can argue that I should have excluded this as such, but given that people have labeled gremlins as cryptids—and that the Cryptid Wiki has a page on them—I thought it was worth including. So, I do apologize if this theory was not only long but seemed like a write-up in and of itself. Don’t worry, though; the theories from here on out will be much shorter—I hope.
2. An alien
Encounters with extraterrestrials—whether they be inside one’s home or outdoors—can be the epitome of “high strangeness.” I won’t hyperlink the numerous examples of such stories on this blog because I did that in the intro for The 8-Foot-Tall Alien of Fort Wayne, and doing it again would grate on my nerves. However, if you want to look for yourself, just look through the UFO/Aliens tag. Trust me, you’ll see a lot of things that sound like I made it up.
This theory relies on that oddness to work, and I think it has a bit working in its favor. However, most of the stories that would help back it up are ones I’ve not covered for one reason or another. I’ll name one of them, though, and give a very quick summary of it; I have no desire to have any of the following theories be as long as the previous one.
The story in question is The Kelly-Hopkinsville Encounter, also known by several other names that are basically the same name. I love it when that happens. Anyway, this incident occurred between August 21–August 22, 1955, “in the communities of Kelly and Hopkinsville, Kentucky.” Overnight, five adults and two children claimed that their home was besieged and broken into by goblin-like extraterrestrials.
Anyway, to make a long and very controversial story short, a gunfight ensued between those in the house and the supposed aliens. Both sides lost, while I’m sure the insurance company won because I doubt they were covering the holes left by the gunfire. Meanwhile, I doubt the aliens were happy about not only being spotted by Earthlings but being shot at.
This story’s been on my radar since the earliest days of this blog’s existence, but it’s one I’m hesitant about covering because it’s one of the most widely recognized alien encounter stories—and one that I’m adamant would leave me with accelerated hair loss.
Nevertheless, it does indicate one thing—if we view it as real and not as a hoax or case of misidentification (both of which are leading theories)—and that’s that the story showcases that aliens have been alleged to break into homes to cause mischief. The so-called “Hopkinsville Goblins,” as they’ve been nicknamed, were said to yank on people’s hair and sneak around the house.
Additionally, their supposed appearance resembles the figure Chris saw; the Wikipedia entry also mentioned how some ufologists have noted their resemblance to gremlins. Take a look at a rendering of them below.
As a random fun fact, the Hopkinsville Goblins were, apparently, the inspiration for the Pokémon Sableye (see below). According to Bulbapedia, the Hopkinsville Goblins garnered a lot of popularity in Japan, leading them to appear in various pieces of media. Personally, I think that’s cool.
The first is that there were no lights or UFOs seen around the area before, during, or after Chris’s encounter. While not a requirement for this to have been an alien, I find it difficult to imagine that an alien simply disappeared without some degree of help. After all, aliens—like cryptids—aren’t ghosts. They aren’t capable of pulling a hat trick and vanishing.
Now, in all fairness, this is an issue that I have. It’s not one that every person’s going to have. In fact, you can argue that it directly contradicts my philosophy about aliens visiting Earth to observe us the same way we observe wild animals. So, you could say the alien’s UFO was parked elsewhere and was cloaked.
However, I’d still take ire with the alien being inside of a supposedly locked house. Usually, when aliens visit someone and abduct them, they’re said to have come down through a beam of light. Somehow, this lets them go through solid objects. I think they’re hacking, but that’s just me.
Alternatively, you could say the UFO was in the vicinity, but it was either cloaked or Chris didn’t see it. I could believe that, but you’d think someone would’ve noticed something odd because Brianane’s population circa 1982 was 1,176,000. Unless Chris lived on the outskirts of the city, I’m a bit iffy about this. I don’t think anyone’s going to be missing a UFO in the sky, let alone one that’s beaming an alien up.
A third possibility is that the alien’s UFO was on autopilot and was parked above Chris’s house, cloaked and awaiting its pilot’s return. This is honestly me grasping at straws, but I thought it would be worth noting because I have absolutely no other idea how an alien could’ve gotten into Chris’s home without alien technology that isn’t of my own creation.
The second issue with this theory is another personal one, but it’s hard for me to ignore: Why the heck was this thing there?
Now, I know I already spoke of my reasoning behind aliens visiting Earth, but this doesn’t strike me as “aliens observing humans out of curiosity.” This thing was in a corner, and it looked like it was examining (if not trying to disassemble) a vacuum cleaner. That’s not something I’d expect an alien to do unless it was a comedy bit straight out of Invader Zim.
Does that mean it immediately invalidates the theory? No, absolutely not. You can argue that extraterrestrials of this species are unfamiliar with vacuums for whatever reason; perhaps it’s an ancient piece of technology that this being had never seen and only heard or read about. I’m sure that many people born in Generation Alpha would be mystified if they saw a telegraph machine and would have no idea how to operate one. Likewise, this could be said for this alien.
However, in my eyes, it seems like a rather bizarre thing to latch onto, especially if you traveled countless light-years to visit Earth. If I were an alien and I wanted to see our technology, I’d likely observe a busy highway, an airport, a subway, or something else.
Of course, this requires the aliens to have cloaking technology. I’ve always thought that UFOs had that—it would stand to reason they do. Cloaking technology’s feasible, and if extraterrestrials are capable of interstellar travel, there’s no reason to suspect they can’t cloak their aircraft.
Likewise, it’d stand to reason that they’d be able to conceal themselves. However, hiding in a busy subway or near an airport would be extremely difficult, given you’re likely to be bumped into. Unless aliens can take on the guise of a human, though, I’m sure you’d run into the problem of being singled out as suspicious for standing around and not going anywhere.
Also, this is a bit of a digression, but I don’t understand the need to change your appearance so you look like another species. If your species is capable of the technological marvels that are flying saucers and other UFOs, being like Jason Bourne and blending into a crowd seems pointless. Surely, you’d have hyper-advanced radar technology and audio detection equipment to record all you need from the comfort of your UFO, right? Heck, you’d likely even have the ability to see through walls with something.
I digress, though; that’s way off-topic, but I wanted to bring it up since it’s always been a bit of a pet peeve of mine. I made my point earlier, though, so let’s end this theory since it’s become rather lengthy.
Ultimately, I can’t deny that there is an argument to be made that this was an extraterrestrial. That genuinely surprises me because, when I first thought about it, I scoffed at the idea since it didn’t sound like an alien. However, once I recalled the Kelly-Hopkinsville Incident and looked over the render of the supposed goblins, I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. Sure, that case was almost certainly mass hysteria, but the similarities are uncanny.
That said, the issues this theory holds are hard to look past. Yes, they may be very much “me” issues on many levels, but when discussing aliens, I firmly believe you can’t have them be these hyper-intelligent beings that have mastered interstellar travel but are too stupid to have the foresight to account for people being around. It’s one or the other, and if it’s the latter, there’s no way they can travel across the cosmos without crashing into every space rock they see.
In short, I’m not saying it was aliens, but it may have been aliens. Now, on to the next theory!
3. An interdimensional being
Okay, so if you’ve been keeping up with this year’s Decemystery, you’ll know I want to use this theory in all 32 write-ups for no good reason. That’s led it to be more of a meme theory than anything serious.
That isn’t the case here.
If I’m honest, this is easily one of the strongest theories—if we’re to assume what Chris saw was unexplainable. The reason? Well, if this thing momentarily appeared due to our reality overlapping with another, it’d explain how it got inside a locked house before disappearing. It appeared without realizing it’d crossed into another universe, ran off, and that, somehow, led it back to its own world.
It’s also possible that the creature was intelligent and had arrived there of its own volition. Why, exactly, it opted to appear in a random guy’s house and then gawk at a vacuum cleaner is beyond me, but maybe it needed something from it to repair something back home. It’s the interdimensional equivalent of John Titor, but more believable because the gremlin didn’t make nonsensical predictions.
Now, admittedly, I’m not the most well-versed individual on interdimensional beings, multidimensional creatures, and all of that other stuff. I won’t self-aggrandize myself and tout my non-existent credentials; I’m a very simple man sharing the things he’s read about in his life with others. However, I have to admit that this theory explains everything the previous two failed to.
Nevertheless, I will still point out its largest shortcoming: The gremlin vanished rather quickly. Again, I’m not some maestro when it comes to interdimensional stuff; I will never claim to be. However, if we’re being realistic, it sounds like this thing appeared and disappeared very quickly.
The only way I can see this being explained away is if Chris was hanging up laundry for longer than I figured. He never specified how much Chris had to set out to dry, so it’s possible he was out there for a few minutes—and he might’ve taken a moment to take a breather.
Now, if the gremlin came here on its own, that raises another issue. Namely, what did it use? If it’d kept some teleportation device in the living area that was out of Chris’s sight, you’d think it would’ve made a sound or emitted some light. However, as far as we know, Chris never heard or saw anything to indicate either happened.
This would be remarkably bizarre, given you’d think a teleportation device of some sort would produce a fair amount of noise. I’m not saying I’d expect it to be on par with a jet engine (which is 140–153 decibels) or a NASCAR race (which is roughly 120 decibels), but I’d still expect it to be somewhat noisy.
Additionally, and to the best of my knowledge, everything emits some sort of light. While some things emit light that isn’t visible to the human eye (said objects are known as “non-luminous objects”), I doubt a teleportation device would fall under such a category. But, hey, if it’s hyper-advanced technology, it’s possible the light is far beyond our comprehension.
I also highly doubt the noise and light would’ve been concealed while Chris was outside. Sound from within a structure isn’t stopped just because you’re outside of it; if that were the case, I wouldn’t hear planes as they fly over my home, and every room would be deafeningly quiet. As for light, I think that speaks for itself. It’s light. While some things can stop light, I doubt an open living room has enough in there to prevent it from traveling in whatever direction it can go. Well, unless what I said in the previous paragraph applies to this theory, and the light’s not visible to us.
I digress, though; I’ll stop before I start talking in circles. There are undoubtedly other flaws I can pick at, like the controversial nature of interdimensional travelers. That’s something I’ve largely overlooked this month, and it’s because I’d rather discuss it in a story where a human supposedly went to another universe instead of ours being visited by a strange being.
Ultimately, I think this theory is plausible, though I’m also a bit biased because I believe there are other realities out there. However, I don’t think it came here of its own accord. Even if the technology it used was way more subtle, it didn’t act like it was here willingly. But, hey, I understand if you disagree; this concept isn’t for everyone. That’s why I include skeptical theories, too. However, we’ve got one more supernatural possibility to cover before we get to those, so let’s take a gander at it.
4. A spirit of some sort
Okay, I really need to preface something here. I know that this is the second one, but this one is really major: I know absolutely nothing about the culture of the Aboriginal people of Australia. Like, I know absolutely nothing. In fact, I know virtually nothing about Australia or Australian culture. The most I know about Australia is its terrifying wildlife, Uluru, the nightmarish story of Ivan Milat, Hugh Jackman, and Will Power.
Because of that, it’s hard for me to talk about this theory with any regard to the Aboriginal people of Australia; I have no idea if they’re known for mischievous spirits like many other cultures around the world. I think I heard about one while listening to a greentext story compilation, but that was years ago. I doubt I can find it in any meaningful amount of time. All I remember is it was something about a malevolent entity that Aboriginals said would kidnap children. They lived across the water or something like that.
Oh, whatever; if I ever find it, I’ll hopefully remember to hyperlink it here. If I don’t, then someone can comment and remind me to stop being lazy.
Anyway, because I’d rather not make broad assumptions about a culture I know nothing about, I’ll go play it safe. That’s the exact opposite of what I’d like to do, but such is life. Also, I don’t want to sit here and wonder, “what if?” for the remainder of this write-up.
Luckily, spirits have a wide variety of types. They can be anything from the souls of the restless dead to the Fae. I discussed the latter earlier this month, and I still don’t understand them. From what I know, they’re these interdimensional beings or spirits that are prone to mischief and messing with humans who enter the forest. Some are far crueler than others and relish harming us.
In the case of the former, I sincerely doubt it. The gremlin doesn’t sound like a normal ghost in the slightest. I don’t know if ghosts can take on the appearance of someone else, but if they can, this sounds like a really goofy thing to turn yourself into, especially if you don’t want to be noticed.
As for this being a Fae, they’re associated with forests. I have no idea if anyone has ever reported seeing one in an urban area; if someone knows, then feel free to inform me. As far as I know, they’ve never been seen in one, nor are they accustomed to appearing in your house. They’re forest spirits; that’s their whole thing, from what I know.
You could also posit that this was a demon or some other malevolent spirit. While it’s not unheard of for them to try and tamper with things to hurt the living, I don’t know how you can sabotage a vacuum cleaner to harm someone.
On top of that, I doubt the spirit would leave after being seen (if it would be seen at all). If someone out there who’s really into ghost lore can tell me if seeing a spirit or demon takes away their power, feel free to do so. However, I’ve never heard that, so I don’t get why this would be a one-and-done sighting.
That leaves one suspect for this theory, and that’s that this was a trickster spirit of some type. This circles back to the various spirits I mentioned earlier, like the Duende and Zooforms. It’s hard for me to say anything other than that this is the most plausible culprit, but I have no idea what type of trickster this was. I also don’t know why it would appear once and proceed to hitch a ride elsewhere.
Now, granted, it’s possible there were other happenings that Chris didn’t experience, but his parents did. It’s not unheard of for those who have had encounters with the paranormal to remain tight-lipped for fear of embarrassment. However, in this case, it seems really odd that Chris’s mom or dad wouldn’t be alarmed that the absurd story their son told them wasn’t an excuse to get out of cleaning the house.
That said, if there’s one thing this theory has going for it, it’s that spirits can disappear with unparalleled ease. So, there’s no reason to question why it disappeared. If it was a spirit, it could vanish whenever it felt like it.
Unfortunately, that’s about all I believe this theory has. Beyond that, it’s incredibly weak. Now, sure, there’s a very good chance that that could be entirely my fault; as I’ve said before this month, my knowledge of the paranormal isn’t the best. I also don’t know any legends or tales from the Aboriginal people of Australia that could fit the bill of what Chris saw. So, it’s possible this could be the most plausible explanation.
Alas, as it stands in my eyes, the guy writing this in his bedroom while he waits for a NASCAR race to begin, I don’t see much that screams, “Chris saw a specter!” So, with that fresh in our minds, let’s take a detour to Skeptic Avenue and see what theories attempt to rationalize Chris’s tale.
5. A hoax
A staple of any story from About—and practically any story I cover on this blog that isn’t related to true crime—this theory posits that Chris made the whole thing up. Why? Well, if you’re someone living in the late-2000s, faking stuff on the Internet is known as “Tuesday.”
I’ll keep this as brief as possible because I have nothing new to say here that I haven’t said numerous times this month. Namely, if you’re curious to fake something on the Internet, why would you not do it on a website where you could receive comments? The fun part about doing something like this is reeling in replies; that’s the whole point of “bait posting” and trolling. It has existed since the dawn of the Internet, and I doubt it was that much different in 2008 (though, I will admit, my memory is hazy from that time period).
Personally, if this was a hoax, I think it would be smarter to post it to a website like Your Ghost Stories, which is dedicated to ghost stories and allows for comments. Yes, I know, that’s a really shocking revelation, but I’m sure the feeling will wear off in 2 to 4 hours. Also, if that website’s name sounds familiar, it’s because I covered a story from there last year entitled The Little Blue Man. It was most certainly a thing that I wrote about.
Anyway, there’s just as good of a reason to suspect that someone would do this to prove a point to a friend, family member, or acquaintance. Do I think it’s likely? Honestly, I can’t say; there’s absolutely no way to tell unless someone somehow got in contact with Chris and talked to him. As it stands, the man’s a blank slate that could be anything from a skeptic to believing aliens created Tinder.
That said, it’s possible “About” allowed for comments—or had a forum. Not all of the site was archived on the Wayback Machine. I’ve mentioned this before, but I feel it bears repeating because it’s a legitimate possibility, and I never used the site while it was active. So, keep that in mind; it’s possible people could’ve discussed this somewhere.
On a more subjective note, I think it’s worth noting how there isn’t anything remarkably absurd about it. Oh, sure, it’s definitely odd in its own right, but by all accounts, the gremlin that Chris saw didn’t do anything unbelievable. It was in the corner, near a vacuum cleaner, and then fled into the living room, where it disappeared. If that still sounds like one of the most ridiculous things ever, I want to present five stories I’ve covered that I firmly believe are crazier.
The first is The Humanoid Phoenix, which I covered last year. A man in Texas said he saw a humanoid being that erupted in flames and took off. The eyewitness likened it to the mythological phoenix, a bird made of fire that, upon dying, turns to ashes before being reborn anew.
I also just realized I never referenced Fall Out Boy’s song My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark during that write-up. I’m disappointed in myself; I had the perfect opportunity to do so. Oh well. I’ll just need to find another story about a phoenix to cover next year.
Anyway, the second is The Glowing Dancing Bulls, which I also covered last year. A man recounted an incident where he saw two bulls dancing. You should read it because I put a lot of work into that write-up. But finish reading this one first!
The third is The Space Penguins of Tuscumbia, which—and here’s a shocker for you—I covered last year. This is one that I want to take a second look at when I have the opportunity because I believe there were some details I missed, but I digress. A farmer said he saw aliens that resembled penguins. His solution to get them to go away was to throw rocks at their UFO. That dude had Gigachad energy before that was even a thing.
The fourth is The Light with a Thousand Voices, which I covered last year, but you likely know that by now. It’s a story from Bolivia; a guy named Marcus awoke to a bright light that was accompanied by the sound of numerous voices—or so Marcus claimed. You should check that write-up out because I’m still really proud of it.
The fifth and final story is Peggy and the Giant Talking Cockroach, which I covered back in 2021. Yeah, there’s a story that wasn’t covered last year! This is a story I want to rewrite because I think it could use significant polish—and because I’d like to snoop around for more information online. Outside of that, the story’s about a lady named Peggy who stayed at a motel only to encounter a bipedal cockroach that stood 6’5” (198 centimeters) tall. Sounds like that motel is in dire need of RAID!
There you have it, dear reader, five other stories that I believe are wilder than the one we’re discussing. This may sound like me shamelessly plugging my own work, but there’s another reason for this digression—and it’s one that ties back to a story we covered the day before yesterday.
You see, aside from coming across as rather unremarkable in the sense that the gremlin didn’t do a whole lot of crazy stuff, Chris’s writing also comes across as rather relatable. It’s clinical, but not in the sense that he’s detached from what happened. Rather, it sounds like he’s a man who’s lived with an experience he can’t explain for a long while—in this case, a whopping 26 years ago (at the time the report was submitted).
Contrast this with the story of The UFOs High Above Artjärvi!, where I criticized Leo’s writing for being robotic and how it seemed like he didn’t care about the unbelievable events transpiring before him. Leo’s encounter happened just under six months prior. There’s a perfectly good reason for Chris to have written the way he did, and it’s not something I’d expect from a hoaxer.
Of course, you can argue that Chris did this on purpose; he wanted to sound relatable so he’d fool more people. That’s a perfectly valid reason, but I’d once again ask why he didn’t post this to a site that allowed for replies.
That said, I will concede that Chris’s ability to remember as much as he did is a bit questionable. While it sounds like the event stuck with him in a more traumatic way than is normal for stories I’ve covered from About’s archives, I’d still expect him to be more uncertain regarding some things. But, hey, not all eyewitnesses are going to write like I do and be ridiculously informal.
Ultimately, on a personal level, I think this theory’s really lacking compared to other probable hoaxes. However, that doesn’t make it improbable. You can definitely argue that Chris was skilled at weaving a believable story; countless people online have done that nowadays on websites like Reddit and 4chan. Heck, I’m certain that a fair number of the cases I’ve covered are hoaxes, but I bought into them. That’s the nature of the Internet, after all. As it stands, though, I think the likelihood of this one being an outright hoax is more unlikely than it is likely.
6. Misidentification
This theory and the next one are two that I thought of while reading Chris’s story. I figured I’d start with this one first because it’s the more plausible and longer of the two.
In this case, the idea is that Chris saw the vacuum cleaner and mistook a part of it for a gremlin. As silly as that may seem, we have no idea how long Chris was doing chores, nor do we know how hot it was outside. If he was putting laundry away for a while in the sweltering heat and didn’t think to bring a drink outside, he might’ve gotten exhausted and, in a delirious state, thought the vacuum was a gremlin.
Alternatively, if the sunlight was reflecting off of something inside the house and was in Chris’s eyes, he might’ve mistaken the vacuum for a gremlin. It’s astounding how your brain can take something as simple as a shadow and twist it into the most terrifying thing ever.
Anyway, regardless of which version of events you subscribe to, I believe that both are possible; I’ve mistaken countless things for insects, spiders, myriapods (centipedes and millipedes), and anything else. After all, the human mind is great at playing tricks on itself.
If we’re to assume that this was a bulky vacuum, it would stand to reason that the bag—or whatever contained everything that was sucked up—was, too. This, coupled with Chris’s possible exhaustion, could have given it the appearance of something else.
To add to this, we don’t know if Chris was already tired (be it from a lack of sleep, school, or both)—nor do we know what month it was. If it was summertime down in Australia (which would be from December to February due to it being in the Southern Hemisphere), I have to imagine it was swelteringly hot. Granted, as I said earlier, I don’t know much about Australia—or, in this case, Brisbane. For all I know, there are parts of Brisbane where the temperature is perpetually crisp and cool.
That said, this theory relies on me being right. That’s a very tall order for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which is my tendency to overthink. While my friends and family have often said that I’m way too harsh on myself, I’d defend my self-doubt here because I’m running purely on assumptions established by me. While I’ve had similar things happen to me, I can’t correlate my experiences with Chris’s solely because my eyes and mind have played tricks on me.
On top of that, the gremlin did run into the living area. While Roombas are a thing nowadays, they’re also a few inches/centimeters tall. Roombas aren’t bipedal, either, but maybe Skynet’s working in the dark to send R-1000s back in time to clean your floors behind your back.
Now, I don’t know how long it takes to hallucinate from dehydration on average. Last I checked, it depends on the person; it’s possible Chris had an undiagnosed medical condition at the time that led him to hallucinate.
However, as I’ve said over this month, I want to ease off making assumptions about an eyewitness’s health (be it physical or mental) because I’m not a doctor and can’t make any educated guesses. In this case, though, I believe it’s worth keeping in mind due to Australia’s warm climate.
On the other hand, if it happened to be wintertime, this would become much less likely. While it’s still possible that Chris was exhausted and that the sunlight could’ve been reflecting into his eyes in some capacity, the temperatures are milder. A quick Google search tells me the temperature in Brisbane during winter can be between 51 to 70 degrees Fahrenheit (10 to 21 degrees Celsius).
The last thing I want to note is that it’s also possible Chris misremembered the event, and the figure never ran off. Instead, he created that memory over the course of time due to the incident becoming fuzzier. I’ll expand upon this in the next theory, but it’s not unheard of.
With all of that said, I maintain that this is a plausible theory. While it has plenty of shortcomings, including some that I undoubtedly overlooked, I believe it’s within the realm of possibility. When an event happened 26 years ago, and you were likely doing a fair bit of manual labor when it was potentially warm—if not scorching hot—outside, you may find that your mind can turn even the most innocuous things into something they aren’t.
7. A false memory
I’m going to say right off the bat that this theory has a very high likelihood of being the product of my mind wildly overthinking things—much more than the previous one. Despite that, I wanted to include it because I figured it’d make for an interesting discussion.
The idea for this theory spawned from when Chris noted that his parents said he made the event up to get out of doing chores. I lingered on that a bit because, honestly, I could easily see a lazy teenager making up some nonsensical excuse to get out of it. My proof? I knew someone who was like that; our parents were friends, and his mom would complain about how lazy he was.
Now, granted, that’s super anecdotal, but that got my mind jogging and wondering if Chris made the story up and it stuck with him. Then, as time went on, he misremembered it and now does believe that it happened.
That may sound preposterous, but funnily enough, it’s happened to me. However, it wasn’t because I wanted to get out of doing chores.
According to my mom, and I believe my aunt, I had an imaginary friend when I was younger friend. Apparently, he used to be a World War I pilot. I have no recollection of this, but that’s what I was told; I guess I played with my toys in my bedroom with him.
Except, no, that’s not what happened. This little story was going to be a part of yesterday’s Decemystery entry until I asked my mom about the so-called imaginary friend. As it turns out, it was a hallucination I had when I had strep throat; I believe it was the same bout of it I mentioned when I talked about The Man in the Box. Apparently, I saw him flying near the ceiling.
Unfortunately, due to the passage of time, the memory was twisted and made me think I had an imaginary friend. Alas, I was not rich enough to have an imaginary friend in New York; they tax having those, just like everything else.
In all seriousness, I don’t think it’s implausible that, at the very least, the story’s the product of a false memory. I have to imagine that the memory of something that occurred that many years ago would be incredibly hazy. Heck, I’m 28, and when I try to reflect on events from a decade ago, I struggle. Some things are clearer than others, but by and large, they’re practically non-existent in my head.
Because of that, if Chris didn’t inadvertently dupe himself into misremembering a lie he told to get out of chores, it’s possible for this theory to be loosely merged with the previous one. Perhaps Chris saw a shadow behind the vacuum, got scared, thought he saw something run, and remembered it as a gremlin. Is that likely? Honestly, I think so; as I’ve said many times, human memory is faulty.
Anyway, let’s wrap this theory up. Without being biased toward myself, I think this theory is rather flimsy. However, given the lengthy time between when the event occurred and when it was reported, I don’t think it’s implausible for Chris’s memory to be failing him. Although I maintain that the way he wrote his report sounds genuine, it’s always worth leaving the door open for skepticism. At least, that’s what I believe.
8. SOMETHING OUT OF A REAL-LIFE MAD MAX!
WITNESS HIM SO THAT YOU MAY GO TO VALHALLA, SHINY AND CHROME!
My Take
I’ve said in the past that I like to rationalize a story before I label it as being unexplainable. The reason for this is that I believe that going in with the intention of wanting to prove a case to be paranormal or supernatural—both of which I staunchly believe in—will lead to confirmation bias. I think there are way too many people out there who will use every photo, report, and grainy video to prove that something exists, and I’d rather not do that.
Likewise, I approach each mystery with the intention of treating it seriously. Unless I have prior knowledge that it’s fictional (which I do want to cover some hoaxes down the road because they’re fascinating), I go in treating it with the utmost seriousness. Why? Well, if I don’t, I’m not giving the story a chance; I’m effectively setting it up for failure.
I bring these two stances up because I find it surprisingly difficult to make heads or tails of Chris’s experience. Two of the theories resonate with me for different reasons, but neither fits the bill in such a way that it answers every question I have about what Chris saw.
On the one hand, I think the most likely culprit in the realm of the Fortean is that it was an interdimensional entity. To me, it best explains the creature’s sudden appearance and disappearance—the lack of any indication it returned to its own universe notwithstanding. While some may scoff at me for genuinely believing this, it sounds much more plausible than a cryptid, an alien, or a spirit.
However, if this were the case, then why on Earth did this thing come here? What purpose does a vacuum cleaner serve to a being that can traverse dimensions? This is like if I had an IQ of 200 and decided to go back to Kindergarten. There’s nothing there for me; I’m not going to learn anything. Unless this being’s universe somehow, in some unfathomable way, lacked knowledge about vacuum cleaners, I can’t think of a single explanation.
On the other hand, I think that this could’ve been a case of misidentification. While I acknowledge that the theory spawned from my own mind and that I probably sound biased for thinking that I’m right, it’s hard for me to ignore the likelihood that Chris was fooled by a trick of the light or by a shadow.
Unfortunately, I don’t have any way to prove this. While I do feel somewhat confident in my assumption, I wish I had more to work with. I mean, heck, I don’t even know if Chris’s house was facing the direction of the Sun; if it wasn’t, then my proposal about it being a shadow takes a nosedive. In fact, that didn’t hit me until just now! That goes to show you how much I love my details.
I suppose if anything could point to the Sun being where the house’s backdoor was, it’d be the fact Chris said the gremlin’s head was “distorted.” If there was something reflecting sunlight into Chris’s eyes, the “head” only appeared that way because he was squinting. At least, that’s what I’d argue. I feel a bit uncertain because of how many assumptions deep I am by now; I think I just hit the Challenger Deep of assumptions.
Oh well, I digress. If I had to pick one of the two theories to go with, I’d say the interdimensional being theory sounds like the safer bet. As wild as that may seem, given the theory’s reputation as something of a meme on this blog, it’s the only one that stands on both legs without faltering, at least, in my opinion.
Or maybe it was a hoax; at this point, I don’t know what to think. All I know is that I still have 17 write-ups to go after this one, and they keep being longer than expected. How delightful; I’m sure that won’t be a burden on my carpal tunnel.
Conclusion
And with that, another Decemystery entry comes to a close. This one was as much fun to as it was astonishing. At the start, I said I’d made sure the stories would be simple so life would be easy. Instead, I got another write-up that exceeded 10,000 words. Not only was that not my intention, but I have no idea how I managed to achieve that without actively trying.
I guess that truly is the theme of this year’s Decemystery. Everything is bigger; everything is subconsciously getting more thorough and introspective. That likely means that in the coming days, I’ll do everything I can to make sure the stories I cover are guaranteed to be doable in a couple of days and don’t end up being so comically long.
Anyway, I would love to know what you, dear reader, think Chris saw. Was it a gremlin? A cryptid? An alien? An interdimensional being? Or do you suspect he faked the whole thing for fun? Let me know in the comments, and, as always, stay happy, stay healthy, and thank you for reading!
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