This write-up is dedicated to a very dear friend of mine. You know who you are!
Once upon a time, I was a bright-eyed, idealistic guy who had dreams and aspirations. Then, the tsunami called “life” came along and washed them all away. This is why I now vehemently dislike idealism and believe that people are better off learning early on that the world’s a rough place and viewed the same way you’d view a lion—terrifying.
Lucky for me, the one thing that the tsunami didn’t sweep away was my optimism. I’ve always maintained a fair amount of it, and I’ve made sure never to lose it. It’s an important piece of my younger self that I cling to for dear life.
That said, for a while, my optimism was really close to evaporating when it came to my writing. The reason for that? Well, when I looked at my family—be they immediate or extended—I often looked at myself and questioned what road I took a detour on.
For context, my family has a history in the military and law (be it law enforcement or lawyering). To call me a black sheep would be quite an understatement; I’m about as far detached from them when it comes to careers and jobs as you can get. Whereas they took up noble occupations, I’m sitting on my bed writing about how people saw a giant spider on the moon.
This, in turn, would make me feel vastly inferior to them. I suppose that’s a given; I’m writing about some of the weirdest stuff I find while combing the Internet. I’m not exactly Robert Kardashian, but I still wished I had more to show for my life than a blog that people visit on occasion.
Lucky for me, in recent times, I’ve come to embrace that black sheep status. My family has supported me, and they love that I’ve pursued a more niche and obtuse path in life than following in the footsteps of everyone else. So, all’s well and good.
Now, what does any of this have to do with today’s story? Well, as we draw ever closer to the end of Decemystery, I want the stories to get weirder; I want them to become so brain-meltingly absurd that you’ll take a look at the title and go, “Oh, Vertigo made this up.” But, deep down, you’ll know I didn’t.
I feel like if I’m going to embrace the topics I’ve fallen in love with, I need to make the second half of this month near-total chaos; I need this Decemystery to end off on a note so crazy that every day will be akin to the wildest roller coaster imaginable! So, to begin that, let’s talk about One Man’s Conversation with a Cat.
Stray Cat Strut
Today’s mystery takes us back to the archives of About, the only website that I’m sure will be archived a second time by one guy in his bedroom because he can’t get enough of its contents. Ah, how I love my work.
Submitted in September of 2004 by a man named Gene, this report was entitled “Conversation with a Cat,” hence the title of today’s Decemystery entry. However, while it was submitted mere months before the 2004 United States Presidential Election, it occurred in March of 1992—a dozen years earlier. This would make him 30 or 31 when he sent in his story.
Where this took place isn’t explicitly stated. However, Gene spelled gray with an a, so I’m inclined to believe it happened somewhere in the United States, as it’s the only country I know of that spells it that way. I prefer spelling it with an e because I think it looked better that way. Regardless, I gave this article the United States tag as I know of no other country that uses “gray” over “grey.”
Anyway, as stated earlier, Gene’s story took place in March of 1992. Bill Clinton had recently found himself in the Oval Office. Meanwhile, it would be another two years before I would be born. One of these things is a lot more interesting than the other, but I won’t say which.
As for Gene, he was a 19-year-old man who was “confused” and seeking to discover his “maturity and way in the world.” He’d also “left home” on account of a strained relationship with his father. What happened between Gene and his father isn’t stated. All he said was that there were “problems” between the two, which led Gene to leave home. Keep this in mind for later because it’s crucial to one of the theories.
With nowhere to go, Gene found himself homeless. I know shockingly little about homelessness, especially when it comes to statistics. A quick Google search told me that around 228,621 people were homeless in 1990, which amounted to roughly 0.09% of the United States population. However, many thought this was a severe undercount.
Regardless of how many people were homeless, there’s something that Gene left out that I find bizarre. For whatever reason, he never stated why he couldn’t—or didn’t—stay at a friend’s place or opted to live with an extended family member. I have a theory as to why, but I’ll get to it later.
Anyway, Gene claimed that he spent the majority of his days “at the public library.” When night fell, and it closed, he “would just wander” the streets of wherever he lived to find a place to sleep. This begs the question of how he got food and water, but I don’t want to digress for the second paragraph in a row. I’ll have you know that it’s very tempting, though, dear reader.
One March night, after the library had closed and become the setting for the next Dan Brown novel, Gene found himself “on the steps of an old print shop.” He sat down and chose to rest there, adding that “the night was cool,” and he suspected it would rain soon because of how the air “smelled and felt.”
So, that’s what Phil Collins meant when he said he could “feel it coming in the air tonight.”
As Gene sat on the steps, a small, grey cat approached and sat adjacent to him. Pleased to have a bit of company, Gene decided to pet the cat and speak to it. He did this for a “few minutes,” which makes me wonder what he was saying to the cat. Maybe he was telling him about how he finally listened to Nevermind after months of hearing about it.
By the way, Come As You Are is Nirvana’s best song; nobody can change my mind.
My music opinions aside, Gene eventually asked the cat a question for “rhetorical purposes.” What that question was is frustratingly unsaid by Gene, but I’m willing to bet it was something along the lines of “Why must life be so difficult?” or “Do you think it will get better?” My reasoning is that Gene’s predicament would’ve led him to ask something related to it, especially if he was about to be without shelter when rain was imminent. I doubt it was an upbeat question.
I digress; I’ll get back to this in the theories. What matters is that, to Gene’s bewilderment, the cat responded. What did it say? Gene didn’t say, but he claimed it spoke “in clear English!” Yes, he used an exclamation point. Even Fortean reports need emphasis when things get wild.
Shocked at hearing a cat speak, Gene “jumped back.” This clearly amused the little feline, who once again spoke, this time “in a proper voice.” Here’s what the gentlemanly cat had to say:
Yes, you heard it. I did say that.
I wish I knew what our kitty cat friend said, but we’re left in the dark. Good thing I don’t have nyctophobia, or this story would leave me in a state of perpetual anxiety.
Although I may be doing fine, Gene wasn’t. Hearing a cat talk had made his nerves “a mess,” and the hair on the back of his neck was “chilled.” I’m guessing that means it was standing on end. Otherwise, I’m envisioning Gene morphing into Jack Frost.
Despite that anxiousness, Gene found himself chatting with the cat “for a good 15 minutes.” As their conversation progressed, Gene relaxed. He learned from the cat that he “was in a higher state of consciousness” and was speaking the cat’s language. I cannot believe that I just typed those words without it being some elaborate metaphor.
What the two talked about isn’t mentioned by Gene. It’s possible that the 12-and-a-half years between when the event happened and the month he submitted his story had led him to forget many details.
At least, that would be the case if he didn’t say that he “will always remember that chilly March night” at the end of his account. So, why he chose not to include what they discussed is beyond me. Also, if you’re wondering, Gene doesn’t say if he discovered how he attained this “higher state of consciousness.” But more on that in the theories section.
After a while, the cat informed Gene that he had to “meet his brothers.” And so, with that, the feline took off into the night. I have no idea what he and his brothers were going to do, but the friend to whom I dedicated this story theorized that the cat was motivated to reconcile with his siblings. I quite like that idea as it gives the encounter a bittersweet feeling.
What happened following this encounter is unclear, but Gene said that he’s gotten his life together and has “only told two people” about his encounter with the cat. Unsurprisingly, both laughed at him. I have to admit that if I were told a story like Gene’s, it would be hard for me to keep a straight face. I consider myself to be an open-minded person, but being told a cat talked to you is a hefty claim to make.
Ah, but I digress. Gene rounded off his account by saying that he swears on his “very being” that what he wrote was the unvarnished truth. Kudos to him for never faltering on his claims; if this happened to me, I’d check myself into a psych ward. In Gene’s case, he ended up getting his life together and has presumably lived a stable one since then. If that’s still the case, I’m happy for him. It’s always nice to see people get back on track. I hope he’s made amends with his father, too—assuming their disagreement wasn’t too severe.
That said, I’m not here to hope and pray that Gene’s life is the happy ending many yearn for when they watch a crowdpleaser movie. No, I’m here to discuss if this story has any merit, and that’s where the theories come in. There are quite a few, which isn’t a surprise since this is one of those cases where I could throw everything at the wall and go with whatever sticks.
Of course, I won’t do that because it’s nearly the middle of November, and I’d like to spend the Christmas season with my loved ones and not be confined to a bedroom typing away like I’ve done nearly every year since 2018 (2022 doesn’t count; I don’t even remember what I did that Christmas, honestly). So, without further ado, let’s dive into the theories and see what could explain Gene’s enigmatic tale!
Theories
1. A guardian angel
This was something my friend and I both talked about quite a bit because we’re both Christian (her being non-denominational and me being Roman Catholic). I’d pondered if it was a guardian angel of some sort. You can find many stories of people meeting their guardian angel; heck, there’s one on About that I want to write about one day.
Of course, the people who report encountering these supposed “angels” are already religious. So, their word must be taken with a grain of salt; there are countless good samaritans already who are willing to help out those in need. Additionally, coincidences can happen. So, if someone happens to save your life because they complimented your shirt or hat and you chatted for a few moments, they aren’t immediately a guardian angel.
That said, I suppose you could steer this story in a religious direction by saying that the animal was Gene’s guardian angel, and they wished to help course correct his life. This would be a feel-good way to interpret events, especially with how Gene was seemingly at his lowest point. He was homeless, estranged from his father, and had nothing. Then, along came a cat, and he eventually got his life back on track. How peachy!
At least, that’s how it would be if not for one little fact. You see, my friend’s considerably more religious than me; she’s practically a walking Bible and can find a verse for virtually anything. There have been moments where I’d wanted to make up random, outlandish scenarios to see if she could produce one.
As such, if anyone could figure out if this were a guardian angel, it’d be her. Alas, she knew of no Biblical story where an angel visited someone as a talking animal to help them. At best, the talking serpent that tempted Eve to eat the Forbidden Fruit comes to mind. However, given the cat didn’t tempt Gene to do something reckless, like play in traffic or fight a rabid raccoon for scraps of food, I’m inclined to doubt this was something like that.
But, hey, maybe there was one angel up in Heaven who decided to take on the guise of a kitty to help out Gene. If that’s the case, I’m deeply concerned that the numerous flies and gnats I’ve bad-mouthed may have been trying to help me all this time. Oh well, no time to dwell on that; let’s move on to the next theory!
2. A spirit animal
I’ve made that I know absolutely nothing about nature spirits and spirit animals throughout this month. I know there are numerous cultures around the world that believe in them, but that’s about it. If you asked me what a spirit animal is, I’d guess that it’s a ghostly animal.
I may write about a lot of supernatural stuff, but there’s still much I need to learn about—and this is all but at the very top of the list.
For our second theory, we have the idea that Gene met his spirit animal—or some kind of spirit that took the appearance of an animal to help course correct his life. Once again, this is an uplifting theory that paints an otherwise silly story in a bright light.
But is there any precedent for it; are there any stories like it? Well, honestly, I don’t know. I know that some people say they’ve encountered spectral animals. In fact, I’ve written about two instances of that. For Decemystery 2019, I wrote about The Ghost Mammoth. Then, for Decemystery 2021, I wrote about The Spectral Moose of Maine. So, the idea of ghostly animals is a thing.
Heck, I can even add my own story. Back in 2020, I swear that I saw my Yellow Lab the night after he was put down (he was 14 and had cancer). My mother swore she saw him too, as did a neighbor who wasn’t aware that he’d been put down.
However, there are two major differences between those three stories and the one we’re discussing today. For starters, those were phantasmal animals. As far as we know, the cat that Gene saw, pet, and conversed with was as corporeal as you and me.
Now, in the interest of fairness, there have been eyewitnesses who have purportedly seen and interacted with ghosts that have appeared to be living people. Likewise, there are many reports of ghostly hounds around the world. One of the most famous legends is from the United Kingdom; he’s known as Black Shuck and has been on my to-do list since at least 2019. Maybe one day, I’ll write about him. It’d finally give me an opportunity to quote my favorite Rob Zombie song: Dragula.
Anyway, let’s get back on track. The second difference is easily the most obvious: the ghostly mammoth and spectral moose, along with my old dog, didn’t talk. In fact, I don’t know of a single mystery involving a talking animal (more on that in the next theory, though). By all accounts, Gene’s story is unique.
Now, I will fully concede that there’s a high probability that I didn’t come across a story like this. There are a ton of cases I haven’t looked into, and my struggle with bipolar these past four years has made it very difficult to find an opportunity to spend a day combing through various websites to find things to write about. That’s why Decemysterys 2022.3, 2023, and 2024 have included so many entries from About and NUFORC. I never got the opportunity to seek out cases from elsewhere.
I digress, though. There’s one other significant flaw with this theory—one that Gene never addressed for reasons that confound me. He never recounted what he and the cat talked about. My assumption is that it helped him straighten his life out or provided him with a pep talk. However, I can’t prove that because Gene didn’t even brush the surface. He all but ignored it completely. So, for all I know, the two discussed Wayne’s World, which was released the previous month.
Not only that, but Gene never mentioned if anyone was nearby. While I understand the hesitation not to reveal where your story occurred, I’m still irked by this because if it was in a metropolitan area, I can’t imagine Gene not being spotted by someone—or multiple people. I’ll get back to why this is important in a later theory.
That said, I’ll concede that it’s possible Gene did forget the specifics. While he said he’d never forget the event, a dozen years is more than enough time to forget the specifics. If that were the case, then I wish Gene had said so. It’s nicer to know when an eyewitness doesn’t recall certain things than to be left hanging on.
Anyway, let’s wrap this theory up. Despite the numerous flaws, I feel cautious about outright dismissing this theory. Sure, Gene didn’t provide us with much to work with, but I’ve already talked about how imperfect human memory can be.
Additionally, while talking animals are primarily rooted in folklore and superstition, I’m someone who doesn’t brush aside those legends and tales. There are many who take them seriously—and besides, this blog’s called “Limitless Possibilities.” I didn’t give it that name because I think the possibilities of our beautiful world were, well, limited. You know, I should hire someone to do marketing for me; I’m not very good at it.
Jokes aside, I think this theory’s somewhere in limbo. If anyone happens to find it, contact lost and found. They’ll take care of the rest. For the rest of us, let’s move on to the next theory—which is a really fun one!
3. Animals can actually talk
Anyone who’s seen Illumination’s The Secret Life of Pets is likely going to stare at this theory and wonder why I’m including it. To that, I say: why wouldn’t I include it? It’s not like last year didn’t feature a story about a dog eating cereal with a spoon at a dining room table.
Boy, that was a mouthful.
Anyway, this theory is as it says on the tin. Animals are, in fact, capable of speaking. This is technically true; animals can already talk in their own language (if you want to call it that). Even if you don’t count that, some animals can mimic human speech; parrots, parakeets, cockatiels, crows, ravens, beluga whales, and orangutans are seven examples.
However, mimicking human speech isn’t what the theory is proposing. No, what it’s proposing is that animals are like the aforementioned The Secret Life of Pets and a Disney film. Behind closed doors and within our forests, animals get together and play Connect Four, but with rolled-up millipedes instead of plastic. Don’t worry; it’s voluntary on the millipedes’ end.
Jokes aside, I’ve never heard of one having a 15-minute-long conversation with someone. I could be completely wrong, and there is a documented incident where an animal managed to replicate human speech for a prolonged amount of time, but I digress. I tried thinking back on the numerous 4chan greentext videos I’ve listened to, but I wasn’t able to recall any.
I didn’t let that deter me, though. I decided to head over to 4plebs, a 4chan archiving site, and looked up “Talking Animals” on /x/ (the site’s paranormal board). To my surprise, I found a thread from June 20, 2016, entitled “Talking Animals.” How fitting!
Honestly, the original post was short and quite dull. The user claimed their uncle “had a chocolate lab named Sadie,” who would say insane things to them whenever they were alone, like that their father was injured, so they should “climb out the window” to aid him. As it turned out, the user’s dad was okay.
Because of these bizarre happenings, the user ended up avoiding their uncle’s house whenever they could. They’ve since owned dogs of their own, and none have ever spoken to them. The people the user has told the story to haven’t bought into it, either.
Personally, the part about climbing out the window reminds me of a scene from the creepypasta Mr. Widemouth. In it, a Furby-esque creature tries to convince a child to imagine a trampoline while peering out of the second floor of their home. The titular Mr. Widemouth says that if he does, one will manifest.
Ultimately, the child doesn’t follow through with Mr. Widemouth’s supposed game and goes to bed; likewise, I’m guessing the 4chan user didn’t try to climb out a window to save their dad from whatever was happening. If they did, I hope they weren’t hurt.
Beyond that, the thread is innocuous and doesn’t contain any additional stories—which annoys me greatly. There was one user who linked to a YouTube video of “talking cats,” which was amusing, but it wasn’t what we were looking for (none of them were conversing with us humans). You can watch it below if you want; I’m not much of a cat person (I prefer dogs).
I’ll be honest: this theory’s got extremely little going for it. Like I said in the previous one, I don’t know of a single mystery surrounding a talking animal. While it’d be hypocritical of me to disregard the 4channer’s story, given I’ve used stories from the site for write-ups in the past—I’d like to note that 4chan as a source is very dubious. While I want to cover numerous stories from it in the future, that’s more because I’d love to share them with you than because they’re legitimately mysteries.
Even if I do concede, I can’t name a third story about a talking animal. I’m sure that someone has posted about them on Reddit or 4chan or sent their encounter to any given horror narrator on YouTube. If you happen to know of a story, dear reader, feel free to leave it in the comments; I’d love to read or listen to it. Until then, I’m highly skeptical of this. But, hey, that’s just me; you’re free to disagree.
4 An interdimensional kitty cat
Yeah, you saw this one coming. It’s been a thing all months; there’s no reason to stop now, especially when “interdimensional kitty cat” sounds pretty awesome in a weird way.
I’m not sure if there’s much that can be said here. The idea is that a cat from another universe—one where cats are capable of speaking—somehow ended up in our universe. Whether or not intelligent cats rule that universe, I don’t know. Personally, I’d like to believe they do and that the Cold War involved them being in an arms race with mice. It was like Tom & Jerry, but the risk of nuclear annihilation was real.
That said, the overall theory is pretty cut-and-dry and one that I’ve discussed a bunch of times on this blog. The only places this theory diverges are why the cat opted to spend upwards of 15 minutes chatting with Gene and how it knew Gene had attained a higher state of consciousness.
In the case of the cat talking with Gene, that’s something I cannot begin to answer. While Gene asked it a rhetorical question, I’d love to know what its motivation for doing so was. This might be answerable if Gene had told us what he’d asked it, but whatever; I’m not about to talk in circles for the billionth time this month.
As for how Gene attained the higher state of consciousness, I have some theories. However, in the context of this theory, I’m at a complete and total loss. I’ve heard of people who claim they’ve encountered interdimensional beings; heck, I’ve heard claims about people who say they’ve worked with them. Now, granted, those stories are often told by people who are LARPing (Live Action Role-Playing) as government officials or military personnel. Regardless, I’ve never heard of anyone who says that merely speaking to them lets you miraculously learn their language.
Really, the idea that Gene was capable of speaking to this thing sounds more like the cat used some sort of spell to allow him to communicate with it. If that wasn’t the case, then I clearly need to learn more about interdimensional entities because this bothers me the more I type about it.
There’s little else I can say that hasn’t been said already in most of the write-ups this month. This theory hinges on your belief that other realities exist and that beings from them sometimes find themselves in our world. The difference here is that it was a little grey cat that spent a quarter of an hour talking with a random guy about something.
To round everything off, I’d like to say that I’ve grown increasingly ticked off by Gene leaving out the “conversation” he had with the cat in a report he entitled “Conversation with a Cat.” That’s like if I went to see a James Bond movie and James Bond never showed up in it. Oh well, nothing I can do but take a few deep breaths and continue onward. Because now, it’s time to be skeptical and try to rationalize this crazy story!
5. A hoax
I’m going to be blunt: This theory was almost left out because I initially had a hard time believing that someone could make up a story as weird as this one. While the idea of talking animals is by no means new—you needn’t look further than MGM cartoons to see that—the idea of making it a reality is utterly bewildering.
Yet, here I am, typing out a theory that this was all made up for reasons that I cannot hope ever to comprehend. Whether it was done for attention, fun, or some other reason, I couldn’t tell you. If I had to guess, it’d be “for fun” because I’ve never found comments on About. I’ve said that a bunch of times this month, and I will keep saying it because I have no idea which write-up is someone’s first.
That said, unlike a lot of other cases from About, I could easily see this one being a hoax. Why? Well, let’s face it, this is a really strange story. In my eyes, it’s the strangest one we’ve ever discussed from the site’s archives. Don’t get me wrong, all of them are downright weird in some way, shape, or form, but this one’s on another level.
Because of that, I can see someone potentially having read the various stories and wondered how far they could push the envelope. I have no idea how stories were approved, but if they were manually approved, I could see Gene having wanted to pull off something with the most ludicrous story possible.
However, if that were the case, it’s a shame he never tried posting it elsewhere as time went on. Then again, it’s possible he knew he’d be called out or already had been. If the latter’s true, it’s a shame the story never garnered more attention as a weird hoax someone tried to push because I do love this story at its core. It’s so ridiculous that it’s kind of amazing.
Now, at the same time, I can’t prove any of this. For all I know, Gene found About by complete accident and wrote up his story in a couple of minutes before sending it. That would easily explain the lack of details about the actual conversation—they were an afterthought.
Additionally, Gene said he swears on his very being, which makes me wonder if there is some genuineness to his claim. I’ll never know, though, because I can’t reach out to him. A shame because this was the first time where my normally shy, sheltered self would interview an eyewitness without an iota of hesitation.
Oh well, that’s life. I can’t do anything about it. What I can say is that this theory certainly has a fair amount going for it, despite the hesitation I had. Whether or not you believe it is going to depend on if you think Gene felt like typing this up for laughs. Personally, a part of me can, especially if he wanted to test the limits of About’s quality standards. If that was the case, then wherever you are, Gene, I have but two words to say: well played. You got someone to write about your story two decades after you sent it in.
6. Mental illness
I’ve made it abundantly clear about my hesitation to use this theory nowadays, but I think there’s more than enough of a reason to bring it up.
Severe mental illnesses like bipolar disorder and schizophrenia can result in visual and auditory hallucinations. This extends to animals; there are a few posts on Reddit relating to people who have heard animals talk to them that were honestly extremely difficult for me to stomach because of how distressing they were.
On one of the posts, which was on the schizophrenia subreddit, a now-deleted user said they had a conversation with a stranger’s dog. This is uncannily similar to Gene’s story, and it’s one reason I wanted to put this theory forward. There were others, too, like someone who heard “squirrels and crows” speak to them. It’s an intense read, and it opened my eyes to just how terrifying the illness can be.
But let’s move on. The idea behind this theory is that Gene had a mental illness at the time—be it schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or schizoaffective disorder. If you’re unfamiliar with schizoaffective disorder, it’s a disorder that sees the effects of schizophrenia mixed with a mood disorder (such as the aforementioned bipolar).
This is, by all accounts, a very strong possibility for a few reasons. First and foremost, mental illness has had a long-standing stigma; a lot of people are hesitant to seek treatment due to it being “taboo” and “shameful” in a lot of communities. While some may raise an eyebrow because of how prevalent mental health advocacy is nowadays, remember that Gene’s story took place in 1992 and not 2022.
Back in 1992, mental health care was less efficient. If we’re to assume that this story took place in America (which, as I said at the start, seems possible due to the spelling of “gray”), it wasn’t until 1996 (the year I was born) that the Mental Health Parity Act was passed. Two years later, it would go into effect. Why is this important? Well, with the MHPA, insurance agencies were now obligated to cover mental health and substance abuse costs.
That’s right, prior to the MHPA, your health insurance could have put an arbitrary barrier in place if it didn’t want to cover your payments. If you don’t believe me, read for yourself; the bill was updated in 2008 with the Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act (MHPAEA). You can thank the late Paul Wellstone (a Democrat from Minnesota) and the late Pete Domenici (a Republican from New Mexico, who also pushed for the original MHPA) for that bill, which fixed numerous loopholes the MHPA left open.
As for the bill nowadays, it remains in action. It was expanded upon even more with the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. If that doesn’t sound familiar, you likely know it by its more colloquial name: Obamacare.
Because of the stigma and lack of readily available care, it’s possible that Gene was at the mercy of a mental illness and merely hallucinated the cat. Years later, he got the treatment he needed and has since lived a happy and healthy life. At least, I hope he has; I’d hate for the poor man to be suffering.
As an addition, it’s also possible that the reason for the issues between Gene and his dad was spurred on by the mental illness. It’s unfortunately common for relationships—be they familial or romantic—to be strained, if not outright destroyed, by mental health issues. I can vouch for this, unfortunately, as my own problems nuked several friendships I had. Thankfully, I’ve managed to salvage a few of them over the years.
Anyway, let’s move on from my personal anecdote and instead fixate on where this theory falters. Why? Because I’ve tried writing this paragraph for about ten minutes and couldn’t make anything work—and I don’t want to begin talking in circles.
The first issue is more of a personal one. As you all most likely know, I’m not a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist. I lack any sort of degree, nor have I ever taken a psychological course. As far as I’m concerned, I’m the least qualified human to diagnose anyone with any sort of mental health disorder.
As a result, you should take my speculation on Gene’s mental health with an enormous grain of salt. I’m basing this theory on what little I know about certain mental conditions, which is one of the reasons I’ve tried to refrain from using it this month.
The second issue is that if Gene were mentally ill, it’d be incredibly odd for him not to realize that the cat he supposedly talked to wasn’t the product of a hallucination.
Let me get one thing out of the way: Hollywood and television don’t portray mental illness accurately whatsoever. I have bipolar, and I’ll say upfront that any portrayal you’ve seen in a movie or television show is woefully inaccurate. Unfortunately, Hollywood doesn’t care about accuracy. If they did, Ridley Scott would’ve been out of a job after 2023’s Napoleon.
The reason I bring this up is that, from what I can gather, people who suffer from hallucinations aren’t automatically ravenous lunatics. They tend to understand their condition and aren’t delusional or unhinged. Sure, the issue can sometimes cause a bad episode, but the average schizophrenic or bipolar individual isn’t someone who belongs in a strait-jacket.
As such, it’s absurd to imagine that Gene could be diagnosed and treated for a mental illness but maintain that this one incident wasn’t a product of it. While I imagine some hallucinations are worse than others, you’d think he’d understand that a cat didn’t chat with him.
Anyway, let’s move on to the third and final issue that I’ll raise: If Gene’s condition went untreated for a prolonged period of time, it should’ve gotten significantly worse.
Again, I speak from experience with my bipolar. When a mental illness is left untreated, it doesn’t magically go away—especially ones that are lifelong disorders (such as bipolar and schizophrenia). They worsen until treatment is either received or something unfortunate happens.
Now, granted, it’s possible that Gene managed to cope with the problem for some amount of time until he sought treatment himself. Alternatively, he might’ve gotten help from his father or an extended family member; the latter seems more likely, but there’s no way to determine that.
It’s also possible he received treatment after getting in trouble with the law. However, I’m not about to speculate about Gene’s potential legal issues as that’s not business. Also, I have no idea if people with mental health troubles were likely to get help in 1992 if they were arrested. My knowledge of the American legal system isn’t the best; I didn’t take a civics course before starting this blog.
I digress, though. I think this theory’s gone on for long enough—and I don’t feel like assuming increasingly harsh things about Gene. I know that’s an unfortunate fact when it comes to a theory like this, but I’d rather not do it.
In my eyes, there’s certainly an argument to be made about this theory. Mental conditions do result in terrifyingly vivid hallucinations, and if Gene had one, it’s likely he wouldn’t have even known. If he did, he possibly couldn’t afford it—assuming he wasn’t penniless or without insurance.
At the same time, there are some logical issues that are hard to gloss over. I’m especially iffy about Gene never realizing the cat was a hallucination after he supposedly got his life back on track. Then again, it’s possible he could’ve been lying about that—or he went off his medicine. That’s been known to happen, sadly, and it usually has disastrous results.
Ultimately, I leave this theory up to you. Personally, I don’t want to assume someone’s cognitive well-being without a professional diagnosing them.
That said, we have two more theories to discuss. So, let’s move on to the next one, which I promise is considerably shorter and less bleak.
7. A dream
This theory’s relatively self-explanatory: Gene nodded off on the steps, possibly while petting the cat, and dreamt the whole conversation up.
As I discussed yesterday, going to sleep is an involuntary process. If it was as simple as commanding yourself to pass out, I’m sure most people would take lengthy naps during the day. Personally, I wouldn’t; I’ve never been much of a nap person, but I digress. The point is that you fall asleep without realizing it.
Because of this, it’s highly likely that Gene—who said that he’d sat on some steps to “rest”—drifted off to sleep without realizing it. I don’t know why he dreamt of a talking cat, I don’t know, but dreams aren’t known for making a whole lot of sense. I once had a nightmare about being a cameraman for a reality deathmatch game where people had to fight to survive in an abandoned building that was something straight out of Hell.
That isn’t a joke, by the way. In the dream, the building was occupied by demons. As for why I was the cameraman, I have no idea. It remains one of the most traumatizing nightmares I’ve ever had, but I’m not shocked. I was sleeping in my old bedroom that night, and I’d often have really twisted dreams when I slept in there. As silly as it may sound, I sometimes think it was cursed. Maybe I should do a write-up on it.
Oh well, that’s a topic for another day. For now, let’s get back on track and discuss something else that works in this theory’s favor—namely, I doubt Gene had been sleeping well.
Let’s face it: the homeless aren’t sleeping comfortably each night exactly. That’s not meant to be funny; that’s an unfortunate fact. Park benches, abandoned structures, under bridges, tents, and cars (should they have one) are some places I can name off the top of my head.
None of these places are likely to give you a good night’s rest. Sure, some may be more accustomed to it; I’ve known people who can sleep practically anywhere without any trouble, but that’s beside the point. The point is that it’s possible Gene hadn’t been sleeping well, and so he was more fatigued than normal.
Let me elaborate: Gene didn’t tell us how long he’d been homeless at the time. All we know is that this occurred in March, that he spent most of his time at a public library, and he would search for a place to rest at night. He could’ve been homeless for a few days, weeks, or since the end of the previous year.
If there wasn’t a homeless shelter wherever Gene lived—or if he didn’t have anyone he could live with while working to get his life back together—I imagine that he was sleeping very poorly. This could’ve made it easier for him to nod off. At least, I think it would have. I’m not a somnologist, so don’t quote me on this.
Now, on the flip side, there are two issues with this theory. The first is the lack of information Gene gave us. By all accounts, it sounds like he had no one to go to (more on this in the next theory). However, if he did, then that begs the question of why he was sleeping on the steps of an “old print shop.”
My immediate thought is why he didn’t go to a homeless shelter. Granted, I don’t know how many were around in 1992, nor do I know where this took place. It’s possible it was in a small town where one wasn’t built. If that’s the case, then I’m surprised that no acquaintances were willing to help him—no friends from high school, former teachers, or anyone. Then again, the next theory may explain this.
The second issue is that you’d think Gene would’ve realized he’d been asleep when he awoke. After all, if you fall asleep at night (like Gene did, should this theory be the answer to the story), waking up to the daylight would be the first sign that you’d fallen asleep.
Of course, it’s possible this could’ve been a case of microsleep. What’s that? It’s a period where you fall asleep for several seconds without realizing it. It’s usually the product of sleep deprivation, but other conditions (such as narcolepsy and, interestingly enough, schizophrenia) can cause it.
I’m not sure if microsleep can result in any vivid dreams. If it can, then I wouldn’t be surprised if what Gene thought was 15 minutes was mere seconds. Believe me when I say that I’ve gone to sleep for what I thought was several hours, only to learn it’d been about an hour and a half. My disappointment never ceases to be immeasurable when that happens.
Both of these issues, while not back-breaking, do make me raise an eyebrow to some degree. However, in the interest of fairness, it’d been a dozen years by the time Gene had sent in his story. While he claimed to have never forgotten the incident, it’s hard to deny that he might’ve misremembered something, especially if he overcame hurdles like homelessness and other life-changing tribulations.
I think you get the idea, though. This theory certainly isn’t implausible, but it hinges upon Gene having nowhere to go. If that were the case, then we need to finally ask a question that I’ve been ignoring since the start of this write-up: Why did Gene not seek out extended family members or friends for assistance?
Well, the mental illness theory could answer that, but there’s one that I felt did it better since it goes hand in hand with that one—and I say that with as solemn of a tone as text on a screen can produce. So, rather than prolong any further, let’s get into the final theory (not counting the meme theory).
8. Drugs
I mentioned this earlier in the month, but I remember the D.A.R.E. campaign being a big thing when I was growing up. The one talk I recall the most happened when I was in fifth grade—in 2006. I remember it because I believe it happened the day The Grudge 2 was released, and I saw that in theaters with my father that day. He wasn’t a fan of the films, but I loved the original and American remake—and I still do.
Of course, D.A.R.E. typically boiled down to telling children that marijuana was evil. Amusingly, telling children not to do something didn’t work because it led to more youths doing it. You’d think that adults would realize kids are prone to rebelling against authority every chance they get.
Also, for those wondering, I wasn’t one of those youths; I was too busy playing World of Warcraft. I suppose that qualifies as a drug in its own right in the eyes of some, but I digress.
While D.A.R.E. nowadays isn’t prevalent, it was in the 1980s and 1990s, back when the American “War on Drugs” was at its peak. Given the program’s counterproductive nature, it’s possible that Gene was one of the many Americans who found himself doing drugs despite the advice D.A.R.E. had given him.
While nowadays, parents might shrug if their kids smoke weed, the world was drastically different in 1992. Socially, drug use was still seen as being trapped in the devil’s grasp—at least in the United States. I’m sure it was in several other countries.
This is where things get rather depressing. If Gene’s father was extremely strict, it’s possible Gene was seen as a lazy, worthless teenager by his father. This could’ve led to Gene storming out—assuming his dad didn’t kick him out.
Either way, this could also explain why Gene didn’t stay with any family members. It’s possible his father told them to turn Gene away. While this may seem extreme, some families and cultures treat actions like this seriously. So, it’s possible Gene was frozen out from all contacts.
Of course, that’s not the only possibility. There’s also the chance that Gene had an untreated mental illness, and he used drugs to cope with it.
This idea ties back to the sixth theory—and it’s something I left out on purpose because I felt it was better talked about here. A lot of people who have untreated mental health problems tend to take drugs to deal with their problems. While it’s not a universal thing, it does happen, and it’s very unfortunate. I believe the most common type of drug is opioids.
If this were the case, Gene could’ve gotten hooked on some sort of drug while homeless, which led to a hallucination. Unfortunately, my knowledge of drugs is aggressively poor, so I can’t list off every single one that results in a hallucination.
Alternatively, and rather innocuously, he may have tried DMT, LSD, or PCP after being offered it by another homeless person and had a bad trip as a result. However, I don’t know how popular psychedelics are among the homeless, let alone the average American. I’m not a social butterfly—even then, I pick and choose who I associate with very carefully.
Regardless, this theory does explain the issue of Gene being homeless quite well. If Gene’s family were hard-line anti-drug people, it’s possible news of him doing them led to him having nowhere to go. However, this does lead one to wonder why he didn’t ask a friend for help.
The only thing I can think of is that Gene may have been a loner in school or was too ashamed to ask for help. Both are possible, but I’m hesitant to put any stock in them because I have no proof.
You could also try to argue that Gene had a bad reputation while in it (which could mean he was a drug user before leaving home). However, if that were the case, then one has to wonder why things didn’t boil over far sooner between Gene and his father.
Also, if Gene had a poor reputation, that would explain why he had no friends to go to. The same goes for if he was a loner, which would also lend credence to the mental illness theory. Given how sadistic teenagers can be, it’s possible Gene was an outcast for one reason or another.
Whether Gene was simply unpopular or had a mental health condition that led him to be “weird,” I don’t know. Either way, he could’ve been shunned and eventually found himself homeless and addicted to some sort of substance. But you get the picture by now; I don’t need to keep repeating myself.
While this theory has a lot going for it (in my eyes, anyway), there are some problems with it, too. The first is one that I mentioned in the sixth theory: If Gene got treatment for his condition, he should know that the cat was a product of a hallucination brought about by whatever drug (or drugs) he was on.
Now, granted, you can argue that Gene had lied to himself to the point that he believed the cat was real. However, it’d seem weird that he’d go his entire life without ever realizing, “Huh, I saw that talking cat after I took a hallucinogen.” Surely, it’d be then that you would realize the two are connected and not mutually exclusive.
Another problem is that Gene only had this happen to him once. This would be odd since you’d think being addicted to a drug would result in you having multiple strange happenings. But, as far as I can tell, this was Gene’s only experience.
That said, it’s possible that Gene only took whatever drug once. In that case, this issue can be thrown into an incinerator. No, really, that’s it. This would be the most anticlimactic outcome, but I’d say it’s one of the probable answers to the case.
Anyway, the third and final issue I’ll mention is that if Gene was doing drugs to cope with a mental illness, it should’ve exacerbated the condition. This would’ve led to more self-destructive behavior and would’ve made recovery considerably harder for him.
That begs the question: Who—or what—led Gene to straighten his life out? Did Gene see his dad one day, and did they have a tearful reunion? Or did eight years pass, and Gene just so happened to watch Darren Aronofsky’s masterpiece Requiem For A Dream? Because if it’s the latter, I fully understand why you got your life together!
Whatever the case may be, I think this is one of the most probable theories. While I’m undoubtedly leaving out a lot of stuff that I could ramble about, I don’t want to sit here and discuss every minuscule detail, nor do I want to spend a bunch of time speculating about why Gene and his dad had a falling out. These write-ups aren’t meant to bring about misery; they’re meant to be fun and leave you feeling happy, not depressed.
Because of that, I think we can wrap this theory up. Like I said, I’d label it as one of the most plausible explanations. Despite its shortcomings, hard drug use is common among those who are struggling. If Gene had fallen into this pit, it’s possible the cat would have been a product of it.
I just wish I knew if you can have one-off hallucinations. If you can, then this is certainly a weird one. Oh well, on to the meme theory; let’s close this section out on a lighthearted note, shall we?
9. Meowth
Did you ever wonder what Jesse & James’ Meowth was up to before Pokémon was created? Well, now you know. He was talking with homeless teenagers on the mean streets of wherever this story took place. It’s such a shame that he ended up succumbing to a life of crime.
My Take
Gene’s case is yet another one that I find frustrating. My gut tells me that he experienced an episode of microsleep without realizing it—or, heck, he just outright nodded off for a bit without fully realizing it.
On the other hand, my brain keeps telling me that Gene was on some sort of hallucinogen or suffering from an undiagnosed mental illness. Both sound highly possible, but both beg the question as to why Gene never accepted that one or the other was the cause of the talking cat. I get that people can delude themselves, but this would be a new level of delusion for me.
Additionally, the dream theory doesn’t properly explain why Gene didn’t stay with any extended family members. Unless he lived far away from them, which is possible. But in that case, why not use a quarter to call them? Pay phones existed in 1992—and they still exist for reasons I can’t explain. Get a quarter, go call someone, and explain your situation!
I guess if I had to go with any theory, I’d say it’s a toss-up between the mental illness and dream theories. Both strike me as the most plausible and sound the most logical. But I say that while also having hit the point of burnout with this case.
As much fun as it was to write this, reading through Gene’s report over and over while racking my brain for an answer has proven more stressful than I initially thought. While I wanted something truly wild and crazy for today, I never could have imagined I’d find myself this caught off-guard by my inability to draw up a conclusion.
I attribute that to the numerous variables this case has. There are so many possible ways Gene’s falling out with his dad could’ve played out. There are a multitude of reasons as to why he didn’t contact anyone after he left home, too.
The angles I took a look at were the ones that I thought were the most possible; if you have any that you think I should’ve examined, feel free to let me know. As it stands, though, I only have so much time and energy before I feel like I’m going in circles.
I digress, though. There’s a strong possibility that I will revisit this case one day because I think it deserves a lot more research than it received. Mostly in regard to the theories about talking animals, the science about mental illnesses, and the effects of psychedelic drugs. Until that day, though, my final guess is that Gene fell asleep. I know how anticlimactic that must be, but I’m sorry. You can thank me for not having any fancy college degrees for that one!
On one final note, I want to say that I kept wanting to type “Bram” instead of “Gene.” I have no idea why, but it annoyed me to no end. I really hope the same thing doesn’t happen with the next story, or I might lose it.
Conclusion
This was certainly an experience—a highly memorable one. I’m once again startled by how much I wrote, but I suppose it’s to be expected by this point. Nearly everything’s been lengthier than I thought it would be. This has me deeply worried about this year’s Bonus Entry, which I fear may have to be delayed on account of how much there is to it, and it’s already the middle of November as of writing.
But I don’t want to get hung up on reflecting on stuff when tomorrow’s story calls to me. I’m really eager to cover it as it’s a case that I found the same day as this one, and I’m in awe at just how different it is. Seriously, it’s going to be amazing!
So, to round this all off, tell me what you think the truth behind Gene’s sighting is! Do you believe it was an untreated mental illness? Drugs? A dream? Or was there something more Fortean at play? Leave a comment telling me, and, as always, stay happy, stay healthy, and thank you for reading!
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