If you read yesterday’s write-up to the then, then I mentioned that I would be revisiting a website called “About.com” this month. Well, I mentioned that because—surprise, surprise—we’re visiting it today!
For those who don’t know, I found out about “About” last year while I was looking for stories on sustained_disgust’s Obscure Unsolved Mysteries Iceberg. The site is now defunct, but a lot of incredibly strange and fascinating stories were archived via the Wayback Machine. I covered a plethora of them last year, and I have every intention of going through even more this year.
While that does mean I won’t get to look for additional details online, I’m not too upset. After the 30,113-word-long behemoth that was Decemystery 2024’s inaugural story, I feel like taking it easy and conveying a short and strange tale of the Fortean is preferable to overexerting myself and suffering from severe burnout. The last thing I desire is to have this series go incomplete because I thought it would be a good idea to force myself to do something I don’t want.
Anyway, let’s get back on track. With an archive that has enough material to sustain me for a year, choosing a story is easier said than done. There were numerous cases that I wanted to cover, but I felt that if I went with the first thing I saw, I would miss out on an even better story on another case. Well, lo and behold, that feeling proved to have merit!
As I was eating dinner one night, snooping around About’s archives, I came across a story entitled “Gargoyle in the Shrubs.” This caught my eye for two reasons. The first was that stories of gargoyles are quite interesting. Reports of them are, for some peculiar reason, not unheard of; I would like to do a lengthier write-up on them, but my mental health has an allergy to them, along with writing prior to the halfway point of the year.
The second is that last year, I wrote about a story called The Gargoyle at the Window, which was also from the depths of About’s archives. So, I figured that it would be fun to cover another story about a gargoyle. Who knows, maybe it’ll become a Decemystery tradition, like covering stories from the Conspiracy Iceberg!
Anyway, enough blabbering; it’s time to get into the story. Come along, dear reader, as we dive into the story of The Gargoyle in the Shrubs! Also, doing intros has become much easier since last year’s Decemystery duology.
Bring Me a Shrubbery!
A quick disclaimer: I learned this upon doing a quick Google search. The man who submitted this story—Greg—uses the words “shrub” and “bush” interchangeably throughout. As far as I can tell, while the two words are synonymous when it comes to casual conversations, they aren’t the same thing. Because of the story’s title, I’m going to ignore his use of “bush” and stick with shrub since that’s the name of the story. With that out of the way, let’s get on with the show!
This story was submitted in July of 2006 by the aforementioned Greg. Interestingly enough, the following month was when the report about the previously-mentioned “Gargoyle at the Window” was sent in. I wonder if Bryan (the man who submitted that story) read Greg’s tale and was inspired to submit his own; perhaps he felt less embarrassed about his experience learning that someone else had seen a similar creature.
Greg’s story took place a little under a year prior to being submitted, in August of 2005. He’d gone outside one evening “to smoke a cigarette.” After having a not-so-healthy dose of tobacco and whatever else cigarettes are made up of, he turned around to head inside. However, as he did, he noticed “a gleam in a nearby shrub,” which was roughly 20 feet (6 meters) away.
Curiosity piqued, Greg examined the shrub closer to find out what he had seen. It didn’t take long for him to realize there was a face that was leering at him.
At least, that’s what Greg thought it looked like. Initially, he rationalized it as “the evening light” mixing with “the arrangement of the shrug’s branches and leaves” coming together to “create such a startling effect.” In simpler terms, Greg thought his mind and eyes were playing tricks on him.
Relieved that there wasn’t anything hiding in the shrubs harboring intentions of eating his face, Greg decided to get closer to the shrub. He said he wished he “had a camera that could capture this unusual optical illusion.” I wish I had a million dollars, Greg, but as The Rolling Stones once put it, you can’t always get what you want.
However, when Greg was roughly 5 feet (1.5 meters) from the shrub, he realized that what he had been seeing wasn’t an optical illusion. Rather, it was face—and it looked “very malevolent.” I know, that’s got to be a real shock to anyone reading a story involving a gargoyle. It’s not like they’re prone to looking malicious.
Or, well, you’d think that it was a gargoyle. After all, the story is called “Gargoyle in the Shrubs.” However, Greg doesn’t initially describe it as resembling a gargoyle. Instead, he likened it to a gremlin “you see in some of the movies.” I’m going to hazard a guess and say he means the two Gremlins films (see below for what they look like before and after feeding them after midnight; if you’re not aware, that’s part of the film’s plot), but I know that Gremlins are folkloric creatures. So, I have no idea what “movies” he meant.
Unsurprisingly, Greg found himself in disbelief. After all, he was looking at a gargoyle. So, he shook his head and shut his eyes. Personally, I shut my eyes before I shake my head, but that’s beside the point.
No, the real point is that Greg decided to shut his eyes in front of what was potentially a wild animal. I cannot fathom why he would want to take his eyes off of the creature. That sounds like a terrible idea, especially when he guessed he was a mere 5 feet from it. In case you don’t know why this is a bad idea, staring directly at any wild animal—even if it’s a domesticated cat or dog—can and will make them nervous. This is how maulings happen; don’t look wild or stray animals in the eyes.
I digress, though. Upon looking back at the monstrosity, Greg found that it was still there, looking at him. Well, its face was. As far as Greg could tell, that’s all there was—a face. This is a remarkably stark contrast to last year’s gargoyle story, where Bryan saw the entire abomination pressed up against his window. Man, Greg got the short end of the gargoyle encounter stick.
Stricken by ever-growing disbelief, Greg thought that “it must be a cat, raccoon or possum.” I know I should be happy that Greg threw some semblance of detail into his account, but I have to wonder how big this shrub is. The three animals mentioned there are quite different in terms of size, but I digress. I’ll go over this more in the first theory since I don’t want to go on a massive tangent.
For reasons I cannot fathom, Greg said he “took another toward the face.” Listen, I understand that curiosity is an innately human thing, but Greg was already staring down the barrel of a rifle by being this close to an apparently malevolent-looking face that was somehow concealing its body in a shrub. Greg is either the most reckless person I’ve ever covered or the boldest. I guess some people really are built differently.
Upon getting closer to the face, Greg claimed he “felt a wave of such hostility that it practically took [his] breath away.” Despite being left breathless by the sensation of hostility (which I’m pretty sure was “fight or flight” kicking into overdrive), Greg remained in front of the face and noticed a few additional facial features. Again, I have no idea why on Earth he didn’t for the hills if he felt this thing was hostile, but I suppose I’ve seen one too many horror movies and am prone to telling people to run away from everything that doesn’t look friendly.
The newly realized features that Greg saw were “green and darkly mottled ridged eyebrows, brilliantly white (almost mesmerizing) pupils, rubbery-looking pointed ears, and a very large mouth” that was partially opened. According to Greg, it looked like it was either sneering at him or trying to threaten him. This may have worked, but Greg didn’t recall seeing any teeth. This particular detail is one that boggles my mind to no end, and I have so much I want to say about it when we get to the theories.
Terrified at the prospect of being gummed to death, Greg finally decided that now was the time to retreat. So, he scurried back to his apartment, locked the door, and peered out his front window. To his surprise, the face was still looking at him; although he was now viewing it “from a different angle,” the entity had “held its form,” only slightly turning its head to keep its gaze on Greg.
As the two had their staring contest, a realization struck Greg. Namely, that he had seen an elf or gargoyle-like creature, and he “wasn’t supposed to.” So, we’ve gone from this thing resembling a gremlin to resembling either an elf or a gargoyle. At this rate, I think Pablo Picasso created this thing as an art project.
Anyway, it accompanying this realization was that the perceived malevolence and “hypnotic stare” (which I’m guessing were the “almost mesmerizing” white pupils) were the creature’s “warnings” to Greg to back off, adding that he didn’t know how he knew this to be the case but that he was “convinced of it.”
To briefly digress, as ridiculous as Greg’s claim may sound, what Greg describes isn’t unheard of. In fact, it reminds me a bit of how some eyewitnesses of the “Mantis Man” claimed that staring at it caused their vision to blur. Granted, I maintain that Greg was experiencing fight or flight. However, such a claim is not a novelty in the realm of cryptozoology.
That said, this is where Greg’s story ends. Like many stories from About, there isn’t a proper conclusion. Presumably, Greg walked away from his apartment window and settled down for the night because the alternative of the face vanishing sounds like a major detail to leave out of your report.
Then again, if I’ve learned anything from writing on this blog, it’s that people are prone to leaving out details for one reason or another. Memory is one of them; just look at yesterday’s write-up for plenty of examples.
Anyway, while we may not know how the staring contest ended, Greg does stress that the creature looked nothing like he’d seen outside of movies (once again, he doesn’t offer any examples, but a part of me is inclined to think he meant Gremlins). He also stated that he “wasn’t under the influence of drugs or alcohol.” I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard that assertion given in a story I’ve covered or considered covering. I’d be rich.
Greg also presented two questions. The first is rather obvious; he asked what he saw. Unsurprisingly, there are a plethora of suspects, and we’ll get to them in a moment. However, the second is a lot more unique; Greg asked what may have happened if he’d approached the creature in the shrub.
While I can only speculate on the part about what he saw, I feel confident in saying that if Greg had gotten closer, the name of this write-up would be “The Disappearance of Greg.” At the same time, there wouldn’t be a theory about a gargoyle abducting him when he walked near a shrub. I’m sure David Paulides would’ve proposed it, though!
Anyway, with that, Greg’s story has now come to an end. As I said before, there isn’t a real conclusion; stories from About are anticlimactic, but that’s part of why I like them. It leaves the door wide open for speculation on my end—and on yours, dear reader. There’s a certain level of fun to be had letting your mind run wild, wondering how this could be rationalized or what sort of legendary cryptid the person—or people—saw.
In Greg’s case, coming up with theories was easy. Given Bryan’s case of the “Gargoyle at the Window,” we’re dealing with an incredibly similar case. A person claimed they saw a creature of folkloric legend and submitted it to a website. However, there’s one main difference: Greg’s story was submitted a month after it happened, while Bryan submitted it decades after his experience occurred. So, the memory was fresher in Greg’s head.
So, while the territory may be similar, the song and dance are anything but the same. Now, come along, dear reader; with the story over, it’s time to theorize what Greg saw that fateful July evening!
Theories
1. A case of misidentification
Normally, this would be one of the last theories I would cover. However, due to it tying into a few things I wanted to discuss during the main story itself, I figured I’d switch things up by getting to it first due to something that throws into question where this story happened.
That question comes in the form of when Greg wondered if what he saw was a “possum.” Initially, I thought he meant an opossum, which is an animal native to North and Central America. The reason I thought this is because I went on a field trip to a zoo when I was in grade school, and a teacher kept hammering home that they were called “opossums” and not “possums.” That, or it may have been the tour guide. I can’t remember; this was something like twenty years ago.
Anyway, since that day (see: as of writing this story), I’ve learned that my teachers, tour guide, or both were wrong. Possums so exist, albeit more as a nickname than an actual animal. They’re formally known as Phalangeriformes, and they’re native to Australia, New Guinea, and Sulawesi (which is an island in Indonesia). Their name “possum” comes from their resemblance to opossums; they’re also known as “glides” and “cuscus.” Take a gander at an opossum and a possum (top and bottom, respectively).
In most cases, I would be inclined to speculate on the former. However, Greg said he went back to his apartment. As far as I’m aware, Australians—and presumably New Guineans and Indonesians—don’t use that term. In Australia, they use the term “flat,” like in Britain. Given the geographical region Australia is in, I would be inclined to guess similar terms are used in New Guinea and Indonesia (at least, when translated into English).
At first, I was going to chalk this up to something I couldn’t figure out. However, something gnawed at the back of my mind, a question that wouldn’t leave me alone for reasons I simply couldn’t explain. That being, “Are raccoons even found in Australia?”
Being the master detective that I am, I went to Google to look this up. Lo and behold, raccoons are not found in the Land Down Under! So, as far as I can tell, this is a case of Greg making a typo, and he meant opossum. Thank you, inexplicable sixth sense, for allowing this write-up to have the “North America” tag. The exact country is unknown to me, so it won’t get that, but I can at least say with a high level of certainty that this occurred in North America.
Anyway, enough rambling. Let’s get on with the theory, which is that this was a case of misidentification. That has to be the most common—and obvious—explanation for a story like this. Greg was outside for a smoke at night (or “late evening,” as he put it), saw a face in a shrub, and likely mistook another animal for a gremlin, elf, or gargoyle.
For the sake of keeping this section from becoming something akin to a thesis, we’ll discuss the three suspects that Greg proposed—a cat, raccoon, or opossum.
In the case of it being a cat, I would say it’s certainly possible. Of the three animals named, a cat would be the one that could most easily conceal the rest of its body in the shrub—at least, I believe it would be. Cats are, on average, less than a foot tall (typically around 9 inches—or 22 centimeters) and are usually 18 inches (46 centimeters) in length when measured from head to body.
On top of that, a domesticated house cat that was out and about during the evening would be much less likely to freak out if it came across a human. That would explain why it didn’t pursue him when he retreated back to his house. It’s also possible that the reason it was “sneering” at him was because it was yawning. As for the white eyes, it might’ve been eye shine. However, cats have multiple colors that their eyes may sport, so this isn’t a one-size-fits-all scenario. We’ll get into this more later.
As for the “rubbery-looking pointed ears,” I have no idea how on Earth this would fit any of the animals Greg named. Whenever I envision this, I imagine part of a Halloween costume or a cosplay outfit. This works in the context of a later theory, but as it stands, I have no idea how the ears of a cat, raccoon, or opossum look “rubbery.”
That said, as is the case with virtually any theory, there are some issues. In this case, there are two of them. The first and far less egregious thing is that I believe it would be hard for Greg not to recognize a cat. They’re one of the most iconic animals on Earth, and I think he’d be hard-pressed to find himself in a situation where he doesn’t realize he’s looking at one.
However, I’m willing to let that issue slide since it was late evening. If it was late enough, it would stand to reason that Greg might’ve been tired. That, coupled with adrenaline, would probably lead him not to properly register what he was seeing. I can attest to this as it’s happened to me quite a few times when I’m sleep-deprived.
The second issue is one that I never brought up during the main story—and it wasn’t by accident. Whereas the face in the shrub had eyebrows, cats lack them. However, cats do have facial muscles that allow them to mimic eyebrows. It’s also possible the cat had a pattern that made it look like it had eyebrows when it didn’t. This, to me, would be the most plausible explanation if what Greg saw was nothing more than a cat.
With all of that said, we can rush through the other three animals quickly. There’s no use in spending time repeating myself, especially when this is the first of ten theories. So, next up, let’s discuss the idea that this was a raccoon.
For starters, raccoons are primarily nocturnal. That isn’t to say they can’t be seen out and about during the daytime, but they’re typically active at night. However, this also applies to opossums. So, unfortunately, it isn’t something unique to raccoons, but it’s still a point in its favor, nonetheless.
Additionally, raccoons—along with opossums—are known to hide in shrubs. It’s possible that one of them had made a nest there and was eyeing Greg to make sure he wasn’t a threat to it or its nest. However, I do think it’s bizarre that it would keep its eyes glued to Greg as he went inside and kept looking at him as he peered out his window. That’s not something I’d expect out of a feral animal. If anything, I’d expect it to either run away when Greg did.
That issue aside, there’s one massive going for raccoons. Out of the three animals that Greg listed off, raccoons are the only ones that have eyebrows—in some capacity, anyway. Some sources refer to them as literal eyebrows, while others say that the white fur above their “mask” acts as a pair of eyebrows. Regardless, here’s an image from Exploring Nature to help showcase those eyebrows.
Eugene Levy would be envious of those bad boys!
As for opossums, they fall in line with raccoons on nearly every front—barring the eyebrows. Granted, you could argue that Greg mistook something on an opossum for eyebrows, but that feels like a stretch. Still, I wouldn’t label it as impossible.
With all of that out of the way, I want to move on to three things that are going against this theory. First, the eyes of those animals don’t align with what Greg saw; none of them have white pupils. In fact, as far as I know, no animal on Earth has white pupils.
That said, it’s possible what Greg saw was the animal’s eye shine. I mentioned this earlier, and I’ll touch upon it now in a little more detail. For those who don’t know, eye shine is the term used to describe when an animal’s eyes, well, shine—it happens in the dark, and it’s what helps animals to see when there’s little to no light.
I already went over cats, which leaves two suspects: raccoons and opossums. The latter’s eyes shine dull shades of red and orange, which is nowhere close to what Greg saw.
In the case of raccoons, their eyes shine yellow. Below is an example image.
The second issue is a lot more bizarre. If you recall, Greg said that he didn’t notice any teeth in the creature’s mouth. To say that this throws a wrench in this whole theory would be an understatement, especially when the leading culprit (a raccoon) is the largest of the three animals Greg proposed. For the record, the average raccoon is 23 to 38 inches (58 to 96 centimeters) when measured from head to tail. If you look at the raccoon picture above, its teeth are easily noticeable.
There are more than a few animals on Earth that lack teeth. Whales, sea horses, pangolins, and anteaters are just some of them. However, I’m not here to go over each individual denizen of our home planet like I normally would. That would drive me up a wall.
Now, it’s possible that Greg didn’t notice the teeth, as he mistakenly remembered the animal’s mouth baring its teeth when it wasn’t. Although raccoons—along with plenty of other animals—can and will attack humans if they feel threatened, they’re far more prone to running away. Raccoons are most likely to attack you if they’re rabid. If this one didn’t attack or vocally warn Greg when he was a mere five feet away, I doubt it was trying to intimidate him.
Then again, Greg also said the creature had a “very large mouth.” However, I cannot discern how big that is. I would assume it’s larger than a raccoon. Personally, all I can imagine is Pennywise when he opens his mouth to reveal the Deadlights.
The third and final thing is that the size of the face (and likewise the head as a whole) is in question. Greg never stated how large it was—along with the shrub. Without this knowledge, it’s hard to discern how big the creature may have been, which could have helped lay this entire theory to rest. Isn’t it great when critical details are left out? Yeah, I didn’t think so; it blows.
Out of sheer curiosity, I decided to Google the average size of a shrub. The AI result I got back said that they’re “usually less than 10 feet.” For my metric readers, that’s 3 meters. It then went on to give me examples of the size of shrubs based on whether they’re small, medium, or large.
Small shrubs—which are apparently referred to as “subshrubs” by some—are “less than 6.6 feet” in height. That’s 2 meters. For the record, the average male in North America is 5 feet, 9 inches (179 centimeters).
Medium shrubs, meanwhile, vary in size from 4–8 feet (121 centimeters to 2.4 meters). Given the lower end of a medium shrub is meager 4 feet, I have to wonder if the sources the AI pulled made the “small shrub” size range get screwed up. I feel like a “subshrub” shouldn’t be 6.6 feet if that’s the middle ground for a medium one.
Last but not least, large shrubs are 8 feet or taller. I bet you that David could uproot one of these shrubs with nothing but a stone.
There’s more to the size of shrubs than just this, though; the AI doesn’t go over the width and different types of shrubbery that exist. I merely pulled what was said from there because it helps to hammer home the main point I wish to raise: Where was Greg looking?
Rather than let an AI dictate how big shrubs are to me, I went to one of the first search results I found, which was Swoknews. If the hyperlinked article is anything to go by, shrubs vary far more in size than what the AI had to tell me. They can be anywhere from inches to 12 feet (3.6 meters).
That begs the question as to where Greg was looking. Was he staring up at the face, at eye level, slightly below him, or down at the ground? Because when I first read this, I thought it was like someone was crouching and staring creepily at him. Now, I’m wondering if something twice the size of Shaquille O’Neal was looming over him!
Without this knowledge, this theory relies heavily on assumption. That isn’t inherently bad since a large part of why I love About’s stories is that I can speculate to my heart’s content. However, in this particular case, I desperately wish that Greg had told us how big the shrub was. Though, hey, maybe I’m overthinking things; that’s nothing new with me.
Anyway, this theory’s gone on for long enough. To round it off, if you’re looking for the rational answer to all of this, then you’d likely find it in the form of this having been a raccoon—or some other critter who was held up in a shrub. As for everyone else, fear not! We still have numerous theories to go over—and none of them feature animals that dig through your garbage at 2:00 a.m. Thanks, raccoons!
2. A cryptid
Normally, when it comes to this theory, I would be elated. I can and will happily yap about cryptids for as long as I can. However, in this case, no location was given (outside of my belief that it was somewhere in North America due to the mention of raccoons, which are native to the continent). Amusingly, last year’s “Gargoyle at the Window” story had the exact same problem. So, left to our devices yet again. At least the speculation about it being a raccoon is here to save the day!
I’ll go over the idea that this was a gargoyle in the next theory (mainly so this theory doesn’t become unnecessarily bloated). For now, I can’t say that any cryptid that I know of sounds like the one that Greg described. I’ve spent the better part of my life reading about cryptozoology, and I have never heard of a cryptid that sports the appearance described in this case.
At least, not one that isn’t some sort of hairy hominid like Sasquatch. But this was clearly not something like that. Aside from creatures most Bigfoot-type creatures sporting a foul odor, this thing wasn’t covered in hair and was inexplicably out and about in what was presumably a populated area. I don’t remember the last time Bigfoot decided to go for a night walk through suburban America.
Look, to be blunt about it, I spent the better part of my time rocking my brain while writing this theory in an attempt to remember anything, but nothing came up. Unless this was some sort of incredibly niche cryptid that I’ve never heard of, I have no idea. At best, I imagine something akin to Mothman, but Mothman was said to be several feet tall and didn’t have white pupils; it sported red eyes.
I digress, though. Without any location to go on, this theory feels rather weightless. Not only that, but Greg never said if the creature appeared to have a body. That alone makes it incredibly difficult to discern whether this may have been a humanoid cryptid or something more feral.
Nevertheless, if you asked me to wager on this theory, I wouldn’t label it as the most absurd thing out there. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about cryptids in my time on Earth, it’s that they’re prone to having the most baffling appearances you can imagine. Just look at the write-up I did on The Bagodemon last year. Anyway, let’s move on to the next theory; it’s one I’ve been eager to discuss for a while now.
3. An actual gargoyle
When it comes to cryptid reports, I’ve seen a surprising number of people compare what they saw to a gargoyle. Yet, when it comes to people claiming they saw an actual gargoyle, that number drops quite a bit. It’s interesting because I don’t think gargoyles are that odd. I mean, we’ve got people who say they’ve seen aerial jellyfish. Why are gargoyles so outlandish?
Ah, but I digress. This theory is a continuation of the previous one. I opted to give it its own section, though, for two reasons. The first is that the story is called “Gargoyle in the Shrubs, so I thought it deserved special treatment. The second is that, while I still have no idea where Greg’s encounter took place, I do have a few cases regarding alleged gargoyle encounters that I’d like to note. Also, as I said in the previous theory, I didn’t want it to get bloated, so I figured making this its own thing was smart.
Like any cryptid, the behavior of a gargoyle varies from report to report. Some are aggressive, some are timid, some are ignorant, and some are people on the side of a road going through a horrific transformation before flying off, looping back around, and soaring past a car.
That fourth example wasn’t something I made up. I recall hearing it in a video; I believe it was by a YouTuber named Darkness Prevails, but I forget which. I think it’s somewhere in this video. I’d listen to the full video, but I’m not about to get sidetracked listening to scary stories on YouTube when I still have thirty write-ups to do, and it’s the middle of September. That said, I know there are several stories in that video I’d like to write about, as they’re more than worth sharing and speculating about.
Anyway, if we’re to assume that this did take place in North America, then I only know of one cryptid that’s explicitly described as resembling a gargoyle is the NASA Gargoyle. I wrote about that thing way back in 2018, and, by God, it needs to be rewritten, as does the rest of Decemystery 2018.
For those who are unfamiliar with the NASA Gargoyle, it was a creature seen at NASA’s Johnson Space Center in Houston, Texas, where it was perched atop a building. This has resulted in the monster being known as “The Houston Gargoyle” by some sources, such as Anomalien, which is a site I cited a few times last year.
The thing that makes the NASA Gargoyle exceptional is that it was seen by an employee of the aforementioned Johnson Space Center. Allegedly, NASA itself went on to make a case file for the sighting, and other employees claimed they saw the cryptid. God willing, I’ll do a rewrite of the story next year since the story demands a lot more justice than what I gave it the first time around.
The NASA Gargoyle isn’t the only gargoyle-like creature people have seen. As I said at the start and periodically during this write-up, there was the story of the “Gargoyle at the Window” last year, wherein a man named Bryan recounted his experience with something that peered in through his bedroom window. He described it as “a mix between a baboon and a kind of gargoyle.”
A quick Google search also yields a fair number of results from Reddit. While I know Reddit boasts a sizable community, there were a number of posts from various cryptid-centric subreddits. There was also a result from the Colorado Springs subreddit. In the post, someone claimed that they and their brother saw a gargoyle take flight while in a car. The top response said that it was most likely an owl. That sounds incredibly plausible, given the original poster said they only saw it for around three seconds.
In another post, a user details how his father moved around the United States a lot when he was a child. Throughout his childhood, his dad would see gargoyle-like cryptids and said that their appearance was “a sign when things were about to get bad again.” This reminds me a great deal of the legends surrounding Mothman and how it’s believed to be a harbinger of doom.
I won’t spend time doing a deep dive on the various stories I found (though the one I just went over is one I’m bookmarking to cover next year—assuming nothing screws me over). Rather, I just wanted to make a point that gargoyle sightings aren’t a novelty.
Just because they’re not something novel doesn’t mean this theory holds a lot of water. For starters, the thing Greg described doesn’t really sound like a gargoyle. Like I said in the previous theory, it doesn’t sound like anything I’ve seen.
Additionally, gargoyles are depicted as having wings. I find it really difficult to believe that Greg didn’t notice them, and I doubt the shrub (regardless of how large it was) would be capable of hiding them. That said, if the creature’s wings were folded, it would easily explain this issue away. Given it was on the ground, I would say that’s highly likely.
Even if that wasn’t the case, there’s nothing dictating that a gargoyle has to resemble what is traditionally depicted. I mean, this is cryptozoology we’re talking about. The number of different depictions of creatures like El Chupacabra and the New Jersey Devil are so great that I could make a coloring book out of them.
In short, this theory relies entirely on whether or not you believe that such creatures could exist. It’s the same old song and dance when it comes to any cryptid or alien theory on this blog; I doubt there’s any amount of convincing that I could do to sway anyone’s mind. So, rather than make my fingers cramp like there are a thousand rubber bands around them, let’s move on to the next theory.
4. It was a Fae
Has there ever been a topic or subject that you could never wrap your head around? There are quite a few for me, but in the case of the Fortean and other similar topics, supernatural beings like the Fae leave me dumbfounded. I’ve tried understanding them, but I’m always left feeling like someone tried to explain high-end calculus to me after I got over a killer migraine.
Last year, when I covered Richard Curle’s Nighttime Visitor, I briefly touched upon how I’m unfamiliar with these beings. That hasn’t changed in the past year; I’m as clueless as I was in 2023. That said, rather than remain in the dark, I did a tiny bit of Googling so I could at least try to explain this theory, mainly because it ties into something a bit bigger (possibly).
From what I could gather, the Fae are supernatural beings who live in another world. They’re mischievous at best and malicious at worst. They like to trick and screw with humans because they see themselves as superior beings. In short, they’re like a plethora of other mythological beings spoken about through numerous cultures.
However, what I just described was the top response from a Reddit post from 2016 on the fantasy subreddit. This isn’t a subreddit dedicated to the Fortean. It’s dedicated to creative fiction and other things like that.
In terms of real life, the Fae are much more complex. I’ve seen people say there are good Fae and evil Fae; some are helpful, and some are indifferent toward everything. The information I’ve read and heard could be wrong, but it sounds like the Fae have a diverse interpretation across the world’s cultures. That means there’s no real “correct” answer when it comes to this theory…
Or it would be if there wasn’t a grander way to view it.
You see, dear reader, this theory wasn’t one that I’d originally included. It was shoe-horned in when I inexplicably thought of Missing 411 while writing the cryptid theory.
For those who are out of the loop, Missing 411 is a really elaborate theory proposed by David Paulides about how the National Park Service and the US Government have covered up a lot of disappearances in national parks across the United States. Joshua Tree National Park is one place that’s often cited as a hotspot for these disappearances, and I would love to not only write about it but also visit it.
As for the disappearances themselves, theories abound about paranormal and supernatural forces at play, along with time slips, entering alternate realities, cryptids, aliens, and other Fortean things. Indeed, Missing 411 is worthy of its own write-up. Or, well, it would be if the whole thing wasn’t the product of Paulides leaving out details in various cases to make his theory look more legitimate. Whoops.
Anyway, the reason I bring Missing 411 up is because some people claim that their companions have gone missing after approaching berry bushes while out in national parks. The standard version of such a disappearance is that the person turns their back for a few moments—usually under a minute—and upon turning around, their friend, family member, or significant other is gone. It’s often stated that they had nowhere to go or had enough time to disappear. It’s as though they vanished into thin air.
Given that Greg saw this mysterious face in a shrub, a part of me felt it was worth bringing up the possibility that there was a Fae hiding there, waiting for Greg to get close enough so it could snatch him away for whatever reason it wanted.
Of course, there is one problem with this. Namely, if this was a Fae, why didn’t it just take Greg? He estimated that he was about 5 feet from it when he was closest. If the Fae are as powerful as they sound, what prevented this one from snatching Greg into whatever place it came from?
Common sense would dictate that it’s because someone else was nearby, so it didn’t want to be seen. But if that were the case, I don’t get why that person didn’t ask Greg what he was running from when he finally made a beeline back to his apartment.
Additionally, if there was someone else nearby, I’d like to know how they didn’t notice Greg staring intently at the shrub. While it’s possible they didn’t care, I think that most people would be curious why someone was having a staring contest with local flora.
Then again, it’s worth noting that I’m unfamiliar with anyone who’s said that a Fae has taken them away in a populated area. It’s possible a claim exists out there, but as far as I know, encounters with them are in forests. So unless Greg’s apartment was near one, I’d say that this theory isn’t too likely. But, hey, maybe Greg narrowly escaped becoming another victim of the infamous Missing 411 phenomenon. Who knows?
5. An illusion
The human mind is a fascinating thing. It’s capable of envisioning entire worlds, remembering things that didn’t happen, and seeing patterns where there are none—like the malicious face of something that wants to make your face its dinner.
For our fifth theory, we have one that Greg himself thought of when he first saw the face: It was a trick of the light that he perceived as a monster in the shrub. Pretty standard stuff for a story like this, especially given the creature never pursued him, nor did Greg say it so much as moved. Quite the opposite, really; if you remember, he said it remained “perfectly still.”
That, on its own, is quite bizarre. As stated in the first theory, a wild animal would likely run away when confronted by a human. At the very least, it would make a vocal threat, like growling. Although this thing was “sneering,” it forgot to put some batteries in itself because its voice box wasn’t working.
Duracell: trusted everywhere (even your local Fortean beings use them).
But is this really likely? Well, I would say it is. It’s possible there was something caught in the shrub, and light from a streetlight reflected off of it to create an illusion. It’s really quite remarkable how easy it is to make an illusion.
If you don’t believe me, go draw a cube on a piece of paper. Congratulations, you’ve made an illusion because that so-called three-dimensional object is still two-dimensional. It’s just your brain thinking it’s seeing a three-dimensional image when there isn’t one.
As obvious as that may seem, the same logic applies here. Even though Greg got close to the face, that won’t immediately negate the effects of the illusion. This is especially true if it was “late evening,” as Greg said it was. Depending on how late that was, it’s possible he was exhausted after a long day and wasn’t registering what was really there before panic set in. Let’s face it: when fear overtakes you, logic and rationality go out the window.
Of course, if this had been the case, it would stand to reason that the following day, Greg would’ve seen whatever was on the shrub and put two and two together. Then again, the wind blew it away, or someone cleaned up the trash, so I won’t harp on this too much.
A more glaring issue with this theory is that Greg said the face was still staring at him as he looked out his apartment window. While there are apparently tricks that painters use to make it seem like a portrait’s eyes are following you, Greg’s claim is odd to me because we have no clue where Greg’s apartment was in relation to the shrub.
If it was directly across from it, then no kidding, the face was still looking at you. It was straight ahead, where the apartments were (and presumably still are unless the complex was condemned), then I think it’s pretty obvious that it was keeping its eyes glued to you. The illusion won’t wear off just because you’re farther away. I may not be a master at illusions, but I’m pretty sure distance doesn’t dictate if they wear off when you’re scared out of your mind!
On the other hand, if the apartment was in a blind spot (like behind the shrub or 90 degrees east or west of it), then, yeah, that’s really bizarre. That would also disprove this entire theory because whatever Greg saw would have been forced to move considerably (if not exit the shrub in some capacity) to keep its gaze on Greg. It’d also be creepy because it would’ve known that he was keeping his eye on it.
Despite that oddness, I would certainly rank this as one of the most plausible theories. However, plausibility doesn’t immediately equate to it being correct, especially when you don’t know where the eyewitness’s apartment was. For all we know, it was some subterranean complex that was two years ahead of BioShock when it came to unorthodox places to live.
If that’s the case, then I guess we can chalk this all up to Agartha sending out an agent to see if we humans are worth interacting with. Based on Greg’s actions and the recent use of Agartha in Warner Bros’ Monsterverse films, I’d say he did a good job!
6. A prankster
Pranks are often associated with rowdy youth, April Fool’s Day, and Halloween. Despite those conventions, there’s nothing preventing a prank from being pulled any day and hour of the week. This means that people can and do go out to mess with others for their own amusement, regardless of whether they’re strangers, friends, or family members. Personally, I’m not one for pranks. I was never good at them.
In recent years, there’s been a rise in pranking random people on the streets. You can see these videos on YouTube; they garner thousands, if not millions, of views. They’re also typically staged—or so I believe them to be.
I digress, though; in the case of this theory, there’s little more to it than what’s on the tin. Someone—presumably a bored teen or young adult—dressed up in a costume and went out to scare people.
If I had to guess, they bought a Halloween mask or made one themselves. Both are equally as plausible; there are a lot of phenomenally talented costume designers out there, after all. Even amateur ones.
It would also make enough sense. If this took place in, say, a suburban area, schools would be out for summer vacation. I could easily see someone being bored on a summer night and deciding to throw caution to the wind and have a bit of mischievous fun. Who knows, maybe there were a few other kids or teens some ways away watching the whole thing from behind a tree.
The only issue with this theory is that we don’t know who or what Greg saw was standing, crouching, at eye level, or if it was just a face floating with no discernible body. If this were a floating face, then I think we can throw this theory out of the window. There are a few other things that make us who we are—or so my science teachers told me throughout my time in school.
Anyway, if the face wasn’t floating, where was it in relation to Greg? This would help to tell us how likely it is that the culprit was a human because the taller it was, the less likely it is that this was someone in a costume. I touched upon this last year in my write-up on the Sabertooth Lion Man because that creature was said to be a whopping 7 feet tall, and the odds of it being a costumed prankster were exceedingly slim. Unsurprisingly, this hasn’t changed in a year’s time. Sorry to all of my tall-people-loving readers.
“But wait!” I hear my inner monologue scream out to me. “Greg theorized that the face was likely that of a cat, raccoon, or possum. Would that not indicate it was a near the ground?”
That’s a fair point, my dear self. However, all three animals are capable of climbing, and there’s no reason to doubt that one of them didn’t climb. So, in my humble opinion, knowing where the face was is important, especially when Greg said that the figure’s eyes met his.
If I had to guess, an average-sized person would be able to achieve this. However, they’d need to be wearing dark clothing to conceal the rest of their body, and they’d have to be cautious not to show any skin. Add onto that the amount of work that would have to go into assuring that nobody panicked and reported the sighting to the police, and this theory finds itself on slightly shaky ground.
Also, I know this may seem like a bunch of nitpicking on my end, but I’m someone who likes to have my details cemented. It makes it a lot easier to come to a conclusion that I’m confident about. And if there’s one thing my friends and family say I suffer from, it’s a lack of self-confidence. That’s what self-confidence is, right? It’s when you’re sure of your opinions on sightings of toothless gargoyles in shrubs.
Nitpicking and joking aside, this theory’s within the realm of reason. While it would require a lot of work on the end of the prankster, people are willing to go to some extreme lengths to do what they believe is fun. I could see someone creating a costume like this to freak people out of sheer boredom.
That said, I’ll never understand this line of thinking, but who am I to talk? I sit in my bedroom for hours on end, writing about weird stuff I find on the Internet or in the pages of books. It’s not like I’m the shining beacon of what constitutes “fun” in the eyes of most people. Anyway, onward, it’s time for the next theory!
7. A hoax
Welcome to About.com; this theory’s going to be a part of every single story we cover from it. I already went over in yesterday’s write-up about how people make up stuff on the Internet for any given reason. Attention, trolling, boredom, or some other innocuous reason. In other words, it’s the equivalent of pulling a prank, but you’re doing it from behind a keyboard.
More often than not, I’m skeptical of this theory because I question why anyone would put effort into submitting a story like this when there’s nothing to be gained from it. Granted, I have no idea how big About was when it was active. I don’t see any comment section or any other place where you could discuss what happened. So, the idea that this was done for attention or to troll those who believe in the paranormal seems unlikely.
Does that mean this theory is impossible? No, of course not. I’m merely skeptical of how likely it is that someone would take the time out of their day to craft something like this, post it to a website, and call it a day. While that happens nowadays on sites like 4chan and Reddit, those also allow for replies.
The only real gain I see from faking this is having the story posted. However, that seems like a comically low bar to cross. I could easily go to any ghost encounter website and make up a story about seeing an apparition at a relative’s house or while at an old building. Anyone can do it, even in the early days of the Internet. What’s the point?
I suppose the feeling of tricking people would provide a small dopamine hit, but this brings me back to the issue of there being no comment section. Greg would never be able to reap the fruits of his efforts. So, like any good detective story, we’re back at square one. How fun!
Rather than go in circles like my brain does when my hypomania flares up, I’ll round this theory off here. You can look at this one of two ways. The first is the way that I presented it. The other is that Greg did make everything up and that I’m a dunce for overcomplicating things. Both, in my eyes, are perfectly reasonable, but I maintain my position. If there’s nothing to properly gain from doing it, then why bother?
Unless Greg and the others made these stories up in hopes that someone like me would come along one day and waste time writing about them. I think I proposed this idea last year. If I did, then talk about thinking ahead on the end of the hoaxers! The joke’s on them, though, because I love covering this stuff!
8. An alien
This theory posits three things. The first is that Greg had a close encounter with an extraterrestrial. I believe that that much is obvious.
The second thing is that aliens are incapable of looking like they wouldn’t be laughed out of a room if they revealed themselves to us. If the stories I’ve covered are any indication, our space-faring friends were on the short end of the stick when it came to the looks department during the universe’s formation.
The third is that aliens are applicable to every single mystery that has ever existed. Between you and me, ET wanted to phone home because he was about to be implicated in the Iran-Contra scandal.
Jokes aside, this theory exists mostly because I included it in the “Gargoyle at the Window” write-up as a joke, and I wanted to slot it in here for the sake of laughs. Well, that and I think aliens are bound to be brought up whenever there’s a sighting of a mysterious creature.
Let’s get the biggest issue out of the way first: There were no lights in the sky or anywhere else preceding or succeeding Greg’s sighting. Generally, when someone has a “close encounter of the third kind” (which means that someone saw an extraterrestrial; interaction doesn’t matter, as far as I’m aware), a UFO was seen in the area before or after. No such activity was present here. If it was, Greg didn’t include it or didn’t see it.
Setting that issue aside, I won’t lie; if this was an alien, it would explain how the face seemingly concealed the rest of its body. If this were an alien, it would have hyper-advanced technology that would let it blend in with its surroundings.
That said, the question then becomes why an extraterrestrial decided to gawk at Greg with a sneer on its face. One would think that an alien would do everything it can not to be seen on another planet. Maybe aliens are great at technology but lack common sense. That would explain why they forget to turn their high beams off when they’re in the sky.
Beyond my own thoughts, there’s nothing to indicate this was an alien. However, because I think it’s technically possible, I believe it was worth acknowledging at the very least. Besides, who doesn’t love blaming weird things on extraterrestrials? It’s not like they’re going to abduct you for it, right?
🛸
Oh. Crap.
9. A fallen angel
If an angel falls out of Heaven, does it take fall damage? Evidently not; our next theory is that God threw an angel out of Heaven for being as well-groomed as a Reddit moderator.
This was a meme theory in the “Gargoyle at the Window” write-up, and it’s basically a meme theory here, too. Why? Well, I like tying things together because it makes me happy. That, and I do have to admit that it would explain the face’s horrific appearance, its lack of wings, and the malevolence that Greg felt.
That said, that’s all the water this theory holds. It explains the scary look of the face, but it doesn’t have any merit—be it theological or cryptozoological.
At least, I don’t think it has any theological merit. As I’ve said in the past, I’m Roman Catholic, though I’m not a very well-versed Catholic. So, I don’t think angels are expelled from Heaven. A quick Google search reveals that they can sin, but I don’t know if that means immediate expulsion, especially with the Sacrament of Reconciliation (or Confession as it’s more commonly known).
I digress, though; I’m sure other sects of Christianity (not to mention other religions as a whole, be they Abrahamic or not) have their own views on this, so I won’t linger on it for too long. My main point is that if this was a fallen angel, then it was one who had either been here for a while or managed to manifest itself for some reason.
Now, how likely is this? Well, that depends very heavily on a number of things; your religious beliefs (or lack thereof), your interpretation of said beliefs, and if angels can even be cast out of Heaven.
Personally, I think that it’d be odd for an angel to be expelled if they were allowed into Heaven (not counting Satan, mind you), But, hey, that’s just me. Now, let’s move on before I get into the deep lore that people have created about how other cryptids are Biblical entities. I don’t want this to become a theological study with yours truly at the helm.
10. An interdimensional insurance agent trying to raise your premiums by scaring you with realistic gargoyle costumes
My goal for this month is to somehow, in some way, include a theory about an interdimensional something-or-other. In the case of this theory, it was an interdimensional insurance agent—the most devious and insidious kind of interdimensional being there is!
Jokes aside, you could make an argument that this was some creature from another dimension that crossed over into ours. I mean, the theory regarding the Fae already does that. So what’s stopping the theory that it was some other, unnamed species that wanted to survey us?
Well, to be quite honest, nothing.
Typically, I’d play the old “there is no evidence there are other realities” card here, but for the sake of argument, I won’t. Realistically, that’s gotten old, and it serves only to make this theory flounder when it could hypothetically have ground to stand upon. So, for once, I’ll say that, yeah, this is genuinely possible—even if it started off as a gag.
That said, the problem that’s plagued a multitude of other theories exists here. Namely, the one about whether it was standing or crouching. However, I’m willing to overlook a lot of other things because, if this was an interdimensional being, it’s possible it existed in some dimension where the rules of our universe don’t apply to it. So, hey, maybe the thing was on the ground like spilled soda, and the face was looking up at Greg in the form of a puddle.
Overall, if you believe in other dimensions and realities, this theory may be what you’re looking for. If not, then don’t worry; this theory won’t be a viable explanation for every single story I cover this month. It merely got its time to shine sooner rather than later. Pretend the sound of party favors filled the air and that I threw confetti here for Greg’s interdimensional freakazoid.
11. Or it was a Heartless
Kingdom Hearts in real life before Kingdom Hearts IV would be peak Kingdom Hearts.
My Take
As far as stories from About’s archives go, this is one that’s certainly tricky to rationalize in a way that doesn’t make me second-guess myself while explaining it. I attribute that primarily to the lack of details regarding the shrub’s size, along with Greg saying nothing regarding the face having a body. It’s because of those details that I didn’t bother giving this the “humanoid encounter” tag, by the way.
That trickiness aside, I believe that Greg likely saw a raccoon or some other small animal. Given that shrubs are known places where raccoons hide (and sometimes nest), I think it’s safe to assume that he saw the eye shine of one, got scared, and panicked when he saw it as it tried to scare him off.
While that may seem far-fetched, given the face doesn’t sound like a raccoon—and Greg didn’t notice any teeth within its mouth—it’s worth noting that Greg submitted this story nearly a year after he first saw the thing. I highly doubt he remembered everything clearly. I went over the imperfection of human memory yesterday, and I won’t repeat myself here, lest this write-up become another thesis on the topic.
Alternatively, and as I said earlier, Greg may have been tired and thought he was looking at something far scarier. Exhaustion can cause hallucinations, and Greg never stated if he was sleep-deprived. If he was, he could have outright hallucinated the entire thing. The only reason I didn’t make this its own theory is because I had nothing to go off of besides baseless assumptions.
With that said, I will concede that my take doesn’t answer one thing. Namely, why the heck didn’t the raccoon run away when Greg did? After all, he saw it from the window, staring back at him. More often than not, wild animals run away when they so much as hear a human.
Well, if I had to guess, it might’ve been defending its nest and felt safe with Greg gone. It’s also possible that Greg’s mind was playing tricks on him, and the raccoon (or whatever it was) ran off when he did.
Of course, I could be completely wrong. We’ll never know for certain, but I feel somewhat confident in my take; I believe that if it had been something like a cryptid, Fae, or alien, it wouldn’t have let Greg run away without at least trying to give chase.
Then again, with how allergic cryptids and extraterrestrials are to human settlements, maybe that’s why it was in the shrub. The jury’s out on Fae; I need more time to figure out their thoughts on suburban areas.
But, yeah, that’s my take. Now, there’s one final thing I want to do before we get to the conclusion; I want to circle back to when Greg asked what would have happened if he’d gotten closer to the creature in the shrub. I know that was much earlier, but I believe it’s important I address this because if this was a raccoon or any other animal, there is no guarantee that it would have run off.
But wait, how could that be? More often than not, people often tell you that wild animals are more afraid of you than you are of them.
Well, that may be true in most cases, but there’s one thing to bear in mind. Fear is an emotion that’s known for creating irrational decisions. That’s one reason characters in pieces of horror fiction often make the worst decisions. Fear drives them to irrationality.
Humans aren’t the only ones to act like that when consumed by fear. If a wild animal feels threatened or cornered, it’s likely to strike in a desperate attempt to escape.
What am I getting at with this? Well, while it may seem like an obvious thing, I feel obligated to say that approaching any wild animal—much like staring one in the eyes (as I addressed earlier in the write-up)—is a horrendous idea.
So, to answer Greg’s question, going up to whatever was in the shrub would’ve been a terrible idea. While animals are prone to fleeing when they see a human, they aren’t always going to do it. If you’re treading on their territory, or if you’re between them and their young, they can and will turn aggressive.
I’m sure most of you already know this, but I believe you can never be too safe—especially when it comes to dealing with wildlife. I may not be much of an outdoorsman myself, but I believe that necessary precaution is vital. So, as a safety tip from yours truly, if you want to observe wild animals, do so from a distance. Never approach them; respect nature, but do not, under any circumstances, think for a moment that a wild animal will behave the same way that your pet cat or dog does.
To round off this PSA, let me share a statistic with you. Tens of thousands of people in the United States alone are attacked by wild animals each year. While the vast majority survive, that doesn’t mean you should disregard what I’ve said. Any kind of animal can be a threat; it doesn’t need to be a bear or wolf that mauls you. Raccoons are also capable of causing severe lacerations and breaking your bones. So, please, be careful.
Conclusion
Like yesterday, this write-up ended up being far longer than I anticipated. That makes two of these in a row where that’s happened, and both times, it led to the write-up being five digits long. I have no idea how that happened. I swear, if that becomes a common theme this month, I’m going to reconsider how I write. I’m worried that it won’t be long before every write-up is its own book.
Oh well, maybe that’s for the better. I’m not entirely certain. If it is, then fantastic; I’m beyond thrilled that I can provide more thorough and insightful content to you all. If it’s not good, then I’ll make sure that I work to restrain myself from writing such unnecessarily long pieces.
Anyway, now that the case of the oh-so-enigmatic gargoyle in the shrub is done, I must ask: What do you think Greg saw? Was it nothing more than a wild animal? Or do you think there was something Fortean at play—or perhaps something extraterrestrial? I would love to know in the comment section since each comment I receive leads to a gargoyle receiving proper housing instead of being relegated to your local shrubbery.
That said, I bid you all adieu, but I hope to see you tomorrow morning. Also, as always, stay happy, stay healthy, and thank you for reading!
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