Something I’ve expressed a great deal of interest in doing is covering more stories from 4chan. Primarily cases from the site’s paranormal board, /x/, though I’m open to writing about tales from just about any board if it’s adequately strange enough.
Now, I have a feeling there are more than a few of you who find that idea rather silly. After all, 4chan is notorious for hoaxes and pranks; as such, covering the innumerable Fleshgait, UFO, cryptid, and ghost stories will result in me labeling the case a hoax more often than not.
However, the reason I want to start writing about the stories isn’t because I care about their veracity. Instead, it’s because I think the stories are just outright interesting; I find them creepy, and I’d like to share many of my favorite greentext horror stories with you. They’ve provided me with a lot of enjoyment throughout the years, and I think it could be fun to dedicate write-ups to them.
Last year, I covered a story called “The Screaming Stars,” which—aside from the numerous Conspiracy Iceberg cases that I’ve covered—remains the only greentext story I’ve covered on this blog. For those unaware, greentexts are the stories that utilize the > symbol prior to a sentence.
Now, originally, I’d planned to make Decemystery 2024 the year that I’d begin this trend. I had three stories picked out that I was eager to cover. However, they were all scrapped because I wasn’t confident I could do them justice. In hindsight, I’m sure I could’ve covered one of them and brought it to life in spades, but I digress. There’s always next year.
Despite wiping those three choices from the schedule, I still wanted to cover one spooky story from 4chan. So, I went looking for one. My options were plentiful, but one stood out to me. It’s a case that doesn’t feature anything I mentioned earlier; we’re not going into the realm of the paranormal or supernatural today, dear reader. No, today, we’re tackling something that falls into a rather unique category. It’s a creepy tale that leaves me feeling uncomfortable.
Hailing from /x/, this is a story that I called A 4channer’s Disturbing VHS Discovery. It’s one that I’m pretty sure I heard a great many years ago. And now, at long last, I’ll finally begin what I hope will become a tradition like with the Conspiracy Iceberg. Come along, dear reader; it’s time for us to journey to the Internet’s most infamous image board and see what terrifying tale awaits us in its archives this time!
Coming Soon to Home Video
I don’t remember where I found this story initially. I’m sure it was one of the many scary greentext channels on YouTube several years ago, but the exact one eludes me. If I had to guess, I’d say it was Keque, as he was among the first channels I listened to.
What I can say with absolute confidence is that I rediscovered it on Reddit earlier this year, specifically the rather dead subreddit “4chan Horror,” under the post “Anon Finds a Spooky VHS.” How fitting that I’d find a worthwhile story to cover from 4chan on the site that’s considered its exact opposite. Yin and yang are inseparable, like it or not.
The post shared on Reddit was made on June 6, 2021. I’m aware that the Reddit post lists it as June 7, but I’m guessing the Redditor’s time zone was different. Regardless, that was a repost of the original story, which was made the day prior. Both threads the story was shared in were dedicated to greentexts and personal experiences of the 2spooky4me kind.
I can’t believe I just typed that without hesitation.
Anyway, the story. Given the nature of 4chan and its anonymity, I’ll refer to the main poster as Howard. According to him, he was 8 years old back in the 1990s. I considered trying to discern how old Howard could’ve been, but I’m terrible at math, and it’s ultimately a minuscule detail. Also, it’s the day after Thanksgiving; I’m not about to make my brain feel like it was hacked to bits by John Carver.
My excuses aside, Howard was “at a friend’s house after school.” For the sake of consistency, we’ll call this friend Terry. Terry’s family had an “extensive VHS collection,” and the duo were “going through them” because they wanted to watch a movie. Might I recommend one of the greatest action films ever made: Terminator 2: Judgment Day?
While the two sought a film that was likely not rated R (or had yet to be released, which I’d find most unfortunate), Terry was “called upstairs by his dad.” Howard didn’t pay much mind to it as Terry’s dad “was a bit of a hardass,” so he figured that his dad was going to reenact every John Hughes movie where the adults are somehow, in some way, not cool.
That’s what John Hughes did, right? I don’t think I’ve seen any of his movies outside of the first Home Alone.
While Terry was upstairs, presumably being lectured about how his grades in school were not adequate enough to result in an allowance raise, Howard continued looking for a movie. Eventually, he found one, which he believed “was one of the Ernest movies.”
For those who are too young to know what those were, Ernest P. Worrell—played by the late Jim Varney—was a character who was featured in an array of television commercials. His popularity led him to receive ten movies (one was a cameo, one received a limited release, and three were direct-to-video releases) between 1985 and 1998. There’s your cinematic history lesson for today; remember to study for the test tomorrow. Now, back to the scary story.
Upon taking the film off the shelf, Howard discovered that “the tape [didn’t] match the cover” as it was “missing the label with the movie[‘s] title.” I want to say upfront that I grew up when VHS was still around, but my memory of it is very vague at best. Despite that, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t too uncommon for the labels to peel off. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.
Deciding that he wanted to watch some wacky hijinx of the Tennessean kind, Howard put the tape into the VCR. However, instead of being greeted by one of the “Ernest” films, he discovered that it was a recording of Terry and his family.
According to Howard, it looked like “a home movie.” He assumed that someone had “set up a tripod in the doorway of the living room” since you could “see the whole room in a wide shot.” I know nothing about how to frame shots, so I’ll pretend that I know what Howard meant. My expertise falls into writing about stuff like this, not everything that’s talked about by the eyewitness.
Regardless of framing details, Howard said that Terry’s mom and dad were “sitting on the couch” and “spaced apart.” Meanwhile, Terry and his sister were on individual chairs opposite their parents.
At first, this sounds like a home movie of the family playing a board game or a game of cards. You know, something cute and pleasant that’d bring back happy memories.
However, that wasn’t the case here. You see, the first 30 seconds of the video were eventless. No games, no chatter, nothing. It was like they were a family of mannequins rather than the people instead of the people Howard had no doubt interacted with on many occasions.
Still, Howard’s curiosity outweighed his sense of unease. So, he pressed fast-forward in hopes that something—anything—would happen.
Nothing did.
Terry and his family remained sitting in their respective seats, doing nothing. Nobody moved. Nobody spoke.
This, predictably, unsettled Howard greatly. He got the feeling that there was “something weird” and twisted about the tape. I concur; your friend’s art project was put in a box dedicated to Ernest P. Worrell. When I think of Ernest, I think of a complete and total lack of vigor.
Oh well, whatever. After a bit, Howard heard his friend returning. Not wishing to be caught watching what was undoubtedly meant to be private, Howard ejected the tape and placed it back into the box.
After that, Howard said he had never inquired about it and that Terry moved away at some point. If that lack of detail annoys you, welcome to the world of greentext stories. They’re meant to be short, sweet, and to the point.
The post ends with Howard saying that he still thinks about the tape on occasion. Personally, I believe there are other pieces of cinema worth remembering, like Ringu.
That, dear reader, is where the story ends. There were three replies to the repost made on June 6, but none of them are worth bringing up as they don’t expand upon what we already know. Howard’s original post received no responses, which is shocking because I think this story is really unsettling. It’s weird. There’s no other word to describe it. It’s just weird.
Despite that weirdness, I absolutely love it. It gets under my skin and freaks me out in a way that few other greentext stories do. But I digress; there will be time for praising the story later. Finding additional information about this case is out of the question since it’s a personal story that was told on 4chan. So, rather than delay, I think it’s about time we get into the theories. Come along, dear reader; let’s speculate with what little we have to work with.
Theories
1. It’s real in the most interdimensional way possible
I’m too lazy to think of a good way to use “interdimensional” for a theory today, so this is what I’m settling on.
The first theory is that, for reasons I cannot fathom, Terry and his family opted to record themselves while they were playing the world’s most intense game of Simon Says. Evidently, Simon had told the four of them to look Medusa in her beautiful eyes.
Trying to back the idea that this was a real story up without Howard having provided any additional information is among the most difficult things to do. Even if I were to compare it to a case from About, this would still be harder. Why? Well, there’s virtually no precedent for something like this.
Strange videos are by no means odd. Plenty of weird art projects have been posted on YouTube in the past. Heck, I could record a bizarre video and randomly leave it around for someone to find. There’s dictating that it can’t happen.
That said, there’d be a motive there; I’d want to prank someone—anyone—who finds it and then read about it (should it be featured in a news article somewhere). I’d also want to creep them out, but I believe that goes without saying.
In the case of the video Howard watched, it’s a lot harder to discern what the motive was. The first place my mind goes to is that it was an art project Terry’s sister made for school. However, we’re not told how old his sister was, and I don’t understand what the artistic merit would be here.
Now, yes, I know that art is subjective. However, the idea of watching four people sit still for a while sounds silly. Unless there was a speech to go along with it that went something like, “This represents what it’s like when you waste your time. So, do yourself a favor and be proactive.”
Should that not be the case, it’s possible that Terry’s parents were in some weird cult. As baffling as that may sound, I would be lying if I said that the vibe I get from reading about the tape makes me ask my computer screen, “Are you guys in a cult?”
The computer screen doesn’t respond back, but that’s because we’re no longer on speaking terms after I learned it wasn’t a fan of Phil Collins’ music.
On a more serious note, this is a genuine possibility in my eyes. While the concept of cults is associated with people in robes, chanting, and charismatic leaders, the traditional depiction isn’t accurate for all. More often than not, a cult amounts to a group of people who listen to someone who, by all accounts, is little more than a better-than-average self-help guru.
As such, depending on where this story took place, I could definitely see this video being a recorded session of the family either praying or meditating. If that sounds far-fetched, I highly recommend reading about some smaller cults. Not all of them will be like the Manson Family, Jonestown, or Heaven’s Gate.
That said, an oddball cult practice isn’t the only possibility. There’s one more way for this theory to work that I’ll address, and it’s the most upbeat and light-hearted one of them all—albeit it’s still really strange. Then again, everything about this story is strange in some capacity.
Simply put, it’s very likely the tape could’ve been an eccentric idea that Terry’s parents had to create a memento of them. Why? Well, parents—and close-knit families as a whole—relish preserving memories. Back in the 1990s (and before that), VHS was the most popular way to do that. Well, outside of taking pictures, but that’s a given.
Given how offbeat some people can be, I could see Terry’s parents doing this—especially if their parents were hippies and had them meditate or just sit around and “appreciate life” in some obtuse manner. Perhaps, in their minds, it might’ve made perfect sense and been as normal as having cereal for breakfast.
Of course, all theories have their downsides, and this one’s got more than a few. However, because this story only has two theories, I’ll save most of them for the next one. That said, I’ll note two of them now.
The first and most obvious is that this is 4chan. As I said in the intro, the website is notorious for hoaxes and pranks. This led the website’s random board, /b/, to be given the following disclaimer:
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Now, granted, this isn’t always the case. There are posts on 4chan that aren’t fictional. However, if you take everything you read on the site as fact, you’re going to have egg on your face. On the bright side, you can try to make scrambled eggs with said egg. Yummy.
Anyway, when it comes to a board like /x/, you have to treat the many scary accounts the way you’d treat a campfire story. If you don’t, you’d think that every square inch/square centimeter of the United States was inhabited by a Pale Crawler.
While this doesn’t disprove the story, not keeping this in mind is the single most nonsensical thing you could do. Take it from someone who’s lurked on /tv/ and /v/ (4chan’s television & film and video gaming boards, respectively) for a long while. The ratio of true stories to fake ones is somewhere around 1 in 250.
That’s a guess. Don’t hold me to that.
Moving on from that flaw, the second one is that Howard never brought this up to anyone. I find that incredibly hard to believe. If he was 8 years old, I’d expect him to babble about it to his parents.
While I may be 28 and therefore can’t rely on my memory from 20 years ago all that well, I can safely say that my childhood friends would yap about everything. I’m pretty sure they’re one of the main reasons that I have severe trust issues.
Oh well, whatever. Candidness aside, it’s safe to say that this theory isn’t exactly that strong. However, that’s to be expected when you’re dealing with a story from a website like 4chan. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that’s part of the site’s appeal. You can make up whatever crazy story you want and share it; the worst you’ll get is mean replies.
That said, I’ll be a bit lenient and acknowledge that no part of this story necessarily sounds implausible. Sure, there’s no proof to back it up, but as an anecdotal case by an anonymous user, I could see it happening. After all, some people are strange, and every family has its quirks.
Anyway, that brings our first theory to an end. Now, it’s time to dive into the second one; the belly of the beast. The idea that it was a hoax. If that revelation surprises you, did you know that Decemystery 2024 is ongoing? You didn’t? Now you do! Surprises for everyone, and it’s not even Christmas yet!
2. It’s fake
Since I already went over two of the flaws, I see no point in recounting them. No, I don’t want to pad out the word count this time. I know, how shocking!
There are a handful of other things going for this theory, though. The first reason I’d like to bring up is why the VHS was misplaced. Whether this was something insidious or innocuous is irrelevant. If it were something personal, you’d think that a lot more care would be put into ensuring it didn’t get misplaced—like in a completely unrelated box.
Not only that, but you’d also think it would have its own label. The fact this one was apparently unlabeled is really strange—and remarkably convenient. So, this mysterious home video just so happened to be unmarked? If it’s a home video, why on God’s green Earth would you not mark it as such? I believe that the last thing you want is to lose something so precious.
Admittedly, you could argue that Terry watched it on his own and misplaced it. After all, 8 years old can be relatively untidy (I can speak from experience, despite being a neat freak nowadays). Additionally, you can argue that this is why Terry was called upstairs; his dad reprimanded him for putting the VHS back in the wrong box.
However, I’d counter by saying that if that were the case, Terry would’ve likely brought the VHS back to his dad. Or there’d be some clue about him being hesitant to go near the box of whichever “Ernest” film it was.
At the same time, it’s possible that Howard’s memory was failing him, given that this happened over 20, if not 30, years ago. I’d say that it’s highly probable that he could’ve forgotten a lot of specifics. I’ve brought up the imperfections of human memory several times this month, so I won’t go into detail about it. Just know that as time goes on, your memory doesn’t remain as clear as your 4k television. It typically ends up like a degraded videotape.
Besides that, there’s also the matter of how we know nothing about Terry’s family. All we know is that his father was “a bit of a hardass,” which doesn’t mean much. Plenty of parents fit that description; I’d love to have known if Howard found Terry’s parents suspicious or enigmatic in any way. If that were the case, there’d be more of a reason to suspect them of being in some sort of cult or having practiced something weird.
On the other hand, we don’t know when Terry moved. If it were shortly after the incident, then I’d actually be inclined to think there was something up. Granted, I’d think that while taking enough grains of salt to build a bridge to Sedna, but I digress. That’s just me giving the benefit of the doubt.
The last thing I’ll note that goes in this theory’s favor is that we don’t know where it took place. Although this may seem like a small issue, there are plenty of small communes that can have their own local cults and spiritual groups. If this occurred in, say, Maine, we could narrow down the list of suspects to lobster fishermen who worship the works of H.P. Lovecraft, a group of Stephen King aficionados, or The Spectral Moose of Maine when it finally finds its long-lost owners.
If you can’t tell, I know nothing about Maine.
As for where this theory falls flat, I can’t think of much. While I could ask why Howard would make the story up, it’s worth remembering that this is 4chan. If I’d expect a fake story from anywhere on the Internet, it’d be 4chan, especially on a thread dedicated to sharing scary stories.
Beyond that, I think the only glaring issue is that it doesn’t sound all that fantastical, but I already went over this before. To reinforce it, though, a plethora of the other stories I want to cover from 4chan are so outrageously over-the-top and chaotic that it’s hard for me not to go, “Okay, this was made up, but I relish how crazy it is.” This, on the other hand, gives me an unsettling vibe that it could have happened.
Nevertheless, of the two theories, this is definitely the more logical. But if you’re like me and prefer keeping the door open for being proven wrong, I fully understand. I mean, weirder things have come out of 4chan. If you’ve read anything that has the Conspiracy Iceberg tag, you’d know that.
Anyway, that’s all I’ve got. I know that some of you may have wanted a bit more meat to the theories, but there’s only so much I can discuss before I’m talking in a circle. So, rather than subject you to that, let’s see what the meme theory has in store for us and then get to my take!
3. It’s the rejected script for Sinister 3
Baghuul has really fallen on hard times since the abomination that was Sinister 2, so he’s now resorted to posting his fanfiction on 4chan. I hope he rebounds soon. I also hope he finds a consistent spelling for his name so I don’t see it spelled differently everywhere I look.
My Take
As I’ve said, I can definitely see this case being true. It doesn’t strike me as entirely nonsensical like many greentext stories. However, at the same time, I’m not about to wager on a story from /x/ being true without some semblance of proof. The nature of 4chan dictates that to be a reckless move, and I’d prefer to remain as down-to-earth as I can.
Because of that, I lean toward this being a hoax but a very unsettling one. I’ve always been a fan of subtle horror that feeds into things that are weird and off-putting, and this story achieves that in spades.
I’m sure plenty will disagree, and that’s fully understandable. However, for me, there’s something about discovering a VHS of your friend and his family sitting around doing nothing that disturbs me far more than any amount of gore and jump scares ever could.
Now, in the interest of fairness, I’ll offer my take on if Howard’s story were true. Should that be the case, I think this is some bizarre but relatively harmless case of the family recording themselves for some benign reason. As absurd as that may sound, I’ve known countless weird people in my 28 years alive to feel like type that and go, “Yeah, I’m not going to question it.”
I think there are plenty of strange traditions, rituals, and routines that families have that, to outsiders, would be baffling. However, to those within the family, it’s just normal; it’s like I said earlier about it being as normal as eating cereal for breakfast. If that were the case here, Howard likely stumbled across a quirk in Terry’s family.
Of course, with nothing to go on, I feel like I need to lean toward this being a hoax. Though, hey, I don’t care; I’m beyond happy that I got to share another creepy greentext with you, dear reader. I hope that next year, I’ll be able to share a few more that will certainly chill you to your core. But that’s for 2025. For now, we’re in 2024. What joy, am I right?
On one final note, I had no idea what to tag this story as. I opted for “Unexplained Event” and “Internet Mystery” nothing else really felt fitting. It is, technically, an odd event, and it originated from 4chan. However, both still feel fitting. Man, I need to go through my tags again and update them. It’s just another thing for me to do after Decemystery 2024 is done. God, I want to rest; how droll, given I was out of commission for over half the year.
Conclusion
You know, as of writing, I’m in the midst of an ever-worsening mixed episode. I mentioned this some days ago, but I feel the need to reinforce it. My bipolar disorder has been plaguing me more and more each day. It feels like I’m writing on autopilot, and I think it’s nothing short of a miracle that I managed to write this without it devolving into incoherent rambling. Thank God I still have medication that’s keeping me stable.
Well, as stable as writing all of these articles in the span of roughly five months can keep me. Trust me, I may be able to do it, but that doesn’t mean I do it easily.
Anyway, with the story now done, I would love to know not only your thoughts on Howard’s story but if you’d love to see me cover more greentexts! While I’d love to do them, I don’t want them to be purely self-indulgent. Your input means a great deal to me, dear reader, and I want you to have a say in things, too. I believe it’s only fair. So, leave a comment letting me know and, as always, stay happy, stay healthy, and thank you for reading!
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