Decemystery (2024) 27: The Bent Key

 

Well, this is disappointing. Today’s story was intended to be about something that I had teased in the inaugural write-up for this month. It was the story of a mother and son (or daughter; I’m pretty sure I got the details wrong) who shared the same dream. I was quite eager to cover the story until I realized I had 27 pages of material I needed to comb through.

The story I had planned for today originates from the Forteana Forums. I cannot—by any stretch of the imagination—write the entire thing in one go without sacrificing my physical and mental well-being. I may be willing to push myself past my limits, but this would’ve required me to stay up for over 24 hours if I wanted to put a dent in the story. As such, I’ve opted to put it—along with an absolutely bonkers UFO case—on the back burner until next year.

To say that I’m disappointed would be an understatement; I hate that I teased not one but two write-ups and had to yank them at the last second because I didn’t think to cover them sooner. But, hey, it’s not the first time that I’ve had to make schedule changes. I know it won’t be the last, either.

So, how does that tie into today’s write-up? Well, initially, I had no real worthwhile replacement. Given I had to make this change at the very last moment (I’m serious; I was at a Christmas get-together when I made the change), I had no idea what I’d do.

Ultimately, I decided I’d grab a random story from About—my favorite go-to source for random stuff to cover and call it a day—and hope that the apology I gave would be good enough. Yeah, I know that isn’t the best look, but I’m stressed beyond belief, and my brain isn’t exactly “all there.”

However, everything changed when I stumbled across one case: The Bent Key. At first glance, that title is about as uninteresting, lame, and innocuous as can be. In fact, it sounds like it doesn’t belong on a website like About, which has hosted such baffling cases as “The 20-foot-tall Monster in Montana” and “One Man’s Conversation with a Cat.”

To a degree, that assessment would be correct. This story isn’t as wild or outlandish as the other stories I’ve covered from there. However, it has one thing every other case lacks. What is that thing? Well, why should I spoil it? Come along, dear reader; let’s dive into the case of one man’s bent key and see what makes this special.

I’m Bad at Key-ping Promises

It’s been a while since I’ve done a terrible pun, so there you go. :)

As I said, this story originates from About and was submitted in May of 2004 by a man named “Henry R.” Let’s see what Henry had to say, shall we?

According to Henry, “This is not a hoax or a lie.” Well, I’ll be the judge of that, good sir—and so will my dear reader. Well, if they feel like it.

In all seriousness, Henry adds that he and his wife are “really concerned.” The week prior to submitting his case, they went shopping. After arriving at the store, Henry “parked and LOCKED the car with the key.” Yes, he used all capital letters for “locked.” That’s how you know he’s serious. It’s like when I used bold, italicized, and underlined words.

After purchasing whatever was needed from the store (I’m going to pretend they bought 30 pounds—or 13 kilograms—of toilet paper for my own amusement), the couple returned to their car. Henry “put the key to the car door lock” but found that it wouldn’t go in. This prompted his wife—who I’ll refer to as Jennifer—to tell him to “hurry up.” 

At that moment, the two realized that “the car key was bent and twisted on its axis.” Okay, that’s peculiar, but it’s hardly the weirdest thing on Earth. Maybe it got bent while the duo were shopping, right?

Well, no. Henry asserts that the key had never been out of his pocket while they were in the store. It had also not “been under any stress whatsoever” since it was last used. I’ll get back to this in the theories because I think Henry’s overlooking something very serious.

Lucky for the couple, Jennifer—who “was really afraid and alarmed” that the key had been bent—had a spare. So they were able to return home without needing assistance.

Now, here is what makes this case so special. If you noticed, I didn’t hyperlink the story at the start like I normally do. There’s a reason for that. I didn’t want you to look at the full story before you read through the sequence of events as Henry conveyed them due to a simple two-sentence-long paragraph that acts as a bigger bombshell than any plot twist in an M. Night Shyamalan film out there. Here’s what Henry had to say:

Here is a photo of it. It is actually more bent that [sic] it appears in the photo.

That’s right, dear reader. You were able to submit photos with reports to About.com. The header image for this write-up is the picture that Henry sent in.

Running Inhale.exe.

WHY THE HELL HAS NO OTHER REPORT I’VE COVERED EVER HAD A SKETCH OR IMAGE ATTACHED TO IT!?

Do you mean to tell me that this whole time—this entire time that I have spent wishing that About allowed for images, or may have allowed for them—that you could just add them!? So, you mean to tell me that every other write-up I did from this website could have had a visualization of the creature[s] in question? Or footprints? Or anything else!?

To say that I am mad would be an understatement. I’d never come across this story—not that I can remember, anyway—and feel like I need to reassess how many of these cases are, in fact, hoaxes. Why? Well, as far as I’m aware, Henry’s image isn’t a stock photo from the Internet. It looks legitimate.

That begs the question of why, on God’s green Earth, everyone else was too lazy to try and draw stick figures that gave an idea of size comparison or an outline of a footprint. I suck at drawing—trust me, I can barely draw decent stick figures—but Henry is the only one who thought to himself, “Hey, I should include a picture to prove my case so people won’t think I’m a goddamn liar!”

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

If I didn’t like trying to keep this blog PG-13, I would be talking like my name is Terrence Fletcher!

Running exhale.exe.

Okay, I’ll stop ranting. I don’t want you to think that I’ve lost my mind, thanks to a write-up. So, let’s get back on track; Henry’s report is almost done, anyway, and there will be time to discuss why this article got a picture in the theories.

According to Henry, this wasn’t the time this happened to him. It’d happened 17 years prior, in 1987, with another pair of car keys. There was also an experience he had “earlier” with a house key. I don’t know if he means it’d happened earlier than ‘87. It sounds like he does; keep this in mind for the theories because it’s important.

Henry ends his report by saying that his wife “was skeptical the last time” but now believes him because she “saw it with her own eyes last week!” And by “last week,” I, Vertigo, mean “almost 25 years ago.”

Sheesh, 2004 is just short of being a quarter of a century ago. I’m practically a fossil now.

Anyway, that’s where Henry’s report ends; he provides no additional details on the other two incidents. It’s a shame because I would’ve liked to have known a bit more. 

On its own, it’s a far cry from the outlandish tales we’ve discussed this month. However, the revelation that About allowed for images is in and of itself worthy of having it get a slot toward the end of Decemystery—a time that I reserve for the weirdest of the weird.

That said, I would be lying if I said I didn’t find Henry’s case odd. I mean, having your keys bent three times is a peculiar thing. So, what could have caused them to happen? Well, let’s use the skeleton that I was busy making while telling you this story and speculate together! Come along; it’s time for us to dig into the theories!

Theories

1. Something supernatural bent the key(s)

This is the only theory that isn’t a rationalization one. Really, there isn’t anything else to point the finger at. It isn’t like Slender Man swiped Henry’s keys, bent them, put them back, and went home so he could upload the footage to ForteanTube as a sick prank video.

In fact, Henry himself doesn’t speculate on what may have caused the keys to have bent. His theorizing begins and ends with, “I had them in my pocket, but there wasn’t any stress applied to them that would’ve caused them to bend.”

That means—outside the realm of rationalizing—the only “fun” or “true believer” theory I can put forward is that a supernatural force did it. There’s nothing to back this up, though. Absolutely nothing.

Okay, that isn’t entirely true. There are stories of ghosts manipulating objects. Poltergeists, in particular, have been said to throw things around. However, Henry never described any paranormal activity. It’d be really bizarre for a ghost to latch onto him solely to mess with his keys, of all things. That’s just about the most benign thing imaginable.

Couple that with the large gap in time (17 years for the previous set of car keys and presumably more for the house key), and I doubt that this was the work of a ghost. If it was, then it’s clearly the same one from Paranormal Activity because it’s astronomically lazy.

That said, I won’t rule this out on the basis that there is a chance Henry didn’t include plenty of details. This is a common issue with cases from About, and I really wish it wasn’t. However, on the upside, I can safely say that I do have a few stories waiting that offer a remarkably solid amount of information; it’s a shame I didn’t get the chance to cover them this year.

On the other hand, it’s entirely Henry either overlooked that or omitted it because he was nervous people wouldn’t take him seriously. Unless he sent in another report later on, it’s likely we’ll know. I will say that it’s possible; I’ve never looked through every archived story on About.

Ultimately, I think it’s up to you if you think that this theory has any merit. I know it’s a bit scattershot, but I wanted there to be something from the paranormal angle, and this was the best I could do. While I believe it holds little weight, don’t let that deter you from entertaining it. After all, what is life without a little bit of fun?

2. It was natural

Arguably the most plausible theory, this one hinges on one thing: Henry didn’t know how easy it is for keys to bend.

As you undoubtedly know, certain materials bend more than others. This applies to metals. Some are a lot more versatile than others and are likewise more susceptible to being bent. This includes brass and aluminum, both of which are easily bendable.

If Henry haphazardly went to lock his car, it’s likely he didn’t realize he’d bent the key while doing so. The same could go for the other two incidents he mentioned; if they were made of something that wasn’t durable, he probably bent them, too.

Logically speaking, this is the theory that sits right with me the most. However, there is one issue, and it’s something that I cannot get the answer to because I can’t reach out to Henry; I don’t know what type of metal the keys were made of.

If the keys were made of hardened steel, then I’d be inclined to doubt that they were bent naturally (though I know absolutely nothing about metals, so feel free to correct me here). However, as it stands, all I can do is assume, and I don’t feel like doing that too much. Not after learning you can have images with reports on About!

One chill pill later, and I feel safe in saying that that’s all there really is to say about this theory. I wish I could say more and expand upon it vastly, but my lack of knowledge about metals, coupled with my hesitation about spending too much researching it, leaves me in a tight bind.

Ultimately, I think I’d say that this is likely what happened: A simple accident made by someone who was potentially in a rush. After all, Henry said that Jennifer told him to “hurry up” when he was trying to unlock the car. It’s possible she was excited to go shopping; heck, perhaps both of them were. Maybe a birthday was coming up in May, and they wanted to get some presents for whoever’s birthday it was.

But I digress. That isn’t the final theory. There’s one more I want to go over, so let’s get to it. Time to speculate that it was a hoax for the twenty-eighth time this month! Oh, what fun; I can’t wait to do it four more times after today!

3. A hoax

This theory has the exact same problems as yesterday’s write-up—namely, Henry’s age. While he didn’t specify it, I get the impression that he was around the age of Victoria (the lady from yesterday’s Decemystery entry), if not older. He did say that the same thing happened to him in 1987 with another pair of car keys and “earlier” with a house key.

I have to imagine he was at least in his twenties when the incident with his car keys happened, but I could be wrong. Meanwhile, the house key could have been one given to him by his parents. However, if he happened to own a home before the Bend of ‘87, I would hazard a guess and say that Henry was born in the 1940s or 1950s, 

But let me take a step back and be fair to this case. There’s nothing that dictates this cannot be a hoax. There’s always the possibility that the person who sent the report was a teenager or young adult who wanted to have their story posted for laughs.

It’s also possible that Henry, despite his age, wanted to see if he could get it posted because he was a lifelong skeptic. There are plenty of skeptics who perpetrate hoaxes to prove a point about gullibility or to showcase how easy it is to fake something. There’s no reason to doubt that this wasn’t the case in that regard—in my eyes, anyway.

Additionally, there’s the matter of the photo that was used not being found when I tried using a reverse image search…

Well, kind of.

When I checked a second time, I used Google Lens, and it said there was a result on a website called “Slide Player,” which is used for sharing presentations and other things. However, the presentation in question doesn’t have the image. Not that I can see, anyway. 

On top of that, I tried searching through a basic Google reverse image search and got no results. So, either Google Lens was lying to me, or I’m blind. I had my glasses on at the time, so I’m doubtful of the latter. Or, hey, maybe my eyesight is worse than I originally thought!

Even then, there’s one other thing that bothers me. As I’ve said in the previous write-up (and many times before that), I cannot fathom doing something like this without having something to gain from it, especially when you didn’t insinuate that there was something paranormal behind it.

Really, that’s what makes this theory so hard to believe. If it was a hoax, Henry’s attempt at it is the most benign and uninteresting hoax of all time. He made a fake story about his key being mysteriously bent. He didn’t insinuate that anything otherworldly did it. At least, not to me. He said he swore there was no stress applied to it, but that’s hardly grounds for him claiming ghosts did it.

But, hey, people have perpetrated hoaxes for less—or even nothing at all. So, like the first one, I won’t outright dismiss this as an impossibility or improbability. It’s just that it doesn’t really sit right with me; that’s all I’m trying to say.

4. The anti-skeleton key interdimensional gang did it

You have no idea how hard it was for me to think of a way to slot “interdimensional” into this write-up without slacking off and just saying, “interdimensional beings did it.” Thank God I’m almost done with this month and can lay this stupid gimmick to rest. You know, like how Henry laid his keys to rest.

My Take

Personally, I think the keys were bent naturally, likely without Henry realizing how easy it is to bend a key under the right conditions—and often without the person realizing it. It’s possible that when Henry was locking the car door, he bent it because he did it swiftly and carelessly.

While there’s no way for me to prove this (it’s not like Henry left his contact information in his report), I’d say it’s the safest and most likely bet to make. We’re dealing with a case that’s only as bizarre as we make it out to be. As such, I think Occam’s Razor should be applied.

Of course, it’s possible that there is another explanation that I overlooked. If that’s the case, let me know. I believe my outburst may have resulted in a good portion of my brain short-circuiting. Seriously, that annoyed me more than it should have when I first saw it.

I will concede that the hoax theory isn’t without merit. If I did somehow overlook the image on Slide Player, I think it’d lend some level of credence to it, but I’m skeptical of it being the case because I can’t see a motive for making up a story this inoffensive and, honestly, lame.

That said, if this were a hoax, it still doesn’t excuse every other case that’s been submitted for not including a sketch when it was apparently readily available! I swear that learning you were able to do that is going to give me an aneurysm.

Speaking of that, I would like to let Henry know that he has singlehandedly raised the bar for every story I cover from About from here on out. In doing so, he’s made my job a thousand times harder. I sincerely thank you, Henry, and I hope you stub your toe against a table.

Conclusion

This was a pleasantly enjoyable story to cover—the fact it now makes every story from About require a lot more scrutiny notwithstanding. It reminds me that I don’t need these write-ups to be long and highly detailed. Sometimes, they need to be brisk and bring to you the fun that I experienced while covering them.

Or, in today’s case, the fun and frustration.

Anyway, I think that wraps up this write-up. As I said before, let me know if there’s a theory that I may have glossed over. If you don’t believe I did, then let me know what you think happened to Henry’s key. Did he anger the spirit of a locksmith? Or was it purely an accident? Or did Henry inexplicably fake the whole thing? Let me know in the comments, and, as always, stay happy, stay healthy, and thank you for reading!