So, yesterday, I said I had scrapped two stories. One of them was an absolutely wild and crazy story involving extraterrestrials. In truth, I could have covered it, but I’d prefer it if I had a few days to work on it. As it stands, I’m writing these articles the day before they go up.
However, I did want to somehow keep my word by providing one final whacky foray into the realm of aliens—even if it wasn’t the story I’d planned to cover. Lucky for me, I had no shortage of stories to pick from!
While most think of Greys when they think of extraterrestrials, the truth is that there are numerous types of aliens in ufology. Don’t believe me? Go look at the “UFO/Aliens” tag on this blog. Alternatively, go look at the intro to “The 8-foot-tall Alien of Fort Wayne,” where I listed out a bunch of cases I’ve covered.
When deciding on which case to go with, I considered going to the database of the National UFO Reporting Center (NUFORC) to poach a story that sounded odd.
However, I quickly opted against that when I was browsing through my Google documents. Yes, just like the other day with “The Ghost Who Took a Pair of Socks,” my own archive came to the rescue. How quaint.
Just like the story mentioned earlier, this one was planned for last year’s Decemystery duology and even briefly on the schedule for this year—I think. It might’ve been one that got added and subsequently removed about a dozen times because I can be woefully indecisive.
Today, dear reader, we’ll be taking a look at… well, just read the title of the write-up. Despite the lack of a head, it speaks for itself. If you’re unable to hear its voice, it’s known as the case of The Head-scratching Encounter with Headless Aliens! Now, strap in, dear reader, because this is going to get oh-so-delightfully weird—and absolutely ridiculous.
Headlong Rush
I found today’s Decemystery entry on the Paranormal World Wiki. It’s been a while since I’ve used a story from here, hasn’t it? I’m a bit disappointed I didn’t opt to visit it more, but I can’t undo the past.
Anyway, while I found the case there, the author of the Wiki cites Think About It Docs as their source. Hey, another website I neglected this year. Oh well, it’ll get more time to shine next year—hopefully.
Think About It Docs, in turn, cites C.C. Warren of “Contact UK.” I have no idea who C.C. Warren is (or was), nor do I know what “Contact UK” is (or was). All I know is that I’m three sources deep, and I feel that if I go any deeper, I’ll end up in the plot of a Christopher Nolan movie.
That’s the fourth time I’ve mentioned the now-knighted director of Interstellar this month. If I don’t reference him anymore, 12.5% of Decemystery 2024’s 32 write-ups will have featured his name! There’s some pointless trivia for you. Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
In all seriousness, I can find absolutely nothing on “C.C. Warren” or “Contact UK” whatsoever. Given that this case occurred in September of 1973, though, it’s possible that the person in question has since retired and that “Contact UK” is defunct.
Anyway, let’s get to the story. Our eyewitness today was a 4-year-old boy from “the Kingsfield District of Woking, Surrey, England.” Keep that age in mind because if I wanted to, I could end the write-up here. Unfortunately, I already made that gag the other day when I covered the idea that Apollo 11 Landed on the Wrong Moon.
I’ll refer to today’s witness as Phillip. Why? Because I have The Witch on my mind. You know, that Robert Eggers movie. The one with the scary goat.
At 3:00 a.m., Phillip awoke to a “rising-and-falling humming sound.” After realizing it was the reverberations from Big Ben going off, Phillip awoke to a “rising-and-falling humming sound” that didn’t sound like a giant clock tower.
Instead, the sound was coming from somewhere else. Where? We’ll get to that in a moment. For now, little Phillip had to contend with the headless man with enormous six-fingers standing at the foot of his bed. It was also wearing a “tight-fitting suit” that was either black or dark grey in color. It also sported a “black belt” that would expand and contract as it breathed. This is despite its lack of a head.
I guess it breathed with its feet.
Last but certainly not least, the absolutely comical freakazoid had a “black strap attached to a radio-like object” on its right arm. This object also had antennae on it, which makes me desperately want to know why this thing evolved to look like a creature from Spore if it got hit by a hummer.
For reasons unknown, the being “suddenly vanished.” Despite this, Phillip was able to see not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, but six other “similar entities” that were outside of his bedroom door.
May I ask how Phillip’s bedroom was set up so he could notice them out there? Also, how’d a 4-year-old manage to accurately count half a dozen headless aliens that look this abominable?
Ah, whatever; I’ll criticize that later. For now, all you need to know is that these headless aliens also vanished. Evidently, they’re not fond of being seen by children. This is despite them not having eyes; maybe they’re like us when we get the feeling we’re being watched.
Not disturbed by the seven late-night visitors (because when has a child ever properly reacted to something this horrifying in something I’ve written about?), Phillip ran to his bedroom window so he could see what was outside. Why’d he go there first? I have no idea. I wish I did; it’d make the fact I’m writing this after being on the road for 15 hours worth it!
Whatever the reason was, Phillip’s desire to look out his bedroom window wasn’t all for naught. Outside, he saw “a blue-domed disc-shaped craft parked on the garden lawn.” That’s right, the aliens didn’t even have the decency to park where they wouldn’t crush the flowers Phillip’s family worked to nurture. What a bunch of jerks; I’m contacting Tony Blair 30 years in advance to notify him about this!
I don’t know many British Prime Ministers prior to Mr. Blair. I only know of Winston Churchill and Margaret Thatcher.
Now that my sternly written letter has retroactively been written, I say it’s time for us to get back on track. Phillip also noticed that the craft was “resting on 4-wheeled legs.” It also had “black portholes.” He also saw some aliens (presumably the same headless types he saw in his bedroom) climbing a ladder into the UFO.
I’m guessing that in 1973, aliens hadn’t invented abduction beams they could use to get themselves into their spaceships.
But, yes, Phillip said that he watched a few of the aliens “climbing a ladder back into the UFO.” At that point, he ran to wake his mom to tell her that seven headless aliens had watched him in his bedroom before they disappeared, so he got up to look out his window and saw a few of them climbing a ladder into their disc-shaped submarine.
That makes perfect sense if you apply enough blunt-force trauma to your head to remove it.
To my surprise, Phillip’s mom didn’t tell him to bugger off to bed. Instead, she got up to investigate. However, by the time she arrived (whether it was at the window or outside. it wasn’t stated), the UFO was gone.
Interestingly, there is nothing about Phillip’s mom going outside to investigate for any imprints on the ground. This, to me, would be the most obvious thing to do. If you wanted to make sure your son wasn’t lying to you or had a bad dream, check the garden. Yet, as far as I can tell, that wasn’t done. How bizarre.
That’s where Phillip’s story ends. It’s a really short but downright baffling case. It must have lasted all of a few minutes—if that—and it’s got to be one for the record books. I don’t know where I would rank it in comparison to the other weird alien stories I’ve covered, but I think it’s a contender for the top five.
Anyway, enough dilly-dallying. I’m writing this less than 12 hours before it has to be posted, and I’d like to do this thing called “sleep” since I did very little of it last night. So, come along; let’s jump into the theories. No, we’re not climbing down a ladder. That’s for aliens who haven’t advanced past 10,000 B.C. or so.
Theories
1. Headless interdimensional beings
Let me go to bat for the first story. Okay, it’s the bottom of the ninth inning; bases are loaded. And, like a Gary Stu, I score a grand slam by knocking this theory out of the park—and with it, its head goes flying into deep space. Man, I’m so good at baseball.
I actually suck at baseball.
2. Aliens with no heads
This theory is horrifyingly difficult to do—especially with the comically high level of exhaustion I’m feeling right now. Still, I’m going to do it off the cuff because when have I ever been known to do stuff the healthy way?
You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that I lack a head. However, I’m not King Louis XVI, so I know I do.
Anyway, this theory’s main weakness is the appearance of these aliens. You know what? I didn’t do it at the start, but screw it; allow me to quote the fifth paragraph of The 8-foot-tall Alien of Fort Wayne, which I hyperlinked in the intro.
You see, in this blog’s life, I’ve covered a lot of weird alien sightings, and I don’t mean traditionally weird. I mean things that are just purely outlandish. I’m talking about stories of aliens that resemble metallic flowers, telepathic brains, beer cans, an “arboreal abomination” (that’s still a wickedly awesome name), multi-colored pyramid, penguins, tree stumps, a giant slug, a cloud, and aliens that apparently carjacked two drunk guys in Idaho.
Look at those. Look at all of those. Those things sound absurd at best and like bad jokes at worst. However, in my eyes, the vast majority are much less mind-boggling than headless aliens. Why?
BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO HEADS!
I cannot stress enough how utterly ludicrous it is to envision these things as lacking heads, one of the most basic features across every single animal on Earth (unless you want to argue about starfish, but I digress); these things lacked one. Unless their head was on their arm (which would leave my head scattered around the room), I have no clue what the hell to make of this.
Under normal circumstances, this issue would end the theory. However, there’s one thing that prevents it from being absolute nonsense—and I cannot believe I can type that with a straight face. What is that thing? Well, if you recall past my near-constant snarkiness, Phillip heard a “rising-and-falling humming sound.”
This would add a lot of veracity to why he looked out the window, something that I openly questioned but opted not to retort on because I felt it was better suited for here.
“But wait!” screeches a voice from the aether—and I’m amazed it isn’t an auditory hallucination from sleep deprivation. “How can you be so sure about this? After all, the eyewitness was 4 years old!”
Well, you insufferable voice who has become a recurring gag in these write-ups, that’s because my own mother reported the exact same thing when she saw a UFO.
That’s right, my mom—as in, the mother of the guy who operates this blog—saw a UFO. It was over a neighbor’s house, and she described it as producing a humming sound akin to a generator starting up. I want to write about her sighting one day, but I’m too lazy to ask her for details.
I’m a great son.
In all seriousness, I’d rather save it for something special, like Mother’s Day. Until then, that little detail is something that, while purely anecdotal, makes it hard for me to dismiss this theory outright. Even though I have never heard of aliens that looked like this before or since this case, I would be lying like a snake oil salesman if I said that this didn’t make me begrudgingly go, “Well, I can’t outright toss it in the trash…”
That said, I won’t deny that the abnormal appearance of the aliens is something that raises a lot of questions. I also think it’s peculiar that we weren’t given any details on whether there was any sign of something having landed on the garden lawn. One of the most common things discussed when there’s a UFO landing report are the impressions on the ground—and increased radiation levels around the area.
Here, however, there was no such information. Why was that? Did nobody check the garden lawn? Heck, did nobody notice the flowers begin to die because of the radiation? The last time I checked, high levels of radiation and flowers go together like fire and dead foliage.
Oh well, whatever. Ultimately, I guess it’s up to you as to whether or not you think these could have been headless aliens. If you do, more power to you! If not, then more power to you, too! We’re all entitled to our own opinions—and our own heads. These aliens, however, weren’t. I wonder why that is? Maybe they upset the CEO of Heads Incorporated.
Eh, whatever; it’s not my problem. My problem is the next theory, which is a staple of Decemystery. It’s also one that I cannot make heads (no pun intended) or tails of.
3. A headless hoax
This theory would have a lot more weight if there was more information on the story outside of a source that I can’t find anything on.
Under normal circumstances, that would be grounds for dismissing the story entirely. However, I’m someone who prefers to give the benefit of the doubt to a major fault. As such, while I can’t find anything about C.C. Warren or Contact UK, I still feel like there may be something out there that I’ve overlooked.
I also don’t know when this incident was reported. If it was done ten, twenty, or thirty years after the fact, then I feel like it’s a very outlandish hoax. However, the UFO/extraterrestrial community is notorious for hoaxes, So it’s possible that Phillip made this story up to showcase how gullible they can be.
If that were the case, then I think he did a horrendous job because this story has virtually zero recognition online, despite how absurd it is. It’s one of those stories you think would be picked up by every “Top 10 Weirdest Mysteries” YouTuber, but I only know of two websites that have covered it.
Well, technically, three; I’ve now covered it. Go me!
Honestly, I feel like this theory is in limbo—in a sense, anyway. I feel like there’s nothing going for or against it beyond the nature of UFOs and aliens as a whole. Yeah, there have been many hoaxes about them. However, that doesn’t immediately mean this one—in spite of its fantastical content—was a hoax. If that were the case, then countless unbelievable (but verifiably true) stories on Earth should be deemed fake.
“But this was an alien encounter!” that same voice from the aether screams at me.
I’m biased; I believe in aliens. Pipe down and let me have my fleeting moment of bias before I fall asleep at my keyboard listening to Rammstein. Now, on to the next theory so I can instead fall asleep in the shower instead of at the keyboard. I’m not sure if that’s better or worse, but I think it would be slightly more comfortable than using a keyboard for a pillow.
4. The imagination of a not-so-headless child
At this point, I’m starting to question if I have a head; I’ve used that word 27 times now, but it feels like it’s missing a few dozen zeroes. Can someone fetch me some melatonin before ghostwriting for me now?
Our fourth theory is that Phillip imagined the aliens. I’ve said this before, and I will say it again because it’s absolutely true: The imagination of a child is a wondrously bizarre thing. I recall playing with my Hot Wheels and imagining everything as being on par with Mad Max: Fury Road before that movie was ever made.
It’s a shame. I doubt we’ll ever see a sequel to it, but oh well. At least we got Fury Road.
Anyway, children are capable of imagining a lot of crazy stuff. Why? I don’t know the exact psychological reasoning, but kids can conjure up some wild stuff. As such, if Phillip saw some shadows in his bedroom after waking up for one reason or another, the lingering sleep made him see what he thought were headless beings.
What would have awoken him? Maybe the “humming” was a car driving, a plane flying overhead, the wind, or some other innocuous occurrence. You’d be surprised by how easy it is to wake some people up, dear reader. Just ask me.
This is by no means absurd. I’ve brought up before that I’ve awoken in the middle of the night a few times, and I’ve thought there was a giant centipede on the wall. However, as my eyes adjusted, I realized that it was just a fire alarm. The shadow from the television, coupled with my grogginess, made me think it was one of my greatest fears.
This has also happened on multiple occasions, but my brain constantly tricks me. I’ve tried conversing with my brain to stop pranking me, but it refuses to communicate with me. I think we’re no longer on sleeping terms…
That was actually a typo that I’ve opted to leave it in as a testament to how tired I am while writing this. “Sleeping” was supposed to be “speaking.” I wonder how I’m going to view this write-up months or years down the road. Knowing myself, I’m going to say “very positively.”
Oh, right, this is meant to be a theory. Honestly, I think it mostly speaks for itself. Phillip saw a shadow and got fooled. That’s that, right?
Well, not entirely. There’s the matter of the UFO. I cannot think of an explanation for that. There is nothing I can think of to explain it unless Phillip was recounting this story years or decades later and misremembered it. In that case, I’d chalk this up to a false memory brought about by the passage of time.
A false memory would help this theory greatly because, unless Phillip’s family lacked neighbors, I question how no one saw or heard a UFO lift off from a garden lawn. Granted, I know little about the area this took place in, but I cannot fathom it’s so sparsely populated that no one wouldn’t hear a UFO landing or taking off, especially if it’s what produced that humming noise.
Ultimately, I am inclined to think that this is the best theory—or one of them. While it’s not flawless, denying that a child could mistake a shadow for something far more horrific, abominable, and comically baffling would be absurd. If I, a 28-year-old man, can mistake part of a fire alarm for a giant centipede on multiple occasions, a 4-year-old can mistake the shadow of, say, a clothes rack for a headless alien.
If only I knew what he could mistake for a UFO on the garden lawn. Maybe a giant garden gnome? Yeah, let’s go with that. Now, onward, it’s time for our final theory (not counting the meme theory, which is totally the truth; trust me).
5. A dream (wherein the dream took away the heads of whatever these things were)
Ever had a dream that you swore was real, but you woke up and were like, “Geez, that felt so real!” I know I have, and I never like it because it messes with my head.
There are bound to be times in one’s life when one reflects on those moments and wonders to themselves if the dream was actually a dream or, in fact, real. I know there are some dreams that, when I look back on them, I know they were dreams, but they felt too real, and the irrational part of my brain thinks that they did happen.
That’s where this theory comes into play. Phillip had a really baffling dream about seeing weird things in his room and many years later reported it because he thought it was real. Alternatively, he had the dream, awoke, and ran to his mom because he thought it happened. Both are acceptable versions of events that I in no way, shape, or form am making up on the spot,so I don’t get asked why I didn’t include a theory as obvious as this.
In all seriousness, this is easily one of the most likely possibilities—so much so that I wouldn’t be shocked if a lot of childhood horror stories could feasibly be chalked up to lucid nightmares. With how fuzzy memories from that period get, I cannot fathom even 10% of those types of stories really happened.
I’d say “sue me,” but I already said that earlier, and I’ve been informed that repeating myself isn’t appealing to some readers. Who told me this? The pillows that are calling my name.
Overall, this theory is perfectly sound and reasonable and is everything else that I am currently not. My eyes hurt so much right now that it’s not even funny.
6. My sleep schedule once it was given form
HAVE I MADE IT APPARENT THAT I AM WRITING THIS WHILE EXHAUSTED!?
My Take
Given Phillip was a whopping 4 years old at the time of the sighting, I’m going to guess this was either the product of a child’s imagination or a bad dream—or possibly both. We don’t know how old this guy was when it was reported (at least, I don’t), so how the heck am I meant to gauge if his memory was even clear?
Look, I have some memories of when I was 5 years old. The keyword there is some. The main reason? I was 5 when in 2001, and I began kindergarten in September of that year. Take a wild guess what horrific tragedy has forever scarred that for me. Hint: It defined a generation!
Prior to that, I remember practically nothing; I have no memories of when I was 4 years old! I mean, I might, but they’re so astronomically fuzzy that if I were to tell you if my word was worth listening to, I’d tell you you’re better off trusting a bullet ant’s sting not to hurt like hell.
Couple that with how we don’t know when Phillip sent in his report, and I think it’s safe to assume that this was all in his head, and he incorrectly remembered it as being reality. This isn’t something abnormal by any means, especially when you’re reminiscing on something that happened long ago. It’s a part of life, and if anyone ever gives you flak for it, throw a metaphorical shoe at them.
I don’t condone actually throwing objects at other people; that’s rude and messed up. Treat others with respect, please.
That said, if there’s an extended version of this story out there, I would love to read it. If there’s proof of imprints on the garden lawn, I would be seriously interested in contemplating what may have happened. At that point, I think I’d need to reconsider how much shade I threw at this case—and how many crows I need to eat.
Until then, though, I’m going with this being a false memory. Why wasn’t that its own theory? If I need to tell you by now, you haven’t been paying attention to what I’ve written about how tired I am. That’s okay; I’ve practically forgotten everything I’ve written because I wrote this thing in a mere three hours off the cuff.
Conclusion
This is, without a doubt, one of my favorite write-ups ever. Is it unhinged? Absolutely. Do I care? Not one bit. This is pure anarchy on my end because of my sleepiness, and I am all for it. Heck, I relish it; I feel like I could take on the world!
Unfortunately, that’s likely the bipolar talking, and I know damn well that it’s unhealthy for me to keep writing like this; my writing will only suffer if I keep this madness up. Seriously, I think I might fall asleep the next time my head hits a pillow.
So, rather than sacrifice my physical and mental well-being, I will instead ask you what you think Phillip saw that fateful September evening. Did he really encounter a unique species of extraterrestrials? Or was it all his imagination? Or was it something else that I’m too tired to bring up? Let me know in the comments, and, as always, stay happy, stay healthy, and thank you for reading!
Oh, and stay well-rested, too.
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