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Monday, December 30, 2024

Decemystery (2024) 30: The Singularity Tape

 

At the start of this month, I said I wanted to find five of the weirdest conspiracies possible to outdo the ones I covered last year. I wanted maximum strangeness across the board, and I think I achieved that quite well.


On December 8, I covered “The McDonald’s Blob,” which I think ended up being one of this month’s best write-ups. It was brisk fun, and I had an absurdly good time covering it. Also, I got to cover some of the urban legends surrounding a fast-food chain, which is something I never thought I’d have the opportunity to do.


On December 16, I covered “bubbles.avi,” which was also a “purge survivor,” as I mentioned when I covered “We’re Gonna Be a Family Again Soon.” I only now realized that. I’ve been working on Decemystery 2024 since August, and I only now realized that there was a crossover between those two. 


Anyway, on December 22, I covered “The Day the Earth Screamed,” which I think was one of the weakest write-ups this month. I know that a lot of my friends and family members tell me not to be so hard on myself, but I was suffering from severe burnout at that time, and I had practically no motivation. Oh well, that’s in the past; there’s no point in lingering on what can’t be undone.


Well, until I inevitably rewrite the story to give it the treatment it deserves.


The fourth and most recent case was “Apollo 11 Landed on the Wrong Moon,” which was planned to be the capstone write-up for this year. However, as is the case with me, plans change. Sometimes, they change so much that the entire capstone is swapped out.


Those four stories are all absolutely bonkers in their own right, especially the one about Apollo 11. I’d say it’s the weirdest of the five, but that doesn’t diminish today’s story by any stretch of the imagination. No, today’s write-up is fantastical fun in its own right.


Known as The Singularity Tape, this is a short tale that I wanted to cover because it’s the second Conspiracy Iceberg story to center around found footage; the first was last year’s “VCR Wife.” Also, I have covered shockingly few mysteries featuring found footage. I really need to change that.


Anyway, come along, dear reader; Decemystery 2024’s penultimate write-up serves as the Conspiracy Iceberg’s swan song for this year. Let’s leap into Michigan’s singularity together and learn the truth about a videotape that defies space and time all at once…


Ah, nuts, I just realized I have to discuss the Michigan Blue Hell now. Granblue Fantasy Relinked is going to have to wait.

Rewind to Infinity


Like the previous four Conspiracy Iceberg write-ups this month—along with practically every single one before it—I went over to 4plebs to find out information about this case. To my bewilderment, despite the eye-catching title, there is shockingly little about it. Most results are only there because of the word “singularity.”


The earliest mention was on April 17, 2020, but no explanation was given in that thread. Things are already off to a good start, and we’re not even done with the second paragraph of the main body of the article. I can already feel the excitement in the air!


The next mention of the tape was on May 2, 2020, when someone inquired about both it and the earlier-mentioned bubbles.avi. Fittingly, the following day, someone responded and explained both of them. What you’re about to read is why I said that I think these two theories influenced each other in some capacity.


Supposedly, around 2012, three boys in an unnamed Michigan town “accidentally” made a singularity that “contracts all reality into a single blue point of light.” The tape was described as “transcendentally beautiful yet horrific.”


I want to say right now that I have no idea how singularities work, nor do I particularly care because physics makes my brain turn into fried eggs. I know they happen when a star collapses and creates a black hole, but I digress. I think it’s really funny that Michigan is where this story takes place. Keep that in mind because, as I said in the intro, the Michigan Blue Hell will be important for later. I am not looking forward to discussing that thing for the second year in a row.


Maybe 2025 will be its year!


The next time someone inquired about the mysterious tape would be on September 9, 2020; someone would respond later the same day, providing a tad more information about the contents of the tape. And by “a tad more,” I mean it raises so many more questions that I need a dump truck to haul them around.


By and large, the explanation is the exact same. However, instead of saying that the singularity contracted reality, it absorbed all of creation. I suppose those two are the same thing, but one is more straightforward. However, I think that saying something devoured creation itself is a lofty claim.


The other variation is that the “blue point of light” now “looks like a blue basketball.” So, our little speck of light has evolved into a larger ball. Slam dunk!


That—shockingly enough—is all there is. There is no other information given about this story; it’s as barren as Death Valley. There’s no lore on what happened to the tape, who found out, what part of Michigan it was found in, or anything of that nature. I’ll expand upon this more in the theories, though, because it’s quintessential conspiracy theory material.


The only other bit of information I’d like to make a note of is about bubbles.avi. If you recall that write-up, you’d remember that the sphere described in there was sometimes depicted as being blue. Why is this important? Well, I find it fascinating how both featured a sphere (or, in the case of the Singularity Tape, a ball) of blue light. As I said earlier, a part of me wonders if the two stories influenced each other.


Beyond that, there’s nothing else to go over—not outside of the theories, anyway. That’s where the real meat of the story is, and it’s where I get to talk all about stuff I’ve been either dreading or eagerly excited about covering for the better part of a month now. So, come along; let’s enter a second singularity together. I’m sure that’s not physically possible, but who says the laws of physics apply to anything that I write about?


Theories


1. It’s real


Let’s start off with the elephant in the room: The Michigan Blue Hell. I’ve brought it up a few times now, and I think everyone here who knows nothing about it deserves an explanation.


Last year, I covered a story entitled That Time a Russian Managed to Noclip Out of Reality. As the title suggested, a Russian man named Mikhail managed to find his way out of reality. He did this by falling into a wall and ending up in another one where there were beings with rectangular-shaped heads. It’s been just under a year since I wrote about that story, and I still can’t think of anything other than Hey Arnold!


Anyway, the Michigan Blue Hell is supposedly a place in the state of Michigan (I have no idea where, but I swear it may be near Detroit) where you can “clip out” of reality. If you do this, you’ll fall into an endless void as blue as the sky on a clear day.


The name “Michigan Blue Hell” is derived from a term used in video games to describe the area you end up in if you fall through level geometry. Basically, the world beneath the game’s map is (typically) blue; if you fall through the geometry, you end up in the “blue hell.”


The Michigan Blue Hell is a real-life version of this, but you can’t escape it by closing the game and restarting it. Instead, you’re stuck there, presumably until you starve to death or something else. Man, I hope your insurance covers “bad coding by the matrix creators.”


As I said last year, there is a lot more to the Michigan Blue Hell, but I cannot feasibly go over it here without it being detrimental to my health. As much as I would love to throw something together, the story is simply too massive to be given a half-baked treatment. I said that I’d try to get around to it this year, but that didn’t pan out for reasons I’ve mentioned several times this month.


Just like Julia, maybe next time around.


Anyway, what does this story have to do with anything? Well, given the Singularity Tape features reality being sucked into a manmade singularity, and it occurred in Michigan, it’d stand to reason that maybe these two are somehow tied at the hip. At least, that’s how I would view it.


It’s like those cinematic universes studios kept trying to make, but it features the Conspiracy Iceberg and, therefore, a whole lot better than the vast majority of them.


In all seriousness, it’s more than likely a coincidence that the two are said to be in Michigan. However, given the claim of reality being devoured, coupled with the Michigan Blue Hell resulting in you falling into an endless blue void outside of reality, I feel you could make an argument (albeit a magnificently weak one) that the Michigan Blue Hell was the result of the singularity showcased in the videotape.


Unfortunately, there’s nothing to prove any of this. Like, at all. I would love to tell you that there’s a lot of information about a covered-up videotape featuring three boys in a barn somehow making a singularity, but I have no leads to go on. In fact, I have no rumors or legends to go on.


The most I can do is speculate that the United States government covered this case up incredibly well and the singularity didn’t kill us all by some miraculous chance. However, I don’t think that’s how singularities work. We should be dead if we fell into one.


Despite that, I love the idea behind this idea. While it has virtually nothing going for it, I have to admit that I love a good conspiracy that involves something absurd like this. Well, even if I’d prefer being alive! So, if I may, I’d like to say that I believe the singularity was somehow contained by a secretive part of NASA before it could cause our universe to be decimated.


C’mon, let me have a bit of fun. It’s been a long year!


1b. It’s real in an interdimensional sense


O B L I G A T O R Y.


2. It’s fake


Yeah, you can undoubtedly guess that this is the theory that has a lot more going for it. So, rather than discuss why that’s the case, I want to do instead raise a better point.


Where did this idea even originate?


Common sense dictates that it was made up by someone who made an iceberg chart at some point, and a 4channer created the backstory. In other words, the usual way that I suspect a great many Conspiracy Iceberg entries find life.


However, I’d go one step further and say that the original 4channer who created the backstory was inspired by a little-known science-fiction movie entitled Project Almanac.


Produced by Michael Bay (yes, that Michael Bay) and released in 2015 to mixed reception, Project Almanac (originally entitled Welcome to Yesterday, which I believe to have been a significantly better title) features a found footage element. I question why more found footage movies didn’t utilize the science-fiction genre to their advantage, but I digress.


The film centers on a group of high schoolers who stumble across time-traveling technology through the power of plot convenience. Hijinx ensues for reasons that I don’t feel like learning about. I didn’t see the movie, and it doesn’t sound like many did either because it underperformed at the box office.


While the concept of the Singularity Tape in and of itself isn’t exactly like Project Almanac’s, the two struck me as a bit similar, and I know that inspiration can be drawn from the most unexpected of places. In this case, I have to wonder if the 4channer watched the movie on TV (it wasn’t long into the COVID-19 lockdowns) and decided to take advantage of the lack of an explanation to make up their own Conspiracy Iceberg fable.


Of course, I can’t prove that this was the case. Heck, I’ll freely admit that it’s woefully unlikely. There’s little to suggest otherwise, after all. However, I do think there’s a bit of an interesting, if loose, parallel there. No, I am in no way trying to say that just to boost my ego. No siree.


Aside from that, I don’t know what else there is to say. Yeah, it’s very obvious that the story was made up for the Conspiracy Iceberg. It’s pretty obvious that the events presented are completely absurd and lack a basis in reality. Though, hey, why should that matter? I don’t cover these cases to debunk them; I cover them because they’re a great deal of fun, and I love sharing them with you guys.


Personally, of the five cases I covered this month, this one’s likely my second favorite—maybe third. I’d say that the Apollo 11 story is my favorite, and the Singularity Tape is in contention with bubbles.avi for second place. Well, the version about the creation of a human soul.


Now, then, let’s move on to the meme theory before we get into my take! What’s that? You say that this was an abrupt transition? That’s because the rest of the theory fell into a singularity.


3. It was the end result of someone trying to make sense of the plot of Kingdom Hearts


As a die-hard fan of the series, I can vouch that this has happened to me countless times. Just trust me.


My Take


As I said, I don’t think this conspiracy has any basis in reality. The idea of three boys randomly creating a singularity that consumed everything, yet we’re all somehow still alive, is utter nonsense. It’s the type of thing you see in really schlocky science-fiction films where a scientist is trying to explain quantum physics. Just say that we’re in a perpetual state of Schrödinger’s Cat and call it a day.


Then again, I suppose you could make the argument that the singularity did cause us to enter a collective state of being like Schrödinger’s Cat. I have no idea if that’s possible, but I don’t care. Quantum mechanics turns my brain into an omelet. Can you tell that I like comparing my brain to various foods?


That said, is there any potential basis for this theory? Well, I recall that some said there was a minuscule chance the Large Hadron Collider could create a black hole when it was first made. However, that was a particle accelerator that cost nearly five billion dollars to build and costs an additional five-and-a-half billion dollars annually to maintain.


As a result, I don’t think there’s any feasible way for three random people to stumble upon a way to not only create a singularity but make one so powerful that it eats the entire universe like it hadn’t eaten in the past 24 hours.


Still, it could make for an interesting sci-fi flick. Call it Project Almanac 2: Singularity Boogaloo.


Anyway, yeah, all five Conspiracy Iceberg write-ups this year were absolutely hoaxes. I’m sure that some may find that disappointing since it may feel unfulfilling, but I genuinely adore these cases. They’re so wild, unhinged, and just downright silly. It’s fun, and my main goal with this blog is to provide a sense of fun. I feel like a lot of content creators who write about unsolved mysteries and conspiracy theories tend to miss the most adventurous and fun parts—be it by design or for some other reason.


That said, I should note that William Tompkins’ claims regarding Apollo 11 still need to be discussed at some point in the future. God willing, that will be done in 2025. I make absolutely no promises, though. If I do, then I will regret it oh so much. And trust me, the last thing that I need is to feel regret.


Conclusion


And so, with that, the penultimate write-up for Decemystery 2024 comes to an end. It’s certainly far from the longest one, but I don’t mind that. So many of these write-ups done for this month were brutal to do, and I cannot bear the thought of doing another five-digit-long write-up without taking my time doing it.


So, the fact I was able to sit down, look over the little information I had here, and just type away without paying that much mind to it was refreshing. In fact, the past few days have been refreshing in their own unique way. There’s something pleasant about it all, and I’ve missed that feeling.


I digress, though; I’m rambling at this point. As per the norm, I’d like for you to tell me what you think of this case, dear reader. I’d also love to know if you enjoyed the foray into the Conspiracy Iceberg’s more confounding side yet again and if you would like for me to continue covering these rather sillier entries each year. As you can undoubtedly guess, I’d love to; they’re a blast to write about and provide wonderful material to play with.


Anyway, check back tomorrow for the final entry for Decemystery 2024. What do I have in store? Something so befitting for this year that it’ll blow your mind; it truly encompasses the whole year for me in a way that no other story could ever possibly hope to do. You don’t want to miss it.


So, until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, and thank you for reading!


And stay away from singularities, lest you end up in the Pine Barrens. Yes, this additional “stay” bit at the end of write-ups is going to become a staple of them. I love doing it. It’s a ton of fun!

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