No, I haven’t recovered from that case a year later.
Anyway, while that metaphorical aneurysm sure as heck drives me nuts at times, I still relish the chaotic nature of cryptozoology and its many oddities. To me, it’s like a comfort zone. I can always count on it to bring me a sense of solace and provide me with something to write about (even if the story is absolute nonsense). So, today, I feel like harkening back to a more classic tale of strangeness.
Today’s story is one that I had intended to cover for one of the Decemysterys last year (I forget which). The exact reason I nixed it also evades me, but I think it’s because I figured I’d be treading similar ground, and I didn’t want to have another write-up that would read like so many others. Funny, I could say the same thing about the numerous UFO stories I covered.
Because it ended up getting nixed, it ended up being a part of Decemystery 2024’s original schedule. Now, if you read the intro to the Nickelodeon Hamster Wheel Broadcast write-up, you may remember that I mentioned that five stories survived the “purge” of that original schedule. I also said that when one of those stories came up, I would mention that. Well, surprise-surprise, this happens to be one of them.
This case is known as The Triangle Creature. Why did it survive? Well, look at that name! How could I not keep it around? Now, enough talk. Come along, dear reader; it’s time for us to head to the Heartland of the United States to discuss one of the greatest-named cryptids out there!
Monsters Come in All Shapes and Sizes
Our story hails from the archives of About. This should come as no surprise, given you’re going to find absolutely nothing about this creature online. Not that it matters because the report is one paragraph long. 141 words, to be exact. Let’s see how I can stretch that out into something that’s roughly eight times its length.
This story was submitted in September 2006 by a man named Jay. According to him, he and his daughter “lived a few miles north of Lawrence,” which is a city located in the northeastern part of Kansas. It’s only 39 minutes from Kansas City, Kansas. Not to be confused with Kansas City, Missouri, which is eight minutes from the other Kansas City. There’s your American geography lesson; there will be a test on this, so study up!
Anyway, Jay was “driving home one night” with his daughter—whom I will refer to as Sally for the sake of simplicity. The two were in Jay’s car, driving along a dirt road. It’s here that Jay mentions it was “around dusk,” which I should isn’t the same as nighttime. But, hey, people tend to misuse words like that, so I’m not going to harp on it.
Now, Jay and Sally lived “up in the hills” and north of a river. If I had to guess, the duo lived in a pretty rural area, but I don’t know the geography and layout of Lawrence and the surrounding area. Regardless, as Jay “rounded a corner close to home,” he and Sally saw something quite peculiar.
Crossing the road was a foot-tall (30 centimeters) “black triangle-shaped creature.” Jay also notes that it was “inverted,” with the point aimed down. I’m pretty sure he’s referring to the triangle and not the entire body. Also, now you know why this write-up’s header image is just a black triangle.
The creature also sported “two spindly legs that came off the top corners.” I’m going to hazard a guess and say that Jay means the top corners of the creature’s body. That would make sense, given the definition of “spindly,” but I still wish he’d specified because my brain isn’t as sharp as it used to be. I blame watching Bio-Dome all those years ago.
My movie opinions aside, I think it’s safe to say that this thing was birthed in a game of Spore. It also did not care one bit because, apparently, it was moving “as fast as a running bird or duck.” This meant that Jay and Sally got a good look at it. Helping matters was the light of the setting sun and the headlights. I know, I can’t believe it either; cryptid eyewitnesses who got a good look at what they saw! Too bad About didn’t have a section where the person submitting the report could include a sketch.
Presumably taken aback by the leggy monstrosity jaywalking across the dirt road, Jay and Sally sat in the car. Eventually, it “ran into the tall grass” before heading into the woods. At this point, Jay hopped out of his car and tried to follow it. Alas, he couldn’t see the creature, thanks to the tall grass. He did, however, come across a level 3 Zigzagoon.
That’s where Jay’s story ends. Although it’s short, it’s still interesting—in my eyes, anyway. Two eyewitnesses saw something bizarre on a drive home when there was enough light to let them see it clearly. The only thing missing is a date, so I can’t gauge if Jay’s memory was failing him.
Anyway, now that our foray into the Fortean is done, it’s time for us to go over the theories. Given that this is a cryptid story I found on About, there are a fair number of them to go over. So, why waste time with formalities? Let’s rush headlong into them and have some fun speculating!
Theories
1. A cryptid
Kicking things off, we have the theory that this was some type of cryptid. At first glance, that might sound preposterous. A creature with a triangle-shaped head (an inverted one, at that) and spindly legs that stretch to its upper body is pretty out there, even by the standards of cryptozoology. However, it may surprise you to know that this isn’t a novelty.
While the shape of this thing’s head is rather peculiar, the part about the legs isn’t. If you’re familiar with cryptozoology, you may know of the infamous Fresno Nightcrawlers, which made headlines for being caught on camera in Fresno, California. Below is an image of them.
The story behind these creatures is bizarre. While it’s generally accepted that the footage was a hoax, there are people who still think they exist. I’ve considered writing about them, but there are so many videos and articles about them that I would be a droplet in an ocean about the cryptid that resembles a walking pair of pants. Oh well, maybe someday.
The second cryptid was going to be a part of last year’s Decemystery duology. Alas, it got nixed because I didn’t think I could do it justice. I’m hoping to cover it next year, but I’m not making any promises because it’s a bizarre one. It’s known as the Carmel Crawler (also known as the Carmel Area Crawler or the Carmel Creeper). Below is a sketch of it that was made by the eyewitness.
This creature was also seen back in 2014 by a 60-year-old former Marine in Carmel, Ohio, while driving. He said it was 7 feet tall (213 centimeters) and had “muscular legs.” I’m not sure where the muscle is in that sketch, but maybe he forgot to include it.
As you can tell, stories about creatures with abnormally long legs that run upright are by no means unique. Across the United States, people have reported seeing things like this. Heck, the Fresno Nightcrawlers—or something like them—have been reported in other states. Though their now-legendary status may have led some people to mistake other things for them.
With that said, the likelihood of this thing being a cryptid feels rather slim. Setting aside the size difference between the Triangle Creature and the other two cryptids, this appears to have been the only sighting in Kansas. No cryptid-related wiki has anything on this, nor does any other paranormal-centric source or any book that I own about cryptids.
However, that doesn’t mean its status as a cryptid is impossible. If Jay and Sally happened to reside in a very rural community, it’s possible that this thing is something that’s only been seen a handful of times by the town’s few residents (kind of like the Elizaville Monster). At the same time, if this is like the Bagodemon and the two live in a more populated area, then there’s no way this thing hasn’t been seen more than a few times.
The main reason for this is that Lawrence had a population of 85,820 in 2006. Assuming that this story took place that year, I think it would be really hard for this thing to be seen once. While I wouldn’t expect a sighting every other day, it’s hard to believe that nobody saw something this odd.
Nevertheless, I can’t outright dismiss this as something akin to the Fresno Nightcrawler and Carmel Creature. Aside from their heights, their appearances are unusually similar. However, why these three creatures are spread out across three states that have hundreds of miles separating them is more than a little baffling. But I digress; maybe they’re all over the place, and we haven’t seen them.
Whatever the case may be, I’d rather not linger here for any longer. So, let’s head on to the next theory, which is something that I haven’t referenced since 2021 when I covered The Enfield Horror.
2. A gnome
This blog has existed for six years, yet I’ve never taken the time to discuss gnome sightings in any meaningful capacity. How the heck did I achieve that? I’ll tell you how: magic!
Sightings of gnomes are far from a novelty. You can find plenty of legends about them, along with articles and supposedly true stories about people seeing the little buggers running around. Additionally, there are a surprisingly large number of posts on Reddit about them.
Gnomes are described as humanoids standing 2–4 feet (60 to 121 centimeters), with the earliest references to them dating back as far as the 16th century. They’re frequently depicted in fantasy media nowadays, typically residing in the forest and being either highly intelligent or mischievous—or both.
In the realm of cryptozoology, gnomes are known by numerous names. One of the most common is the Duende, a folkloric creature in Latin American culture that is akin to a gnome. These fellows deserve their own write-up, but you can very easily find stories and videos about them online. Below is one such video detailing a supposed sighting from Argentina. Some claim it’s been debunked, but I’ve never looked much into it (or any other Duende sightings).
Anyway, as for this theory, the idea is that it was a gnome. While you could bake it into the previous theory, gnomes, despite their small stature, extend into a multitude of concepts. Some see them as cryptids, while others view them as spirits, interdimensional beings, a subset of humans, or aliens. For the sake of simplicity, I’ll be viewing them as cryptids, making this something of an extension of the previous theory.
If you were to ask me if this were a gnome, I would say that, no, it isn’t. However, the idea of this being some sort of small humanoid seems like the most plausible answer when it comes to the cryptid theory. The main reason is that I could see the supposed “triangle head” being a shadow mixed with some hair or a hat (think of what garden gnomes wear).
On top of that, gnome sightings tend to take place in one of two places: desolate locations and houses. Indeed, many gnome sightings (particularly in Latin American countries) occur within the confines of one’s own home. The crafty little buggers like to sneak in and cause mischief. I should start marketing Roach Motels but for gnomes. I’ll call them Gnome Knolls. JFK would be proud of me.
Jokes aside, this theory’s reliant on your belief in superstition and folkloric creatures. I have no idea how many people actually believe in them outside of older generations. They tend to be more open-minded (if not outright believers) in creatures like this.
If you’re of the opinion that creatures like gnomes, goblins, and elves exist, then this theory may hold some water for you. For others, though, I think it’s a bit iffy. I mean, gnomes aren’t known for having ginormous legs. At least, I don’t think so. They’re often depicted with short, stubby legs that would make for interesting table pieces. But I digress; an in-depth look at gnomes is best left for its own write-up. For now, let’s look to the stars for our next suspect!
3. An alien
Is there any situation where blaming aliens isn’t a viable option? Seriously, they’re usable in any scenario. A cockroach snuck into my humble abode? Aliens sent it there to act as a surveillance drone. The mailman didn’t deliver my mail? Aliens wiped his memory of my existence. I failed my math test? Okay, that one’s not on aliens. I just never cared for math.
Indeed, aliens are our next suspect. Well, an alien. As far as I can tell, Jay and Sally didn’t see a conclave of 1-foot-tall triangle-headed extraterrestrials doing the can-can down the dirt road. If they did, I’m going to be furious at Jay for not telling that story because it would’ve made for an amazing capstone story for this year’s Decemystery (not that the story I have picked out isn’t an absolute banger).
I’ve already said it this month and in years past: Aliens have been described in an array of shapes and sizes. You needn’t look further than the intro to yesterday’s Decemystery entry to see the laundry list of baffling stories featuring aliens that look nothing like your typical Greys (the bulbous-headed humanoids with large eyes and thin bodies, for those who are out of the loop).
That said, I’m not familiar with any alien that’s this small. Assuming this thing was a foot tall, it would be a mere 2–3 inches (5–7.6 centimeters) taller than your average domesticated house cat. I’ve heard of “little green men,” but this is preposterous.
On the other hand, the sudden appearance and disappearance of this creature could be explained by it being an alien. Perhaps it was here to examine humanity or to see what intelligent life was like on another planet. I’ve always maintained that it isn’t that absurd for aliens to visit Earth. Humans go to zoos, go scuba diving, and go on safari expeditions to see wildlife. Why wouldn’t aliens do what they’d likely perceive as something similar by visiting Earth?
Additionally, UFO sightings in Kansas aren’t rare. While it’s far from the state with the most sightings, it has enough that you could argue that this thing came here for one of the aforementioned reasons. However, given the lack of lights in the sky (unless this alien decided to keep its high beams off), we’d have to either assume that it left when no one was looking or that it stuck around on Earth for longer.
Honestly, the more I type, the more this theory doesn’t strike me as the most ludicrous thing ever proposed. While there is a fair bit of bias there due to my ardent belief in extraterrestrial life, I wouldn’t blink if it turned out that this was an alien. I think the only thing I’d do is ask why its head resembles a pygmy version of Pyramid Head from Silent Hill 2. Anyway, onto the next theory!
4. An interdimensional creature
Although it’s been a joke theory for the past three days, the idea that this was an interdimensional being of some sort is a legitimate idea today. The reason for that is simple: A lot of cryptids have been theorized to be from an alternate reality.
That theory warrants its own write-up, but the general idea is that our reality overlaps with another one, and creatures from that reality are visible in ours. Sometimes, they get stuck here until they find their way back. It’s like the movie Babe, but a lot less cute. It also wasn’t written or produced by George Miller, so it’s automatically a lot less mad.
This concept is interesting. It would explain the rashes of Bigfoot and sea serpent sightings that have happened throughout history, only for them to stop as suddenly as they began. It also answers the question of why people who hunt these creatures lose track of them; they found their way back home to whatever twisted realm they came from.
I digress, though; I’ll cover that topic another day. Now that you understand the basics, I think you can surmise where this theory is coming from. Our reality, dimension, universe, or whatever you wish to call it, overlapped with another, and this weird triangle-headed creature entered it. After it ran into the forest, it ended up crossing back into its home dimension, leaving behind a perplexed and more-than-likely terrified father and daughter.
How likely is this theory? Well, given I think that alternate realities are quite plausible, I’d say it’s far from the wildest thing I’ve ever heard. However, I don’t quite understand the hypothetical science of realities overlapping, thereby leading to people and interdimensional beings entering other places. I don’t think I ever could understand it, too. I was never the best when it came to complex science.
Despite that, I’d say that this could be plausible. However, it relies on us trusting the word of a stranger on the Internet, and you know how I feel about that. So, how about we discuss why that can be a problem with the next theory?
5. A hoax
Yep, it’s time for everyone’s favorite* theory: Jay made this whole thing up!
* Limitless Possibilities does not guarantee that this is your favorite theory, nor does it guarantee that this joke I’ve used more than once will elicit a laugh from you. Consult your physician for more information.
If you’ve been reading these write-ups daily, you know the whole song and dance now. I tend to avoid labeling things as hoaxes for an assortment of reasons. That said, there are a few good reasons to doubt the story’s authenticity on principle: None of us know Jay, nor do we know anything beyond what he sent to About.
Look, I’ll keep it simple. Trusting anything posted on the Internet needs to be taken with a grain of salt. If I were to post on Twitter about how I know someone who has dirt on Tim Walz or J.D. Vance, blindly believing it would be a colossally boneheaded move.
The same can be said for Jay’s story; we only have his word. That’s why I try to seek out reports and claims that are similar to them. It helps to corroborate what the eyewitness saw—at least, potentially.
In this case, I decided to look up if there were any cryptids in Kansas that matched this creature to see if I could corroborate Jay’s story. I got two results. One was about a new species of gecko that was found in a cave in Vietnam this year. Not for nothing, but I doubt the 3-inch-long (7.6 centimeters) gecko was the culprit.
The other was much more interesting, and I may cover it one day. According to Flint Hills Paranormal, two people were driving along a road when they saw an extremely tall, emaciated figure for a split second. For those curious, Flint Hills is outside of Wichita, Kansas, which is 2 hours and 19 minutes from Lawrence. So, I’m going to guess that Flint Hills isn’t much farther away.
What this being was isn’t known (I know, what a surprise), but the person who saw it speculated it to be a spirit—or something like that. Apparently, there had been numerous conflicts between Native American tribes and settlers around the area. Keep this in mind because it’ll be relevant in a moment.
Ultimately, I can’t find anything to really corroborate Jay’s story. There doesn’t appear to be anything like what he described online, which leaves us with only his word to trust. Unfortunately, I don’t feel like making an exception today and go against my better judgment. Maybe next time!
However, at the same time, I can’t imagine why he would craft such a short and rather uneventful story. While boredom can lead people to do many things, this was 141 words long and amounted to “I saw a weird thing cross the road.” So, if it was a hoax, it’s the laziest hoax I’ve ever seen.
I digress, though; where you fall will depend on your belief in the Fortean. With that all said and done, it’s time for us to move on to the next theory. It’s a theory that I wasn’t sure I’d include, which I now believe would be a terrible idea to forego. That idea being… what if this wasn’t a corporeal being at all?
6. A spirit of some sort
Throughout the United States, legends and reports of haunted locations that were the site of Native American massacres exist. There are also Native American burial grounds that are so notorious for being the source of hauntings that they’ve become a staple of paranormal horror stories.
Whether or not you believe these stories to be true is entirely on you. Personally, as a staunch believer in ghosts, I’ll err on the side of caution and do my best not to upset any spirits. What I will do, though, is happily discuss the theory that what Jay and Sally saw was some kind of spirit.
Now, I should preface by saying that this theory isn’t limited to a Native American spirit. This could be anything: a man who got lost and died in the forest, a forest spirit, or some demon that was summoned by a bunch of teenagers who decided to play with forces they knew nothing about.
The reason I mentioned Native American spirits is because that’s what the previous theory ended with and because it’s incredibly common for stories of spirits in the forests of the United States to be associated with tragedies and sacred burial grounds.
However, in this particular case, I don’t know if any massacre occurred in or around northern Lawrence, nor do I know if there are any Native American burial grounds. That, coupled with how little I know of where Jay and Sally were, makes it next to impossible to determine unless I were to comb through the history of Kansas.
So, with that possibility rendered moot, what kind of spooky ghost could this have been? Well, I have absolutely no clue whatsoever. Yeah, I know, that’s anticlimactic, but aside from the Duende (which we went over earlier), I know of no ghost that’s 1-foot-tall and looks like a rejected Pokémon design.
My best guess is that this was a forest spirit of some kind, but I know next to nothing about them. God willing, I will remember to do that after Decemystery 2024 is done, but I make no promises. There’s a good chance I’ll be too busy playing World of Warcraft or trying to play the remake of Final Fantasy VII. That, or I’ll be enjoying time with my loved ones. I would prefer the third one the most.
I digress, though. There is one other thing to note, and it’s something that I stumbled across by complete accident. There’s another story in About’s archives entitled Triangle Man, which was posted in March of 2009 by a woman named Corinne.
While the case is vastly different, I must admit that it’s pretty unsettling. Corinne talked about how she would see a man emerge from her wall. It sported an upside-down triangle-shaped head—like the one that Jay and Sally saw. It was also “not very tall,” but that’s about as vague as you can get without saying “it was a height.” Still, if it wasn’t tall, it could’ve technically been 1-foot-tall!
However, there are a few differences. For starters, Corinne’s triangular horror was purple (as opposed to black), had large eyes, and sported arms (which is something that was noticeably absent from Jay’s report).
Truth be told, I want to cover this story—badly. So, we’ll return to it tomorrow (I think this is the first time I’ve outright spoiled what the next Decemystery write-up is, but I don’t care). What is the point is that this does sound something like Jay and Sally’s creature. Sure, there are differences, but it’s oddly specific.
At the same time, it also sounds considerably more malevolent. It also patched through solid matter, which I’m pretty sure that Jay and Sally would’ve noticed, given what they saw entered tall grass.
Overall, I wouldn’t put much stock in this theory. However, I fully concede that my lack of understanding of the realm of ghosts and spirits is a major detriment on my end. If this sounds like some kind of nature spirit, let me know. It may help me make theories like this one less of a monologue and more of an actual discussion about the theory.
7. An animal
This theory has astonishingly little going for it for one reason: Jay and Sally saw this thing right in front of their car while the headlights were on, and there was still some sunlight out.
This thing also wasn’t moving that fast. As Jay said, he estimated the creature to be running as fast as a bird or duck. For those curious, here’s a part of a PDF from the Searchable Ornithological Research Archive on the “Locomotion of Ducks.”
They [Wood Ducks] ran at the rate of 5.5 to 7.1 miles per hour [8.8 to 11.4 kilometers per hour]. The maximum observed terrestrial speed of a Wood Duck was 12 feet per second or 8.2 miles per hour [3.6 meters per second or 19.4 kilometers per hour].
For comparison, the average human runs at a speed of 8 miles per hour (12.8 kilometers per hour). So, this thing effectively ran across the road at the rate of a human. Dirt roads vary in width. They can be anywhere from 9 feet (2.7 meters) to 18 feet (5.4 meters).
With that in mind, Jay and Sally would have had roughly a second or two to see the creature (depending on its width, the creature’s stride, and where it was when they first spotted it). That isn’t a long time, but with the amount of light they had, it would’ve helped them register things. The creature also entered tall grass, so it’s possible they saw it for a bit longer before it vanished into the woods.
Now, although this thing was moving at the pace of a human, I have to imagine its stride wasn’t consistent with that of a human. However, it’s possible its smaller stature allowed it to move a bit quicker. Its legs could’ve also helped it move faster. I’m not sure on both fronts, though.
That said, there is still some stuff going in its favor. For starters, if the road wasn’t wide, they would’ve had less time to examine it. We also don’t know when this took place. If it was years prior, Jay could’ve misremembered a lot of stuff. The latter would be a massive detriment as he could have seen a regular duck and misremembered it as the world’s most deformed garden gnome.
However, if Jay’s encounter happened before he sent his report in, then I know of no animal that resembles what Jay and Sally saw. My best guess is a raccoon, but they lack an upside-down triangular head. I also doubt they would mistake a raccoon for something that looked this ridiculous.
Nevertheless, this is an irrefutable possibility. Although I said it doesn’t have a lot going for it, there’s absolutely no denying that the father and daughter duo could have seen a wild animal and mistook it for something it wasn’t. After all, it was dusk. Who’s to say they weren’t exhausted and struggling to remain lucid? Not me, that’s for sure!
8. Nebraskan Shock Troopers
After years of being interchangeable with Kansas, Nebraska has finally sought to conquer Kansas through the power of 1-foot-tall creatures with upside-down triangles for heads. Alex Garland has nothing on my interpretation of a second American Civil War!
My Take
Ladies and gentlemen, I have but one question: What in the world did Jay and Sally see!?
There are plenty of cases that have left me speechless. Yesterday’s case was certainly a headscratcher, and last year had the brain-meltingly bizarre story of The Glowing Dancing Bulls. The latter of those two still leaves me wondering if it was some elaborate troll.
This story, however, is another level of weirdness. Like, I thought stuff like this was only achievable by Adult Swim. I never imagined I would ever read, let alone write, about a 1-foot-tall creature with an upside-down triangle-shaped head and long legs. But here I am! I just typed about 5,000 words about this very thing. And you know what? I feel like my brain was sent through a blender!
If I were forced to settle on a theory, I would hazard a guess and say that this was either some sort of really odd extraterrestrial or a case of misidentification. Those are the only two possibilities that sit right with me, but I’m not particularly confident in either due to how little I know.
Truth be told, I’m open to every theory (aside from the meme theory because Kansas could totally whoop Nebraska’s butt—my sincerest apologies to my Nebraskan readers). I mean, they make about as much sense as anything else. What’s the harm in just saying they’re all right? Maybe looking indecisive, but when you’re dealing with something like this, I think indecision is the least of your problems.
In short, I think it was either aliens or a raccoon. Which do I think is more likely? Ask a Magic 8 ball because I don’t have an answer.
Conclusion
While I may be uncertain about what this thing was, I have to admit that it was a blast to write. Out of every Decemystery write-up for this month, this is the one where I feel I’ve finally found my footing again; I feel I have my groove without entering the realm of repetition or overexplaining things.
With that said, I wish I had a more concrete opinion of what this creature was. After all, it’s a bit of a bummer not to have a definitive take. Alas, this was one of the instances where, no matter how many ways I looked at it, I found myself bewildered. Best of all, the same can be said for tomorrow’s story, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
To round things off, I would seriously love to know what you folks make of this. Seriously, leave a comment; I desperately want to know what you think this was. Do you think Jay made it all up? Was it an interdimensional being? A gnome? Or was it something else that I didn’t list off because I forgot? Let me know so I can possibly have some closure to this wonderfully weird tale. Also, as always, stay happy, stay healthy, and thank you for reading!
No comments:
Post a Comment