I want to paint a picture for you, dear reader. I want you to imagine that you do what I do; you write about the weird stories you’ve read online, in books, and heard in various videos you’ve listened to throughout your life. You’ve amassed a library’s worth of the craziest stories that anyone can imagine—their validity notwithstanding.
Now, I want you to imagine that you’re talking to a friend—any friend will do—and you get on the topic of your writing. You decide to tell them about how you’ve found a few odd stories that you’re considering covering and that one of them, in particular, is really peculiar. This prompts your friend to ask you, “What’s the weirdest story you’ve ever read?”
For most, this would be a very simple question to answer. Heck, for some people who even know more—and I use this word incredibly loosely—“obscure” cases like the Isdal Woman, you could name at least a few contenders for that title.
Personally, that question is impossible to answer. It seems like each year, there’s a new candidate who challenges something like the Oviedo Dick Monster for the dubious honor of “Weirdest Story I’ve Ever Read.” And if you’re wondering, that case is most likely the case I’d label as the strangest I’ve ever read.
However, I can’t say with absolute certainty because today’s Decemystery entry is a masterpiece in oddness. Is it as weird as that phallic-shaped monstrosity from Florida? No, definitely not. But that doesn’t minimize just how strange it is—not by a long shot. So come along, dear reader; it’s time to delve into the archives of About yet again as we take a look at the story of The Purple Monster!
The Purple Monster Apparatus
I couldn’t think of a clever title, and I’m listening to The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, so I figured this worked well enough.
As stated in the intro, this story comes to us from About in July of 2003 under the title The Purple Monster. As a side note, this will be the last one we cover for a few days since I don’t want you to think that this month is dedicated solely to that website. That, and it’s only a matter of time before I’m repeating the same talking points.
Unlike most cases from About, the user who submitted the report didn’t use their name. Rather, they went by “nettienrosey.” I debated on what I wanted to call this person, and after a lengthy amount of time listening to classical music to make me feel smarter, I opted to refer to them as Rose. After all, the word’s already in their alias—which may be a reference to Nettie Rosenstein, who was a fashion designer from New York City from the early-to-mid 20th century.
Like a fair number of stories from About, we aren’t told when or where this took place, though it’s likely it didn’t take place in Britain as Rose spelled “neighbor” without the U in it. As for when this occurred, Rose said that it was nighttime and “a warm July evening,” which could mean that this happened the same year she submitted her report. Alternatively, it could have occurred thirty years prior.
Anyway, Rose was washing the dishes on this presumably lovely summer night when she decided to look out the window. When she did, she “saw something very frightening.” Judging by the title of this write-up, I’m going to guess it wasn’t anything that scary.
That’s a lie, though. It was, in fact, something quite spooky. According to Rose, there was a purple creature that shined. Unfortunately, Rose didn’t elaborate on its appearance, but I’m willing to let this slide because it was shining. If I’m envisioning this thing correctly, I have to imagine that a lot of features were hard to make out.
What we do know is that the figure was “standing on top of a storage building” that was on the property of Rose’s neighbor. For added context, Rose said that she was looking at this thing “down over the hill.” So, I’m guessing she was at a higher elevation. If not, I need to retake geography because my terminology with anything related to it is comically poor.
Rose found herself hypnotized by the creature—or so it sounds. She claimed she was unable to take her eyes off of it—likely due to the fear of seeing something so unbelievable. Personally, I think it sounds like love at first sight; I bet this will one day be turned into a movie. Maybe it’ll be titled something like “The Shape of Standing Atop a Storage Building.”
An unknown amount of time passed when the figure suddenly “turned its ugly head” to face Rose. She doesn’t explain what made it ugly, but I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt since I’ve heard people say that someone or something has an ugly head, even if the person or figure in question isn’t unattractive. That said, it’s a shame we weren’t informed if it had one eye, one horn, could fly, or was a people eater. But, hey, at least it’s got the purple down!
After this, Rose talks about how terrified she was and that her parents were wrong about there being no such thing as monsters because what she was looking at “was as real as the computer in front of me.” Boy, if Rose knew about this blog nowadays, I bet she’d be in for a real treat at the numerous crazy things people have seen around the world. Just take a look at the Mexican Tongue Monster! Ah, a classic among classics.
I love my work.
Anyway, I want to note that Rose said she was doing the dishes at the start of this. Yet, now there’s a computer in front of her. While it’s likely she was putting a dish away, I find it bizarre that she didn’t clarify this because it makes it sound like there’s a computer right near the sink. That sounds like a severe hazard.
Rose and the purple monster of purpleness gawked at each other for “well over a minute.” Then, the latter opted to leave. According to Rose, it did this by making “a bounding leap.” I didn’t say this earlier, but the fact Rose said the creature stood atop her neighbor’s storage shed made me believe it was bipedal, and this further cements that belief.
That would be a strange story on its own, but it wasn’t the only time Rose saw Grimace’s illegitimate child out and about. However, unlike the vast majority of cases from About, Rose happened to have another encounter with this dazzling purple fiend.
Sometime later (Rose doesn’t specify how long after the first sighting this one occurred), she was “taking out the trash” when she noticed the creature “down the road.” It’s here where I desperately wish that I knew if this occurred in a rural or suburban area because I have to wonder how nobody else saw this thing if it was walking around near a street.
However, unlike last time, Rose didn’t partake in a staring contest. Instead, the so-called “monster” did the most un-monster-like thing and immediately bolted off somewhere. Rose said it was “into nowhere.” I decided to Google where “nowhere” is, and I came across Nowhere, Oklahoma. Therefore, I’m inclined to believe that this thing ran off there.
That’s where Rose’s story comes to a conclusion, and it’s certainly a bizarre one. In my 28 years on Earth, I’ve heard more than enough strange cases of seeing something weird in the forest, desert, or any other biome that our wonderful planet has to offer. However, the thought of seeing a shining, purple creature while doing the dishes is something that sounds as terrifying as it does confounding.
But, hey, there’s no need for it to remain confounding. After all, that’s why the theories section exists, and I say we waste no time in covering them. So, come along, let’s see what could potentially explain one of the weirdest stories I’ve found in the depths of About’s archives!
Theories
1. A cryptid
There’s a lot to be said about cryptid sightings. Namely, there are numerous one-off sightings of creatures that are so absurd that most would never bother taking them seriously. Think back to this story’s intro with the Oviedo Dick Monster; the concept of a 7-foot-tall (213 centimeters) humanoid that resembles a male’s genitalia isn’t something you’d look at and go, “Let’s hunt this thing.”
In the case of the Purple Monster, it skirts a very fine line between being absurd and plausible. The main reason for that is that we didn’t get much detail from Rose, so all we have to work with is that It was a humanoid creature that shined in some capacity.
On the one hand, humanoid cryptids are far from being a novelty. Bigfoot-type creatures, Pale Crawlers, Fleshgaits, the Deer Man (who I’ve been meaning to write about for nearly five years now), and Goatmen all have more than enough material behind them to fill up over a dozen 1,000-page-long books. Seriously, you can go onto YouTube and look up any of those creatures; you’ll find a plethora of videos about them (though you may need to change “Fleshgait” to “Skinwalker,” and “Deer Man” to “Wendigo” for additional videos).
Now, on the other hand, there’s the matter of this thing shining. Generally, when I think of a shining creature, I think of an extraterrestrial (more on that in the next theory). Rarely, if ever, do I think of a human who can glow. That’s usually associated with radiation (and is a myth) or paranormal powers.
Rose’s “Purple Monster” didn’t appear to be irradiated, nor did it appear to be paranormal. By all accounts, it sounded like it was a corporeal being that just so happened to be purple and could shine. While that’s odd, I find it hard to overlook its glow factor.
That said, I Googled if there were any cryptids that could glow. Unfortunately, it appears that’s a feature in Fallout 76, so I couldn’t get any results. That meant I had to take drastic measures and go to the Cryptid Wiki (also known as the Cryptidz Wiki because the letter Z is cooler than the letter S, I guess). It was here that I decided to type in “glowing” to see if there were any results for something that featured a glowing body. And, to my amazement, I actually got a result.
Back in 2003, there was a report out of Japan about something called the Iriomote Glowing Bat, which was seen on Iriomote Island, Okinawa, Japan. As its name implies, it was a bat-like creature that sported bioluminescent wings. For those who may be unfamiliar with bioluminescence, think of fireflies (sometimes called “lightning bugs” or “glowworms”).
What this bat was remains unknown over twenty years later, but it’s theorized that it was either related to the legendary Ropen (another cryptid that’s said to have bioluminescent wings) or a bird that had a type of luminous plankton on it (likely from when it was looking for a midnight snack).
Aside from these two cryptids (though I’m sure there are many more), I couldn’t find a humanoid whose only shining feature was their eyes or overtly more extraterrestrial than cryptozoological. I’m sure there’s one out there that I’m missing or forgetting, and that wouldn’t surprise me. Contrary to what my friends and family say about me, I’m far from a walking encyclopedia on this kind of stuff.
Overall, while this certainly sounds like a cryptid encounter, I don’t know of one like this. As such, it’s hard for me to consider this theory. Is it possible? Absolutely. Is it likely? In my eyes, no, but there’s a good chance you know more than I do and have other cases like this to corroborate it. So, if you do, let me know; I’d love to have more knowledge as I continue to operate this blog!
2. An alien
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: there are a lot of really weird alien reports out there. Don’t believe me? Just go look through the “UFO/Aliens” tag on this blog. You’ll find an array of mind-boggling stories of aliens that sound more akin to a 1950s B-movie than real-life reports of people who have had a close encounter with our interstellar friends.
In fact, I’d go so far as to say that if the Purple Monster was an extraterrestrial, it’s positively normal compared to many of those stories. If this happens to be the first time you’re reading an article of mine, then I hope you like my writing. I also recommend you read the intro to The 8-Foot-Tall Alien of Fort Wayne because there are multiple hyperlinked articles of mine there. Yes, I’m too lazy to relink a bunch of stuff once more. Sorry!
Anyway, with the figure Rose saw, I think it fits the bill of an alien, but only to an extent. We don’t know enough about its appearance outside of it having an ugly face (which could’ve easily been a figure of speech on Rose’s part) and that it was most likely bipedal. Oh, and it was purple, but I think that’s obvious since the story’s called “The Purple Monster” and not “The Cyan-colored Terrifier.”
Additionally, this theory explains the shiny nature of the Purple Monster. A fair number of alien encounters mention the being (or beings) as glowing or shiny in some capacity. Why that happens is beyond me, but I’ve always figured they needed help seeing in the dark. That, or they’re bioluminescent.
Of course, there are more logical explanations for this phenomenon. Swamp gas, tricks of the light, and hallucinations (which can be caused by swamp gas, as I discussed in the aforementioned 8-Foot-Tall Alien of Fort Wayne write-up) are a few examples. However, we don’t know if Rose lived near a location that was prone to swamp gas clouds—and even if she was, I don’t think one would take the form of a humanoid.
There’s also the matter of the figure being seen near a road. It’s more than a little odd that nobody else noticed this when it was, apparently, out and about in public. Granted, it’s possible that Rose lived in a rural area, and she only had a handful of neighbors. Alternatively, they might’ve not wanted to seem crazy by saying they saw a shining, purple abomination leaping around.
Then again, it’s possible this can be explained away by the time the sighting occurred; Rose said she had seen it on a “dark night” in July. Given that the sunset in July is typically very late (usually around 8:20 p.m. or 20:20 for my 24-hour time readers), it’s possible the reason no one saw it because they were all inside preparing to head to bed or were doing things unrelated to wondering who was out and about on a summer night.
The second sighting is a lot harder to explain away because we don’t know when it took place. All we know is that Rose was taking out the trash, so that could’ve been just as the sun was setting or when it was already night outside. We also don’t know if that sighting happened days, weeks, or months after the first one. A shame since I believe this explanation helps solve what’s an otherwise rather common issue with a lot of stories from About.
Anyway, another issue—albeit one that I tend to bring up a lot on account of it being something that’s traditionally tied to alien encounters—is that Rose didn’t mention there being any lights in the sky around the time of her experience. UFO sightings often accompany alien sightings (hey, I doubt that our extraterrestrial buddies don’t travel through space via jetpacks), so that throws a wrench into the theory (in my eyes, anyway).
Of course, it’s possible Rose never saw one or that they occurred elsewhere in whatever part of the world she resides (or resided) in. Alternatively, she may have seen them and taken them for lights on an airplane. Both strike me as plausible.
A third possibility is that Rose might have assumed that the Purple Monster was a cryptid and not an extraterrestrial. This sounds more likely because she mentioned that the figure was, well, a monster, and this caused her perception of the world to be torn asunder.
Ultimately, I think this theory hinges upon where you think this occurred, how late into the night you think it was, and your overall belief in aliens—not to mention if you believe they visit Earth. I’ve already given my stance on that concept in the past, so I won’t tell you about it again. However, I certainly can see it having happened.
In this case, it’s possible, but I wish we’d gotten a little more information out of Rose. Just a wee bit more, and we might’ve been able to round out the theories here. Alas, we’ve got two more to go (excluding the meme theories—plural today), so let’s continue.
3. An interdimensional purple monster man
Contrary to a popular belief that is shared amongst zero out of every ten dear readers, this theory is not a perpetual meme. Rather, there are instances where it’s a legitimate possibility held by yours truly, the guy who authors these write-ups.
As most of you know, I’m more than open to the idea of other universes, realities, dimensions, and however else you wish to phrase that question. Likewise, I think that if our universe were to overlap with another one, you might see something slip in for a moment. This can be anything from a weird monster to the hopes and dreams of people who think Star Citizen will ever be released.
Any day now, right?
Anyway, in the case of this story, it’d be quite an oddity to have the same creature appear twice. While I suppose it’s possible that our universe could’ve overlapped with the same one multiple times, the idea seems a bit peculiar to me.
Allow me to explain my reasoning. In my eyes, the more something happens, the more I wonder why it’s happening. As the old saying goes, once is an accident, twice is a coincidence, and three times is a pattern. Personally, I think that once you hit twice with something like this—with realities overlapping—there’s something amiss. This is further amplified when the incidents suddenly stop,
Of course, I could be uneducated when it comes to how dimensional overlapping works. As I’ve said in the past, I’m not a scientist by any stretch of the imagination, nor was science my strongest subject. I’m sure as heck won’t be capable of learning about the theoretical aspects of dimensional overlapping with ease, either, so I think it’s worth keeping that in mind.
In the event that I am wrong in being skeptical about this happening multiple times, I do think this theory is plausible. Perhaps that’s due to my own biases, but I don’t see why this couldn’t be some interdimensional entity. After all, if you were to be transported to an unfamiliar world, I doubt you’d go up to the first intelligent-looking lifeform and ask, “Hey, where am I?”
Ultimately, I can see a strong argument being made in the theory’s favor. While I do believe it has more hurdles to overcome than the previous one, it does function as an explanation (even if my aforementioned biases are on display, despite my attempts to keep them at bay). However, it also hinges on your belief in such concepts. So, make of that what you will; if you don’t buy into the idea of multiple universes, you can take this theory—and every other instance I use it—and use it to fuel a bonfire.
4. A hoax
The idea that this story is a hoax is about as surprising as an episode of Tom & Jerry where Tom doesn’t get Jerry.
Anyway, now that you’ve gone ahead and cleaned up the mess from that mind-blowing fact, let’s discuss this theory. As it implies, the idea is that Rose faked the whole thing. Why? Well, people on the Internet are known for making stuff up for all sorts of reasons. I mean, it’s the Internet; you can remain anonymous and get away with all sorts of mischief. Take a look at all the greentext stories that get posted to 4chan that are blatant falsehoods.
That said, as I’ve said numerous times when covering stories from About, there’s a significant difference between it and 4chan. Namely, 4chan allows for responses. As far as I know, About never had a comments section. It might have had a forum (I’m not sure, though), but there was no way to see who you reeled in with your spooky campfire story.
Of course, as I’ve stated in the past, that will never stop people from doing acts like this for one reason or another. After all, a little boredom can lead to people doing some wild stuff. Heck, my first Megalist was partially born out of boredom. Also, I only recently realized that both Megalists covered Bugchasing. How the heck did I only realize this now? Eh, if I ever rewrite them for the sake of polish, I’ll amend for that (the first is far more likely to be polished than the second one).
It’s also possible that Rose opted to fake the story so she could prove a point to a friend that certain websites would publish anything. I’ve brought this idea up in the past, and I think it remains true to this day. There are numerous sites dedicated to the paranormal that will publish whatever is sent to them, no matter how ludicrous it may be. It’s likely done due to a lack of content moderation, but it could also be because the site’s administrators don’t care about the quality of the content, only the quantity of it.
At the same time, there’s the very real possibility that this wasn’t the reason. If that’s the case, then we have to cling to the notion that Rose was bored and did this for laughs. While not impossible, I need to stress that I cannot fathom someone doing something like this for laughs when they have no way to see how many people they fooled. Half the fun of pranking people in this manner is seeing the reactions, and as far as I can tell, there’s no way to have done that on About. So, Rose would’ve had to rely on her imagination.
Setting that aside, I think you get the idea for this theory. It has the same strengths and weaknesses as many of the other cases from About. If you’re expecting anything new, you’re out of luck. But, hey, don’t let that deter you; this is the one theory that’s always a viable and worthwhile option. It’s kind of like DarkSydePhil. Nothing is capable of stopping it; it is eternal!
5. Barney the Dinosaur
Everyone’s favorite purple dinosaur joined the Third Street Saints in an attempt to become popular. The results came back inconclusive.
6. Or maybe it was a shiny human
A close friend of mine had the idea that Rose saw a “shiny human,” likening such a concept to a shiny Pokémon. After much consideration that involved utilizing various quantum computers that I got my hands on, I came to the conclusion that this is the irrefutable truth. My scientific prowess is enough to make an actual scientist fall asleep crying.
My Take
This sounds like another case of a bizarre alien encounter. However, I can’t exactly prove that because there’s nothing that directly points to the Purple Monster being of extraterrestrial origin—hence the “Humanoid Encounter” tag. Even with that tag, I’m making a slight assumption about its appearance.
That said, yeah, I think this was likely an alien. To me, it has the hallmarks of the more fantastical cases this blog has covered. It was a shiny, purple humanoid that purportedly looked ugly; it may as well be a grape jelly version of the Arboreal Abomination. God, I love that name more than I should.
Now, while that’s my personal stance, it is worth keeping in mind that this is the only report I know of that’s like this. While being an alien would explain the Purple Monster’s sudden appearance and disappearance (with it having arrived from and returned to its home world), I must stress that this case originated from About. It was submitted to a website on the Internet; it’s not like an investigator interviewed Rose or her neighbors personally. As such, it’s very plausible that this was a hoax.
As such, while I do have my biases for looking at this and going, “That sounds like an alien,” I do think there is a strong argument to be made in favor of it being a hoax. But, as I said, I have my biases, and just like the Purple Monster, they’re shining. I’m not sure if that’s healthy, but I’m sure it’ll sort itself out before long!
On one final note, I do want to say that it’s possible the Purple Monster was something else. I did exclude a large number of theories that I’d traditionally include—like it being some sort of spirit, a prank, mutant, escaped government experiment, or any other base I could cover. However, aside from wanting to keep the word count reasonable, I also don’t have anything to work with, and I don’t wish to repeat the same talking points all month long. I hope you understand, dear reader.
Conclusion
In the immortal words of Freddie Mercury, “Another one bites the dust.” Indeed, another Decemystery entry has come to a close, and this one was—for the most part—a blast to write. While I wish I had more time to do more research, life didn’t give me the ideal hand, so I had to make do with what I had.
Now, granted, there’s a high chance that I will revisit this case down the road; I’ve wanted to revisit a lot of old Decemystery stories on account of how much I’ve grown as a writer throughout the years. However, I’d like to wait at least two years before I do that with this story. So, in the meantime, I’ll hopefully find a similar story and have the opportunity to corroborate the oddness of a purple humanoid there.
Until that day (potentially) comes, though, I would like to know what your thoughts are on Rose’s sighting. Did she see an extraterrestrial? A cryptid? Or did she make it up? Or was it something I missed? God knows that I’ve missed a plethora of theories in the past. Let me know in the comments and all that other stuff other people say—and as always, stay happy, stay healthy, and thank you for reading!
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